


Save You Tonight

by TheIfInLife



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Beards (Relationships), Bottom Harry, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Football Player Louis, Foster Care System, Homophobic Slurs, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, On Hiatus, Underage Drinking, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-01-25 16:23:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1654898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIfInLife/pseuds/TheIfInLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The foster care system was everything Harry had expected it'd be. Until it wasn't.</p><p> </p><p>****** <br/>This fic is currently under reconstruction. I will be going through past chapters and work on improving this fic as much as possible. I'm also going to finish the next few chapters before I start posting again so that readers can expect some regularity. The Hiatus will not last very long, just until I can get these things finished. Sorry for the inconvenience. Have a lovely day :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in college at 1 a.m. when I was really homesick and going through a family crisis. So basically the first chapter is very sad and depressing but stay with me because it gets better. I'm not super skilled in writing chaptered fics so any type of feedback/constructive criticism is totally welcomed! I hope you enjoy what I've written! Have a lovely day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has officially been edited, brit picked, and updated. If you see any errors, please inform me of them.

Harry remembers the day like it was yesterday. He was at home messing around on the computer procrastinating doing his English homework when he got the call.

"Harry Styles?" An unfamiliar voice had asked him.

"Yeah? This is him. Who is this?" Harry had replied apprehensively.

"This is officer Ron Margrin, your family has been in an accident. Can you find a way to Halton General Hospital?"

"Yes, I'm on my way." Harry had replied instantly. He got a ride with the neighbors next door who always did gardening with his mum.

When he'd rushed into that room in the accident and emergency department, he didn't even know how he found his mum's room. But there he was, standing in front of her bed, watching as a machine kept her alive. Her breaths weren't on her own; a machine was making her breathe. Her eyes weren't opening, why weren't they opening? Didn't she realize that she could open them, that Harry was there? Why wasn't she sitting up and hugging him? Or telling him that his schoolwork is important? Or scolding him for forgetting to take the rubbish out?

Harry was freaking out. Where were Gemma and Robin? Where?

Harry stood up right as a doctor and a police officer entered the room.

"Where's my sister and step-dad?" Harry had demanded.

"They didn't make it." The doctor had said it so simply. He was just out with it like they were just words to him, like the words he’d just said didn't just shatter Harry into a million pieces.

Harry wanted to just, he didn't even know. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't break down right now, Harry looked to his mum, and he had to be strong. For his mum.

"How's my mum?" His voice already held a tone that he didn't recognize.

"Critical. The impact of the-" The doctor began.

"Stop, please don't. Just. Is she going to be okay?" He couldn't bear to hear this. No. He had to shut that away and never think about those images again.

"...It's uncertain...” The doctor was uneasy in telling the young boy of 16 that his mother probably wouldn't make it.

"Son, in the event that she passes-" The officer spoke up but Harry quickly interrupted him.

"Don't call me son." The fierceness in his voice surprised Harry. He'd never gotten like that towards anyone, especially a cop. "Don't call me anything, don't even talk to me."

Harry knew that was probably uncalled for but he couldn't help it. He turned his back to them and focused his attention on his mother. He couldn't really look at her face because it didn't look like his mum and that freaked him out.

He stayed at the hospital for a total of 43 hours before the line went flat. The doctors did everything that they could but she was pronounced dead after they couldn’t revive her. And Harry broke.

After his mum passed, he was put into the foster system. It was not pleasant at all. He was moved from home to home constantly for the first 6 months. His first home had been with a really nice family, the father was a successful businessman, the mother was so nice and their children, both biological and adopted were so good to Harry. He was their first foster child so it was kind of weird but Harry didn’t mind it, minus the fact that it wasn’t his mum, or Robin, or Gemma. And it wasn’t his room or the house that he grew up in, that house was sold off pretty soon after the accident.

The next few homes he stayed in were basically the same, a whole bunch of kids cramped in one house, struggling with finding enough food and just struggling in general. Some of the kids were outspoken, getting into trouble so that someone would notice and care for them, and some were dead silent. The most you got from those kids were intense muments of eye contact. And then there were the kids that acted as if nothing were wrong. Like they didn’t have a messed up past, didn’t come from a broken home. Harry was this type of foster child and in his third home in Doncaster; he met his three best friends, Perrie, Jade, and Jesy.

All three of them hit it off instantly. As much as Harry had tried to stay in contact with his old friends, moving hours away from them had made them grow apart. Plus Harry had a feeling they didn’t know how to approach him after what had happened. But it hurt so badly when his case worker came to pick him up to leave his third home, and his three best friends behind. They understood what he was going through without them ever even talking much about it.

Where he truly fell apart was the home before his current one. There was only one other foster kid there with a man and his wife. When he arrived, the eleven year old boy, Jude, stuck to him like glue and at first he didn’t understand but when the wife left for work on his first night there, he understood. He refused to even think about what happened during his time there, he just remembered the heart wrenching pain he felt when he was removed from that home, leaving Jude there alone.

After that, he was moved into his favorite home, by far. His case worker had told him when he first went into the system that he didn’t have a chance of being adopted, he was 16, no one would care that much. Not much had changed when he reached this home, but his case worker had promised him that he was going to be here for a long time, if not until he reached 18.


	2. First Impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the first chapter! Please tell me what you think! And thank you so very much for reading! You can follow/message me on [Tumblr](http://larryismyotpuniverse.tumblr.com/) or on Wattpad, also as TheIfInLife. Have a lovely day :)
> 
> This chapter has officially been edited, brit picked, and updated. If you see any errors, please inform me of them.

“So, your name is Harry.” His new foster parent had stated after the caseworker had dropped him off with his things. Harry simply nodded. “Well, welcome to our home. My name is Anne, my husband Paul will be home from work in a few hours. We have four kids, Ed, Leigh-Anne, Josh, Louise.”

Harry just nodded; he wasn’t sure about this lady at this point. He didn’t know if she was going to bake him cookies or give him a black eye. Not to mention the stab he felt when the lady introduced herself as Anne. That was his mum’s name. Which made him think of the accident. He used to be outgoing, even after the accident but his last house proved to him that he didn’t deserve the right to speak without being spoken to and sometimes, not even then.

“You’ve seen your room and the rest of the house so that part is done. In regards to school, I could’ve gone and enrolled you today but I figured I should give you the day to relax and de-stress a bit. But first there are some rules I’d like to share with you, let’s go into the living room, it’s more comfortable there.”

They walked into the living room and Harry was on edge. It’s not that he disagreed with rules, he had rules at his house, (he cringed at the thought of his real home and pushed those thoughts away before he could make himself sad; he didn’t have time for that) it was just that this was where he could usually tell if where he was going to be staying was going to be good or bad.

“Have a seat,” She said with nothing but politeness. “First off, I want to tell you that this is now _your_ home. You are a part of this family so there is really nothing to worry about.”

“Oh.” Harry mumbled out, unsure how to take the words she was saying to him.

“I just want to lay some ground rules just so that we’re on the same page. The first rule is no smoking or drinking or drugs of any kind while you’re here. Also, your door stays open when you have a girl over. Be respectful of the rest of this family and do your schoolwork. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes, Mrs. Higgins.” Harry replied quietly. As far as he could tell, it didn’t seem too bad.

“Oh, there will be none of that. Please, call me Anne or mum. Either one works.”

“I can’t.” Harry didn’t mean for that to slip, he really didn’t because he knew that would lead to questions that he didn’t want to answer or a punishment for directly disobeying his authority.

“What do you mean, dear?” The woman spoke with concern.

He wasn’t sure why he had the urge to open up to this woman but he just did. “Anne,” The name felt so foreign on his tongue, not having said it out loud since the accident. “Anne was my mum’s name.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. This must be hard for you. How long has it been, since?”

“Almost 7 months.” Harry whispered and wow he really wasn’t about to do this right now. He changed the subject. “But anyway, are those all the rules you have for me?”

“Yes, that is all. You can go hang out in your room or help me make dinner or whatever you feel like doing.” She smiled at Harry and he found himself starting to trust the woman but immediately he shut that thought down. He couldn’t afford to trust her.

Harry had begun to head up the stairs to the room he shared with one of the real Higgins  kids when Mrs. Higgins called his name,

“Oh Harry, I almost forgot!” She met him on the stairs and handed him a phone. “Here. All the kids get one; you’re on our family plan so. Also, this may be a bit awkward but just so you know, inappropriate sites are blocked, so no porn. But now you can head on up to your room, the kids will be home from school soon.”

“Thank you.” Harry said with genuine thanks.

He made his way to his room and plopped down on the bed that was provided for him and he was surprised to find that it was actually comfortable. Like seriously comfortable, possibly brand new. For a while, he just stared around at the decorations the other boy had put up. If he hadn’t been forced to get rid of a lot of his stuff, Harry imagined his room would look pretty similar.

But then Harry remembered he actually had a phone! He’d had one up until the accident, after that, no one wanted to pay for it so the service got shut off. But this meant he could call his friends! Within seconds he was dialing his best friend from Cheshire.

“Hullo?” Came the gruffly voice of Olly Murs.

“Olly, hey it’s Harry.” Harry wasn’t really sure how to even begin this conversation and in that mument, Harry realized that so much had changed.  It was actually a bit  awkward to talk to the guy who he used to call his best friend.

“Harry, as in Harry Styles?!” Olly immediately perked up, was this really his best mate that he hadn’t seen in a long time?

“Yeah.” He really wasn’t sure where to go from there, maybe he should just hang up.

“Bro! How have you been? Where are you at? Are you back in Holmes Chapel?!” Olly obviously couldn’t help but fire thousands of questions at Harry; he’d been so worried that he’d never see the lad again.

“I’ve been okay. I just got moved to another foster home and they gave me a phone so. And I don’t know where I’m at, I quit caring.” He didn’t mean to sound so dismal but he was just being honest.

“Wow…I’m so sor-“

“No, it’s fine, don’t be sorry for me. I’ll live.” Now things were really getting awkward, how was he supposed to have a normal conversation with his best mate like they used to when all this messed up shit has happened? “Hey listen, I have to go, just text me when you can.”

“Alright. It was nice to hear from you, Harry.” He sounded sad but Harry really couldn’t take it.

“Bye Olly.” He hung up the phone quickly and threw it down on the bed.

He was having trouble keeping his thoughts away from how much he missed his real life back in Holmes Chapel. If the accident hadn’t of happened, Harry would probably be at home hanging out with Olly. He would probably be threatening to cut off Olly’s balls if he said one more thing about Gemma being hot.

Dammit. There they were, the stupid tears. Most days when he thought of his old life, he had an ache for his mum but it hit him like a freight train that Gemma wasn’t just off at uni right now. That’s what he’d been kind of telling himself because she’d been making all these plans to go to Manchester, she was so excited-

NO fuck! Harry was not about to do this. He took a deep breath, wiped his eyes and stood up. For a mument he paced his room, deciding on whether or not he’d get in trouble for asking to go outside. Eventually, he figured he might as well try. If he got in trouble, then oh well, he really didn’t care anymore.

Harry quietly made his way downstairs to find Mrs. Higgins cutting up some fruit in the kitchen. “Mrs. Higgins?”

“Yes dear?” The pleasant smile on her face was a refreshing sight for Harry. Even still, he couldn’t get close to her. Nope, not happening.

“May I go outside for a walk?” He held his breath.

“Sure. If you happen to get lost or need anything, I already have all of the family’s numbers in your contacts so just call me.” She returned to cutting her fruit with a cheerful, “Have fun, Harry.”

Harry shook off the weird feelings he felt at being treated so nicely and headed out the door. With the phone and the huge house, it really shouldn’t have surprised Harry that they were in a gated community. But the houses here were just…huge. He wasn’t really paying attention when he drove here with his caseworker so it was like seeing it for the first time.

His home wasn’t super small or anything but it definitely wasn’t the size of these homes. It made him wonder what Mr. and Mrs. Higgins did for work because, holy crap. Harry was walking around aimlessly when a honk nearly made him piss himself. He was about to turn around and give them a dirty look when the car stopped next to him.

“Hey! Haven’t seen you around before, you wouldn’t happen to be Harry would you?” The boy speaking to him had a head full of red hair but Harry didn’t recognize him so he wasn’t sure what he should do.

“Ed you’ve probably freaked him out!” A girl in the backseat said, knocking him in the back of the head before stepping out of the car herself and presenting him with a hand. “My name’s Leigh-Anne. We’re the kids of the Higgins’, nice to meet you, Harry.”

“Hello.” Harry said, shaking her hand.

“Creeper over there is Ed,” She said, pointing to the ginger. “That’s Lou,” She pointed to the blonde girl in the front seat. “And that is Josh.” And lastly she pointed to the brunette boy in the backseat. “Welcome to our family.” They all waved sweetly at him and Harry was honestly speechless.

He wanted to scream out that they weren’t his family. His family was 6 feet under, he didn’t have a family. But instead, he offered up the best smile that he could. No sense in giving these people a reason to hate him.

“Go on, Ed, I’m going to walk back with Harry.” Leigh-Anne insisted and god Harry could feel the awkward coming on. Ed drove off; leaving them in silence as they walked until she said, “So, tell me about you. Mum already said that you were 16 and that’s about all the information we got on you.”

“Umm. I don’t know, that’s all the information that really matters.” He really wasn’t sure what information to give this girl. He hoped she wasn’t looking for his sob story because she sure as hell wasn’t getting that.

“Really? I’m sure there’s more than that! What about things like your music tastes, favorite movies, and food and the girls you think are hot.” Leigh-Anne pushed politely.

“Are you all like this?” Harry asked, mostly to deflect the attention from him but also out of curiosity.

“Like what?” She asked, confused.

“So…” He was struggling to find the words when she finished them for him.

“Nice? Loving?” She offered.

“Yeah.” He breathed.

“Yeah,” She laughed, shaking her head slightly. “We were all lucky to find a place like the Higgins’.”

“What do you mean?” Confusion was evident in his voice.

“We were all foster kids when we came here. Except Josh, he is Mum’s biological son from a previous marriage.”

Harry really wasn’t sure about this family now. What kind of foster parents actually adopt all of their foster kids? Harry’s sure that they won’t feel this way about him.  He wanted to question Leigh-Anne some more but they’d just arrived at the front door so he figured he better just keep him mouth shut about it. But the way she easily called both of them her mum and dad was bothering Harry to no end. He shut those thoughts away as he stepped back into the house, being overwhelmed by the smell of food wafting from the kitchen.

“Making dinner a bit early, eh mum?” Lou called from the living room and Harry froze. He was expecting Mrs. Higgins to lash out, say something like it was her house and she could cook whenever she felt like. But that mument never came.

“Tonight is a special night Lou, couldn’t wait. Your father and I have an announcement and also the arrival of Harry here. So I just couldn’t wait!” She literally giggled in excitement. “Do you want to come in here and help me?”

“No thanks, I’ve gotta go call…” Harry didn’t hear the rest; he was on his way up the stairs back to his room.

The Ed kid was already in there when he entered and suddenly he felt really awkward. Not that sharing a room with kids was unusual; he hadn’t had his own room since his first foster home. It was just, this family was different. It felt like they actually cared about him as a person and not just a check that they’ll get because he’s staying there. At least, that’s how the other kids seemed.

He wasn’t planning on saying much to Ed, not really much to say in his opinion. But he should’ve realized that Ed was going to try to talk to him. It shouldn’t have surprised him.

“So, Harry.” Ed began, mindlessly strumming on his guitar. “Do you ever listen to The Script?”

“Yeah…” Harry trailed off; he couldn’t really find anything else to say.

“Do you want to have a jam session with me?” Ed asked, already strumming the beginning cords of ‘Breakeven’

Honestly, Harry was skeptical. Like who would invite him to sing with them before even properly saying hello? But as the boy began singing the words, he couldn’t help but sing along. There was something about Ed’s voice that just… it was magical. He was going to be famous one day, Harry could just tell.

“You have an awesome voice.” Ed told him, which what?

“Are you kidding? You have an amazing voice, way better than mine!” He wasn’t sure where all this sudden passion to compliment this boy he just met came from but there it was. It felt kind of weird to be passionate about something, even just as small as this guy-Ed, knowing how talented he is.

“Thanks bro. Or um, Harry. Sorry, I know that some people don’t like being called bro when…ya know…”

“It’s alright you can call me bro, I don’t mind.” Harry was quick to say. “But yeah, it’s…”

“Do you want to hear a song I wrote?” Ed asked, looking equal parts nervous and eager.

“You write too? That’s so cool! I’d love to hear it.”

Without a second thought, Ed begins strumming. “It’s um; it’s not finished yet so...”

And then he begins singing.

_‘When I was just a young boy_

_You were the hero, my own personal superman._

_But little did I know that everything would be ripped from my small hands._

_Your eyes they used to shine so bright_

_They look just like mine._

_Now everything is just messed up.’_

The strumming picked up, singling to Harry that the chorus was about to begin. He almost stopped Ed because he couldn’t take this. It hurt.

_‘It’s been 6 whole years. 6 whole years, papa._

_6 entire years of me growing up_

_And you are missing out._

_Are you proud now?_

_Are you drunk enough now?_

_6 whole years.’_

“That’s all I’ve got.” Ed said quietly and Harry was doing all that he could not to cry. The first part reminded him of his mum but the second part hurt him in an entirely different way.

“I can’t imagine...” Harry whispered into the silence, not brave enough to meet Ed’s eyes.

“Well.” Ed sighed, setting his guitar on the stand. “Neither can I.” He flopped back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked. “If you don’t mind me asking.” It was an unspoken rule among foster kids that you don’t talk about it. Your story.

“It’s fine. It’s like… I love mum and dad so much. They are my guardian angels, ya know?” He looked up at Harry for confirmation, which Harry gave, not having experienced that with these people yet. “But sometimes I just want to see my biological dad’s face. Like does he understand that all he had to do was get sober? Get clean and he’d have me back in his custody. And he didn’t even try…But obviously he can’t now, not since mum and dad have adopted me. Which I’m so grateful for but like...”

“It hurts. I get it. My biological dad, he uh...” Was Harry really doing this? He was going to just say never mind and walk away but then he saw the vulnerable look on Ed’s face and he knew he had to continue. “After the accident, he was given the opportunity to take me. He didn’t.”

“Our dads are just real pieces of shit then aren’t they.”

Harry was about to reply that his real dad, Robin, was never a piece of shit to him but before he had the chance, Mrs. Higgins was calling up the stairs for them.

When they’d arrived down stairs, Harry saw a tall, built man coming in through the front door. He was wearing a business suit and carrying a brief case, so Harry assumed this must be Mr. Higgins.

“Harry.” The man said in a monotone. He walked straight up to Harry, and he was waiting for it, the punch, shoves, something. He knew it was coming.

When Paul tried to pull Harry into a hug, Harry flinched so hard he nearly fell. And then his cheeks were hot with blush. Everyone saw it. Everyone knew what it was.

“Just a hug, lad. Just going in for a hug.” Paul reassured, pulling Harry into an actual hug and squeezing tight. Harry had the overwhelming urge to cry. “Welcome home!”

And that was it, he ran. The nearest bathroom that he could remember was upstairs, across from his and Ed’s room so he ran to it. He knew it was a little dramatic but he seriously needed a breather from all this family crap. They weren’t his family. He had a family. Even if they were all-

“Harry?” There was a gentle knock on the door to match the soft, feminine voice. “Can I come in?”

He didn’t respond but the bathroom door opened anyway. It was Louise.

“Not to be a dick cause that honestly isn’t how I roll, but I’m not going to talk to you. Or cry. Or apologize.” Harry warned her.

“That’s fine.” She closed the door behind her. “I didn’t come up here to ask you to apologize. I just, I don’t know. I just wanted to say that I may understand a bit of what you’re feeling. I got here a year and a half ago and it was tough. I’d spent almost my entire life in the system. You see a lot of things but what you rarely see is love. It’s weird to go from a place that just uses you to a place where you actually matter…So. Anyways, I just wanted to say that. And um dad’s-“

“How can you say that? How can you just call him dad? You met him a year and a half ago.” It was something that’s been on Harry’s mind all day long.

“In that year and a half, he’s been there through the days I couldn’t move because I was so upset, he’s listened to every single one of my stupid jokes, he’s met my friend’s parents before I go to their house, he asks me about boys and protects me when I choose the wrong one. He may not be my blood, but he’s my dad, my father.”

She turned as if to leave but Harry stopped her, “Hey, um. Are all the days in this house so emotional?” He was going to say something comforting or something of that sort but that slipped out instead.

“Only the first few weeks.” She laughed slightly. “You ready for dinner?”

“Yeah, but um, Louise?”

“It’s Lou.” She corrected sweetly.

“Lou, sorry. Thank you, for that.” They smiled at each other before heading downstairs.

Harry felt so awkward seeing all of them as they sat at the kitchen table, knowing that he just pulled a drama queen move by fleeing the scene. He didn’t know if he should apologize or address it at all, but before he could have the chance, Mr. Higgins was clearing his throat, standing from his chair.

“Have a seat.” He ordered, but not with a spec of rudeness. Nevertheless, Harry was quick to follow. “I’m sure mum has told all of you that I have some news.”

Everyone looked at Paul expectantly, Mrs. Higgins practically squirming in her seat as Paul exclaimed,  “I’ve gotten a promotion!”

Everyone cheered happily for Paul, even Harry. It was an accomplishment, so Harry was happy for that. What he wasn’t expecting was what Paul said next.

“So you all know what that means!” The other kids were cheering so Harry hoped that meant that it was something positive, but he couldn’t help the feeling in his gut that something bad was about to happen. Everyone was discussing these awesome places such as Italy, Spain, Jamaica, and Ireland while Harry was just utterly confused.

“Paul! Explain to Harry!” Mrs. Higgins said over the loud chaos at the table.

“That’s right, Harry doesn’t know.” He said, taking his seat and picking up a spoon. “Well every time I get a promotion, the family goes on a holiday in the summer, which is only about two months away so we need to choose quickly so I book everything.”

“Okay, sounds cool.” Harry nodded, wondering if he’d even be here by then. Granted his caseworker told him he’d be here for a long time, but he still didn’t know.

“We all get a vote on where we want to go, Harry!” Leigh-Anne practically squealed. “My vote is for Jamaica! Just think, we could lay out on the beach and tan - ”

“Or burn our skin off.” Ed interjected. “I think we should go to Ireland. Like it's right there and - ”

“Oh come on, Ed! That’s right there, we should explore some. I say we hit up Italy, how awesome would that be?” Josh said speaking up for the first time since Harry met him.

“But how cool would Spain be. Spanish boys - ”

Paul cleared his throat after throwing Lou a stern look. “What do you think, Harry?”

“Um, I’ve always thought Ireland was cool.” Harry shrugged, seeing Ed nod excitedly out of the corner of his eye.

“But where is a place _you’ve_ always wanted to go?” Mrs. Higgins pushed. Harry simply shrugged; he didn’t like all of this attention on him. “Oh come on, there’s got to be some place-“

“L.A.” He spoke quietly, unsure of if this was an okay place or not. The room went silent.

“America.” Leigh-Anne whispered. “I like it!” And after that, it was a chorus of “yes!” and “’Merica y’all!” With bad impressions of the American accent.

“Show of hands for L.A.?” Paul asked. Every single hand went up and Harry couldn’t believe it. They were going to L.A. “L.A. it is!”

After that, dinner went pretty smoothly. Everyone was talking excitedly about their upcoming trip or the day’s events at school, which only served to make Harry more nervous. No matter how many times Harry has been the new kid at school, it never got easier. It’s unpredictable how people will react to him. Some feel the need to bully him, some ignore him completely, and some flock to him, eager to impress.

Once dinner was over, everyone was released to do their own thing. Immediately Lou and Leigh-Anne rushed to his side like he was a magnet.

“Let’s go outside! You can come meet some of our friends.” Lou had said as she dragged him out with her. Not that he really minded, he didn’t want to end up in his room with nothing to do but think. That always led to bad places.

“Let’s go to the Tomlinson’s first.” Leigh-Anne offered. “Lottie is a bit younger, but it’s hard to tell, she’s a lot of fun. Louis’ there too but we don’t hang around him much.”

The big grey house next to the Higgins’ home was apparently where the Tomlinson’s lived. The three of them stood on the doorstep, knocking and waiting patiently. After a few muments, a blond haired, blue-eyed girl of probably fourteen answered the door.

“Lottie!” Leigh-Anne exclaimed excitedly. They exchanged a brief hug as did Lottie and Lou. And then she was staring at him expectantly.

“’M Harry.” He offered quietly.

“This is our new foster brother!” Lou said as the three of them were let into the house.

“Cool, nice to meet you, Harry.” She was so polite. “Let’s go up to my room.”

They went up the stairs and, her room was so big, it was the size of his real home’s living room. Everything was pink and black zebra print, it all just screamed that she was very traditionally girly. He honestly wasn’t paying much attention to the conversation they were having, something about school. That made him nervous so he tuned it out.

“What do you think, Harry?” Lottie asked him.

“What?” He was snapped back to them.

“I asked you if you wanted to go to the park.” She smiled at him with obvious flirtatiousness. Awkwardness seeped over him and he had to find a way out of this situation.

“Um…Can I use your toilet?” Anything to get away from this even for a few seconds.

“Yeah. The one up here is getting renovated so you’ll have to use the one in our basement. Down the stairs, and through the kitchen. It’s pretty easy to find, but I could take you if you’d like.” She offered.

“No, I think I’ve got it, thank you.” Harry declined as politely as he could.

He jumped up and headed out before she could say anything else. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but for one, the girl was most definitely too young for him and for two, he has never really been into girls. Granted he’d never really dated, but he always had a ‘meh’ type of feeling when he thought about dating a girl.

He’d been so caught up in his thoughts that he ran straight into something-someone. He looked up, mortified. Even more so when he realized that this boy before him was absolutely gorgeous. “I-I’m so sorry-“

“Who the hell are you?” The fierceness in this boy’s voice had Harry curling in on himself. “Have you been up in my sister’s room? What are you doing with my sister?!” He roared and Harry felt tears sting at his eyes.

“I-I wasn’t doing anything with her, I was just hanging out wi-“ He couldn’t help but stutter, Harry could understand how this boy could get the wrong idea but he was so crippled with fear that he couldn’t explain what was actually happening.

“Get out of my house!” This boy yelled. “Go!”

Harry was trembling and he couldn’t remember the way out. This damn house was so big that he had gotten himself lost. He went through a doorway which was apparently the wrong one because next thing he knew, there was a hand gripping the back of his shirt.

“Not that way, you horny fuck.” The guy said, pulling him towards a different doorway. Once they were out of the kitchen, Harry could see the front door not too far away. He could’ve made it out himself but this guy wouldn’t let him go.

“I’m not horny; I’m just here because of L-“ He was desperately trying to explain but this frustrating fuck kept interrupting him.

“Don’t fucking lie to me.” They were at the doorway, this other guy still not letting him go. He managed to get the door open and he shoved Harry out, hard. “If I ever see you again, you’ll fucking wish I hadn’t.”

The shove caused Harry to fall down the concrete steps as the front door slammed behind him. He winced pathetically as he stood up. His knee was hurt as well as his palm but being yelled at hurt worse. He ran back to the Higgins’ home as fast as he could.

He was pretty sure Ed tried to make conversation with him when he burst through the front door but he didn’t pay any attention. Instead he ran into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. He searched through the cabinets for a few muments, gathering things to disinfect his palm and knee. Once he’d found some antiseptic wipes and savlon cream, he got to work.

Both his palm and knee were bleeding, but nothing dire. He had always been slightly queasy with cuts left open, no type of plaster or anything. So he made quick work of bandaging himself up. During the whole process, he found it difficult to keep from crying in public (even if we was alone in the bathroom). But he had to keep it in, he couldn’t just cry out in the open like that.

As soon as his cuts were cleaned, he went into his and Ed’s room, thanking whoever was up there that Ed wasn’t in the room. Quickly, so as not to get caught going to his spot, he slid under his bed and curled into the fetal position. And then he let the tears that had been threatening to spill, free.

He’d only been under there a few minutes when he heard the familiar voices of Lou and Leigh-Anne calling out his name. Thanks to the fact that Leigh-Anne was loud, Harry could hear her telling probably one of the adults the story of what had just happened.

“Louis kicked him out cause he thought that Harry was trying to fool around with Lottie!” She’d exclaimed angrily.

“He was being a right prick!” Lou added.

“Language.” Paul warned.

After that, Harry quit listening. He eventually drifted off to sleep under his bed only to wake up shortly after by the sound of his phone vibrating.

_‘Hey, this is Lottie. I hope you don’t mind that the girls gave me your number, and also, I’m really sorry that my brother is such a douche_ _☹’_

He didn’t reply, but he did crawl out from under his bed, again thankful that Ed was not there. He felt like a dog coming home with his tail between his legs as he descended the stairs. He was honestly expecting another yelling when Mrs. Higgins saw him. Instead she ran to him and embraced him in a hug.

“Harry!” During that hug, she managed to bump his palm, he tried and failed at holding in the wince. “Are you hurt?! Let me see.” Harry figured there was no reason to deny it, she was going to see the bandage anyway. He just held his hand out to her silently.

She gasped. “Oh I am going to have a talk with Jay about this!” Mrs. Higgins actually looked angry and Harry was glad that the anger wasn’t toward him. In that mument, he vowed never to make Mrs. Higgins mad.

“Who’s Jay?” He asked quietly.

“Jay Tomlinson, Louis’ mother.” There was still a fierceness in her tone and Harry wasn’t sure why but he protested.

“No, I’m fine. No need to involve the mother. It’s just a scratch, I’m just being dramatic. It’s really fine.” He was begging and suddenly Harry was worried what this guy may do to him if he finds out that Harry snitched. “Please, promise me you won’t say anything to her. It was just a misunderstanding.”

Mrs. Higgins looked at Harry skeptically but eventually said, “Fine. You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Alright.” She didn’t look convinced but, thankfully, she let it drop. “We’re about to watch a movie, want to join?”

Harry nodded and followed her into the living room where the rest of the family, minus Josh, sat. The two girls looked as if they were going to say something to Harry but right as they opened their mouths, Paul grunted,

“No talking during the movie!” There were light laughs from the family as Harry settled in next to Ed and Leigh-Anne.

As much as Harry loved Thor, he just couldn’t keep his eyes open. He was out within the first 15 minutes of the movie. Sometime later he heard vague whispers around him,

“We’ve got to wake him up.” It sounded like Paul.

“He looks so much happier in his sleep.” Someone else commented, sounding like Ed.

“This angel has been through a lot.” That was definitely Mrs. Higgins.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, taken aback a little at the fact that his head was rested on Ed’s shoulder. “Sorry mate!” Harry apologized, sitting up quickly.

“It’s alright. Let’s head on up to bed, yeah?” Ed replied, sounding equally as tired.

Without a word, Harry followed him, nodding his goodnights to Paul and Mrs. Higgins. Once he was in their room, Harry collapsed on his bed, falling asleep to the thoughts of how exhausting and weird his first day in the Higgins home had been. And how tomorrow, his first day of school, would probably be even worse.


	3. Three Big Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Here is another chapter! Pleeeasse send me some type of feedback! Are you all liking it? No? Yes? Maybe? Let me know!

The next morning Mrs. Higgins rapped on their door at 6:30 A.M. on the dot. “You boys be downstairs by 7 sharp.” Before she went on to Leigh-Anne’s room and said something similar.

Instantly, Harry was up. Not only was he nervous, but he was generally a morning person. Not to mention, a person’s guard is down when they’re asleep. So he’d grown accustomed to being up early enough so that his guard wasn’t down by the time the others woke up. It probably didn’t make sense to anyone else, but to Harry it made perfect sense.

Quietly as he could, because Ed was still asleep, he made his way over to his drawers. The one thing that he had that most foster kids didn’t was decent clothing. Because he’d grown up in a well-off home (although obviously not as well-off as the Higgins family), almost all of the clothing he owned was brand name. He decided to go with an American Eagle shirt and some cargo shorts, grabbing all that he would need and running to the bathroom.

To his surprise, the bathroom was actually empty. He knew he was short on time so he jumped in and out of the shower as quickly as he could. He toweled off and threw on his clothes, quickly glancing in the mirror on his way out. He went back into his room to pull on some converse and pull a brush through his hair. After shaking his hair out, he checked the time on his phone, 6:50. He was doing okay on time.

“Ed.” He whispered quietly. “We have 10 minutes to be downstairs.” As Ed sat up and groaned, Harry went back to his phone, he had a few messages.

‘Hey its Lottie again…I’m still sorry about what happened.’

To that he quickly typed out an, ‘it’s okay.’ And he then moved on to his next message from Olly.

‘Morning mate!’

Harry responded with ‘Good morning, Olly’. His next message was oddly from Leigh-Anne.

‘Hey Harry. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about what happened. I slapped him in the face if that makes you feel any better :P’

Harry didn’t reply to that one, but it did make him laugh. He shook his head, already having this feeling that Leigh-Anne was going to be his closest friend here. Looking at the time, he realized that he still had five minutes, but he grabbed his backpack and headed down the stairs anyway. Ed probably wanted some privacy and he was done so might as well get out of his way.

“Good morning, Harry!” Mrs. Higgins said, obviously being a morning person herself. She was setting out plates of eggs, bacon, and toast on the table as he took a seat.

“Good morning, Mrs. Higgins.” He smiled at her and it felt weird, this completely pleasant moment. Harry had gotten used to everyone being shitty to each other, no breakfast, no good mornings, and no smiles. This Higgins family just kept getting weirder and weirder.

To Harry’s surprise, all the kids and even Paul were down by 7. He honestly didn’t think Ed would make it, but he did in the last minute. Apparently the surprise Harry felt was noticeable because Paul leaned over and whispered,

“If we’re late, she gets to have our bacon.” And they both chuckled lightly as they finished their meals. By 7:15, Mrs. Higgins was loading the dishwasher and everyone was getting ready to leave.

“Okay, I’m taking Harry today, I have to sign a few things to finish up his enrollment but he’ll be riding home with you lot, so don’t forget.” She paused to give Paul a kiss before he headed out the door. “Alright?” She asked.

“Yes, mom.” They all chorused as they headed out the door.

Harry and Mrs. Higgins were close behind, only taking a few seconds longer as she set the alarms and locked the door. She then led him to the entrance to the garage and Harry’s heart about stopped. Right there in the garage was the new Corvette StingRay. Like what??????

“What do you think, Harry? Mom van or Corvette?” Her tone was light and humorous. As if this was a laughing matter!

“S-StingRay.” He didn’t even realize that his legs were carrying him closer until he could smell it. He could freaking smell it, the paint on the car, the leather seats. For a moment, his hand lingered on the door handle…he wasn’t even worthy to sit in this car.

“Harry, get in. We haven’t got all day.” She was still chuckling but Harry did as she said. “I take it you like cars.” She said as the engine roared to life and Harry nearly had an orgasm.

“Just corvettes.” He was trying to shake himself of the shock. “Wait, how many cars do you have?” As they backed out and drove up towards the gate.

“Paul’s got his Escalade for work, we got the Volvo for the kids, the van for when we’re going places as a family, and this sexy thing,” She revved the engine. “Is mine.”

At that moment, they’d pulled up to the gate; she rolled down the window to put in a code. Once the gate had opened for them, they were off. It was only a ten minute drive to the school and Harry nearly cried when he had to get out of the car.

But he did, and there they were, at the front doors of his new school. He took a deep breath and walked through the front doors. Mrs. Higgins led him to the front office where she signed some papers and he was given his class schedule. Soon though, she was gone and he was sent out into the common area to do whatever until school officially started.

Usually Harry was outgoing but this big of a crowd left him feeling invisible. He was wondering the halls, trying to find his first class when he turned a corner and straight up bumped into someone, knocking the papers out of his hands. He looked up to see none other than the guy who’d shoved him out of his house less than 24 hours prior. ‘If I ever see you again, you’ll fucking wish I hadn’t.’

“Uh, sorry, sorry.” He was quick to pick up his papers when he felt a hand on his shoulder, flinching back embarrassingly obviously, Harry whimpered. “I’m sorry.”

“Listen-“ This guy-Louis, he remembers the others calling him, began but he was interrupted by a loud shriek.

“HARRY STYLES?!?!” Perrie Edwards came running down the hall, breezing past Louis and nearly tackling Harry in a hug. Perrie was one of his best friends, he thought he’d never see her again. “You knob!” She playfully hit him as she pulled back. “You’re going to make me ruin my make up!”

“What are you doing here?” He asked as she dabbed at her eyes.

“Got moved here. Not that far though, only a different school district. We’re still in Doncaster, y’know.” By now she was jumping up and down with glee. “What are the odds of this?! The four of us have been reunited! Jade and I ended up in the same home again and Jesy was moved only a few blocks away!”

Harry thought he might actually cry. “Jesy and Jade too? Where are they?”

“Jesy is sick today, man she is not going to believe me. Jade’s probably off somewhere making out with someone.” They both shared a laugh and then Perrie got serious. “There’s someone you have to meet!” She’d grabbed ahold of his hand and began pulling him away and it was then that Harry realized that Louis wasn’t standing there anymore. And he was glad.

Eventually they stopped in front of a door that led into an art room. There were a few students in the room, looking as if they were working on projects. A bell sounded throughout the school and Harry grew a bit panicked.

“It’s just a warning, we still have 5 minutes.” Perrie explained. Even still, kids began to flood the hallways and within the art room, people began packing up. “Okay so, the person I want you to meet is my boyfriend and he’ll be walking out of this door any second. Be nice.”

Right on cue, a mysterious looking boy with raven hair walked out of the room, smiling widely at Perrie.

“Zayn, this is Harry! Do you remember me telling you about him? He’s just been transferred here! Harry, this is my boyfriend, Zayn!” Perrie was just so excited, it was contagious. And daaaaaamn, he was freaking sexy. Like one look at his jawline and Harry was jealous.

“Hi.” He offered politely. The two laced hands and exchanged private smiles that made Harry’s heart ache. “So what’s your schedule?” He asked mostly to distract from the realization that he’d become the third wheel.

Perrie grabbed the papers in his hand, going to his schedule and examining it. “Harreh, we have English together! The three of us do! This is going to be so awesome.”

“Yeah!” Harry really was enthusiastic but he couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy in the presence of this guy that Perrie was dating. “Can you show me to my first hour? I have no idea where I’m going in this place.”

Perrie studied the paper, frowning. “My first hour is all the way over by Gordon’s room which is on the other side of the building. But Zayn has a class close by there, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I can show you the way.” He sounded overly cheerful and Harry really wasn’t sure. “Let’s get going then.” He handed Harry his schedule and the two headed down the hall.

At first it was really awkward because he wasn’t sure what to say to Zayn and Zayn seemed like the quiet type. But it only took a few seconds of quiet for Zayn to snap.

“So Perrie tells me you’re her best friend and I get that. But just know right now that she is mine. I don’t care if I have to beat your face in, she is my girlfriend and you randomly coming back into her life will not change that. Are we clear?”

“Dude, calm down, Perrie is just my best friend-“ Harry was getting irritated at everyone assuming that he’s fooling around with every girl he comes into contact with.

“Just your best friend? Or do you have some ulterior motives?” He pushed even further as they rounded a corner.

“No, I don’t. Perrie and I aren’t like that-“

“Whatever you say man. Just know she’s mine. This is your classroom.” Zayn said with finality and Harry couldn’t take it.

“If you would stop fucking interrupting me, I’d be able to tell you that I am fucking gay. Do you get that? I don’t like vagina so you can have Perrie all to yourself.” He walked in to his classroom, shaking his head and muttering, “Jesus Christ, possessive much.”

Classes were fine. It was school, not really much exciting. Although he was surprised that no one had called him a homo by the time lunch rolled around. He’d figured that Zayn would run off and tell someone who would tell someone else and they would tell someone else, basically leading to the entire school knowing that he liked dick. But apparently he hadn’t.

He knew this because when he saw Jade for the first time, they literally did the slow, run into each other’s arms, and around them some guys made wolf calls. Which was extremely rude but Harry decided to let it drop.

Jade was as outgoing as ever. From the minute she saw Harry she was talking. Some of it was about the changes as far as her foster homes went; some of it was about the boring classes and all that went with school, but the majority of it was about people. One of Harry’s favorite things about Jade was that she loved people. It didn’t matter if you were black, white, or freaking pink, she would love you. Some people would probably call her a slut, but that couldn’t be any further from the truth. To Harry’s knowledge, she was still technically a virgin. She just enjoyed the attention, what was so wrong with that? And besides, who hasn’t done something sexual with someone by the time they’re sixteen? Or right, Harry, that’s who. Well voluntarily anyways.

“Harry! There you are!” Came Leigh-Anne’s voice above the crowd as she approached the table that Jade and Harry were sat at. Perrie and Zayn were due to show up any second according to Jade and Harry still felt unsure about Zayn; he understood where he was coming from but it still sent off a red flag in his mind.

“Yeah.” Harry smiled politely.

“And I see you’ve already made a friend!” Her cheeks were kind of blushed as she glanced over to Jade who had stopped talking to smile at Leigh-Anne.

“Well actually she is one of my best friends. She’s from one of my older foster homes. Jade, this is Leigh-Anne; she lives at the Higgins’ house too.”

“Hi,” She smiled warmly. “I like your hair, it suits you.” She offered a little wave. “Do you want to sit with us?”

“Thanks.” She drifted a hand up to timidly play with a few curls of her afro. She took a seat, setting her tray down and looking back to Jade. “I think you’re in my pre-calc class right?”

“Yeah! I totally forgot we had that class together. How are logarithms going for you?”

“UGH. Seriously, I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t understand anything in that class.” Leigh-Anne replied, Harry just watching on as these two interacted.

“I could help you sometime if you want.” Jade offered, sipping her milk and suddenly her attention was on Harry. “Harry, behind you, hot guy in a grey hoodie.” As smoothly as Harry could manage, he glanced behind him. There was a brunette boy with warm brown eyes; it actually kind of reminded him of a puppy. He was pretty attractive.

“He is pretty attractive. I like his eyes.” Harry looked back to the two girls and he could tell that Leigh-Anne was trying to act casual and he really hoped this wouldn’t be a problem with her.

“Are you talking about Liam Payne?” Leigh-Anne asked.

“Yeah, I think that’s his name. He’s in my music class, I tried flirting with him once, and it didn’t really work.” Jade said as if rejection wasn’t a negative thing. Harry envied her for that. If someone wasn’t interested, she just shrugged and moved on.

“I don’t like him.” Leigh-Anne spoke firmly as Perrie and Zayn finally made their appearance, hands clutched tightly as they walked from the gym.

“Why not? He’s a cool guy.” Jade questioned, looking seriously upset by this.

“Because his best friend is Louis Tomlinson. And he’s a jackass.” Leigh-Anne spat, finally picking up some of the food on her tray.

Jade continued talking, but Harry tuned it out. He wasn’t really up for a conversation full of bashing people or defending people or anything like that. Thankfully, Perrie saved him from the conversation. She sat next to him while Zayn sat across from her, next to Leigh-Anne.

“Harreh!” She smiled enthusiastically. “How’s it going so far? No one is giving you trouble or anything?”

“Not quite.” He quickly glanced over at Zayn, who was blushing slightly. “Just a few misunderstandings.”

“Well if anyone gives you any kind of trouble, just send them my way.” She said firmly. “Hey! You should see if you can come over tonight. Jesy would love to see you.”

“Yeah, I’ll see.” And then an uncomfortable feeling settled over the table. No one really seemed to know what to say. It was weird honestly, Harry knew that Jade was a very talkative person and Leigh-Anne was a loud person too, yet neither of them were making a sound.

“That game of ManU vs. City was pretty intense.” Zayn randomly muttered.

“Who won?” Harry asked; although he sucked at football, it was absolutely his favorite sport ever. He used to always tell his mom when he was little that he was going to marry a football player one day.

“ManU, obviously. City didn’t stand a chance.”

“Figures, City really need to trade a few players out.” Harry spoke, looking at Zayn. In that moment, he knew that even though they’d gotten off to a rough start, he and Zayn were going to be friends.

“City will never be at the level that ManU is.” Harry looked away from Zayn, recognizing that voice instantly. There he was, Louis Tomlinson. And Harry was not okay with that.

“What the hell, Louis. Go away, no one wants you here.” Leigh-Anne spoke up fiercely.

“I just wanted to speak with Harry if that is okay.” Louis said, looking to Harry. Harry immediately looked away, dropping his gaze to his mostly empty tray of food.

“Why? So you can tell me what I was trying to tell you the entire time you were yelling at me? Yeah no fucking thank you.” Harry hadn’t met his gaze and the words he’d spat out were timid but Louis heard them all. He picked up his spoon, messing around with the chili that he hadn’t eaten yet.

“Shit, did I do that to your hand? I’m so sor-“

“Louis, he said he didn’t want to talk to you.” Zayn spoke with a finality that even freaked Harry out a little bit. Yeah, he and Zayn were definitely going to be friends.

Louis looked around the table sadly and then just walked away.

“Do you want to explain to me what just happened?” Perrie immediately said, turning to Harry.

“Well I was over at his house yesterday and he totally thought I was there to fool around with his little sister. He sort of yelled at me and literally threw me out of his house.” Harry shrugged as if it weren’t really a big deal and then it hit him. Perrie, Jade, and Jesy didn’t know about what had happened at his last house. Granted, no one knew.

“Yeah it was messed up. Lou cursed him out and I slapped him in the face. That was fun.” Leigh-Anne chuckled quietly. “Lottie was absolutely mortified.”

“Not to like, side with him or anything, but I could see why he did it.” Jade stated almost quietly. “I wish I could be there to protect my sisters.”

“I know, I miss my sisters.” Leigh-Anne said sadly and Harry wanted to comment that at least their sisters were alive. But he knew that’d bring the sad environment down too much and it wouldn’t bring her back to talk about it, so why bother?

“I’m just glad that I got to stick with my sisters and we all got adopted together. I can’t imagine what it’d be like…” Sadness seeped through Zayn but Harry was confused.

“Wait? You were in the system too?” Harry questioned.

“Yeah, our foster parents are the ones who adopted him.” Jade interjected. “They don’t even know that they’re dating.”

“Perrie!” Harry scolded as another bell rang and kids began rising from their seats and most likely heading back to their classrooms.

Perrie just shrugged. “It’s worth it. See you later!” And the two headed off together, hands finding each other instantly.

“They’re so cute, it is sickening.” Jade mumbled, picking up her tray. “C’mon.”

Harry followed with his own tray, seeing Leigh-Anne do the same. Once they were all finished with their trays, the three of them walked down the hallway, not really wanting to go back to class.

“Harry, you should seriously see if you can come over.” Jade said, hooking her arm through Harry’s and then hesitantly doing the same with Leigh-Anne’s arm. “You should come over too, if you want.”

“Sure, I’d love to.” Leigh-Anne replied, grinning widely and Harry was just happy that she got along with his best friends.

Soon the three of them separated and Harry was headed back to his class alone. He didn’t mind being alone though, it just happened. He already disliked his class though, it was cultural geography and they were about ready to start a huge project in which they needed to find a partner and it sounded really stressful. The teacher had said that they were picking partners next class so he really had no time to make friends or anything but that really wasn’t on his list of troubles at the moment anyways.

He went through the rest of the day, thanking god that he ended up with not a single class with Louis Tomlinson. And thankfully no other huge projects either, just a book to catch up on reading and some math stuff that he didn’t understand at all. But he had Jade to help him with that, so he wasn’t too stressed.

Once the final bell had rung, he pulled out his cell phone, ignoring the messages he had and pulled up Ed’s contact, calling him quickly.

“Hey mate, what’s up?” Ed answered cheerfully.

“Where are we meeting? To drive back to the Higgins?”

“The south parking lot. I’m headed there now so just look for me.”

They hung up after that, Harry too embarrassed to ask where the south parking lot was. Harry figured it wouldn’t be too hard to find. He figured he could just follow the crowd and they’d lead him to where he needed to be.

He was almost to the exit that most kids were leaving through when he was shoved to the ground. He looked behind him to see the guy with the puppy eyes blushing massively.

“I’m sorry! I lost my balance and fell into you. I swear I didn’t mean to make you fall.”

Harry took the hand that the guy had offered him and got up off of the ground. “It’s alright.”

They were walking in the same direction and it had officially become awkward. Harry was just about to say something to break the moment when the guy offered,

“I’m Liam.”

“Harry.” Harry replied, glancing over at the boy and noticing his sports uniform. “What do you play?”

“Football. I’m the forward.” He rubbed a hand over his shaven head, smiling proudly.

“Sweet! I love football.” Harry instantly brightened, the awkwardness sweeping away.

“You should have tried out for the team!” Liam’s eyes were on him brightly.

“Nah, I’m terrible at it, I just love watching it.” He shrugged lightly.

“The captain would have worked with you. He practiced with me every night for an entire month and I was moved off of the bench for the rest of the season. Our captain is so talented; I swear he’s going to make it pro. Playing for the Rovers is everyone’s dream, but I think he might actually make it.”

“Wow, I wish I could have been here to see you guys play. The season is over right?” Harry asked as he was lead out the doors to a parking lot, scanning for Ed while listening to Liam’s reply.

“Yeah, we have to wear our uniforms because we have a scrimmage tonight. You should come; it’s going to be fun. We won’t be actually playing against anyone but it’ll be good. I’ve got to go, but it’s at 6:30 if you want to show. See ya!”

Harry called out a goodbye and continued scanning over the parking lot. Finally his eyes landed on a patch of fiery red hair that could only belong to Ed. He quickly made his way over there and jumped in the back. Josh was already sitting in the front seat and Lou was already sitting on the driver’s side in the back, meaning they were still waiting on Leigh-Anne.

To his surprise, she walked out a few seconds later with Jade and a few others that he didn’t know by her side. He hadn’t realized that they’d hit it off so well but apparently they did. Jade waved as the two separated and Leigh-Anne jumped in the car, making Harry sit in the middle.

They car ride home was mostly silent, minus Passenger playing quietly in the background. Before he knew it, Ed was pulling up to the gates and putting in the password. It still amazed Harry that he ended up in a really well-off home; most homes were struggling to make it while this family had a StingRay. At that thought, Harry squirmed happily, remembering that he got to ride in one earlier this morning.

Ed parked the car in the driveway and everyone jumped out, running inside. Harry was just about to head inside when he glanced over and saw a woman struggling to carry in her groceries. Without even thinking about it, he was headed over there, slinging his backpack off.

“Would you like some help, ma’am?” Harry offered.

The woman looked at him and he instantly recognized those eyes. And he guessed that would make sense since she was parked in front of the big grey house. She smiled widely at him.

“Sure! What a nice young man!” She offered some bags to Harry and led the way into her home. “You’re the new Higgins kid right? I think Anne said your name was Harry?”

“Yeah, Harry Styles.” He confirmed, setting the bags on the island in the kitchen. “Do you have any more bags that you need help with?”

“No that was the last of them, thank you so much for your help. My name is Jay Tomlinson by the way. My daughter told me that you were charming, I can see that she was right.”

Harry laughed awkwardly, “Yeah, she’s a nice girl. Well-“

“I sincerely apologize for my son’s behavior towards you though. Louis has had a hard time with the men in his life treating us badly so he gets a bit overprotective sometimes.”

He wasn’t really sure how to respond but he was curious if Mrs. Higgins had gone back on her promise and told Jay anyway. “How did you know what happened?”

“Lottie called me at work to tell me.”

“Oh… Well I think I’m going to go ahead and head back.” He started to walk out but Mrs. Tomlinson stopped him.

“Harry wait,” She began digging through her purse as she talked. “Not very many people would come over and offer their help without even knowing me, I really appreciate that. So, here you go.” She’s pulled out 20 pounds and Harry was instantly shaking his head.

“No, no, I can’t accept that, Mrs. Tomlinson.”

“Please, call me Jay.” She smiled sweetly, extending the hand that held the money.

“I really can’t take your money. It wouldn’t be right. Thank you for the offer, but I have to head back now.”

“Well okay. Now I’m really worried, a teenage boy who helps people and refuses money!” They both laughed for a few seconds before she continued. “I guess you better get back. But just so you know, you are welcome here at any time.”

Harry mumbled thanks before heading out the door and back over to the Higgins’ home. Immediately upon stepping inside, Mrs. Higgins was on him.

“Harry! I saw you out there helping Jay! That was very nice of you.” She was smiling brightly, obviously very pleased with what she saw. “Would you like a brownie? I made some earlier for you kids; they have nuts in them though. You aren’t allergic are you?”

“No, a brownie sounds fantastic.” He grabbed one off of the plate, stuffing it in his mouth all in one bite. “I’m going to head upstairs if you don’t mind.”

“Oh sure, go on ahead.”

Harry bounded up the stairs quickly and flopped himself onto his bed, barely realizing that Ed was there, playing his guitar again. He was strumming some familiar tune but Harry wasn’t quite paying attention, he was just glad to be back at the Higgins’. Not that he didn’t love seeing Perrie and Jade, and hoping with all his might that Jesy would be at school tomorrow but he just needed a breather. It had hit him really hard that every person in his life had no idea of the things that had happened to him.

“You alright, Harry?” Ed asked, halting his strumming.

“Fine.” Harry had replied shortly, face not lifting from how is smashed into his bed spread.

“You sure? I am always here if you need me. We may have just met but I get it.” He’d began picking on the strings again, a light, airy melody that was instantly soothing to Harry.

“Yeah. Thanks though.” What he really wanted to say was, ‘do you understand though? Did your entire family die within the span of two days? Did you hold your mother’s hand as her heart stopped beating? Did you-‘

Abruptly, Harry got up and fled the room. He needed to be outside, it felt like he couldn’t get in a proper breath and he felt like a panic attack was coming on and he really couldn’t have the Higgins family seeing that. He took the steps two at a time, calling into the kitchen.

“Mrs. Higgins, is it alright if I go outside?” He was already at the door, barely hearing her confirmation as he shot out the front door. He remembered Lottie saying something about a park so he hoped if he walked around this gated community long enough he’ll find said park.

As he passed the big grey house, he held his breath. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to like the Tomlinson’s but Lottie was interested him in way he would never be able to return and Louis… he just didn’t want to see him. Thankfully, he was able to make it past their house without much trouble. But he did see a 2007 light blue Porsche out front that looked vaguely familiar, either way he shook it off and kept walking.

He’d passed the spot where the Volvo had stopped him and he officially met all of his foster siblings, and was just about to give up and turn around when the playground came into view. He rushed towards the two swings, feeling only a little foolish at being excited over swings.

It was as close as he could feel to flying. As he ventured higher in the air and the wind blew through his curls, he thought about his mom. He wasn’t sure if he believed in heaven but he believed with everything that he had that his mom was an angel. He felt closer to her, like he could feel how it felt to fly like he knew that she did. He remembers when he was little, he and Gemma used to have competitions to see who could swing the highest. It hurt to think that the swing next to him was empty; swaying a little with the breeze that Harry was creating. She would always beat him because she was taller, would she still be taller? Harry would never know. Tuesdays were always Harry’s favorite; they were the days that Robin would pick him up from school. Robin had been in his life for so long, why had he never told him that he’d thought about calling him dad? Robin was his dad. Fuck Des. Harry wondered where Des was. Was he out there having a fun, childless, Harry-less life?

Harry’s eyes were closed as a single tear escaped, that was all he was going to allow himself. This was a public place, he couldn’t cry in public. Eventually, he slowed down his swinging to just a gentle kick of his feet. He didn’t hear the person approaching him.

There was a hand on his shoulder and he was instantly holding his head in his hands, shielding himself from the person out to hurt him. He used to gasp or yelp but he learned that that only made him get hit harder.

“Whoa, sorry for scaring you, I don’t mean to keep making you jump.” It was Louis.

“Why are you here?” Harry had removed his hands from his head but he didn’t meet Louis’ eyes.

“I need to apologize. Please let me explain.” Louis was literally begging. Harry couldn’t see his eyes but he would bet money that they looked beautiful. Nevertheless, he was angry at Louis

“Why should I let you talk? You didn’t let me talk. I was trying so hard to tell you that I have no intentions with your sister. At all. Ever. She’s a nice girl but she’s too young and not my type.” Even with as angry as Harry was, he was still timid with telling Louis this.

“I know, and believe me I am sooooo sorry. Like please, you have to understand. I was angry because my coach told me that no real football club is going to willingly sign a gay player and my sister means the world to me, I was just trying to make sure that she was okay. I know that isn’t an excuse, I should not have spoken to you that way.”

Instantly Harry was taken back to earlier when Mrs. Tomlinson had said something about Louis and the men in his life. And then it hit Harry that he could relate. Not with Robin but with Des and sure as hell with his other foster parents.

“It’s okay.” He still couldn’t find it in himself to look up at Louis, even as he felt Louis sit in the swing next to his.

“And I’m really sorry about your hand.” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand from where it was twisted with his other hand in his lap, and holding it with both of his hands. “I really should not have pushed you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear.”

“It really is alright.” Harry said, finally looking up at Louis, meeting his big blue eyes with his green ones. “I get it.”

Louis let go of his hand, pushing himself on the swing. “I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

There were a few seconds of silence before Harry remembered, “Wait, you’re gay?”

“Yeah.” He looked away from Harry and up to the sky.

“I am-“

“But like fuck what my coach thinks, ya know? Like being gay doesn’t change how I play football.” He seemed to finally realize that he’d interrupted Harry. “Oh shit, I’m sorry; I seriously suck at not interrupting people. What were you going to say?”

“I am looking forward to seeing you pro.” Harry covered, not really wanting to steal Louis’ moment.

“Thanks. Hey you should come to the scrimmage tonight! I may not be able to play since I’ve skipped the last two practices in my rebellion against a homophobic coach, but it’s still going to be awesome.”

“Liam actually invited me too.” Harry laughed quietly. “The others haven’t really said much about it though, so I don’t think I have a ride.”

“Come with me then!” Louis looked overjoyed. “That is if you want to.”

Harry stood up from the swing, “I’ll have to go ask what Mrs. Higgins thinks. I would love to though; football is my favorite sport ever.”

“Good lad.” Louis spoke, getting up as well.

Harry laughed as the pair began walking towards their houses. Well, Louis’ house and Harry’s temporary home. Even after realizing that he could relate to Louis and had basically forgiven him, Harry wouldn’t consider himself Louis’ friend. Even if conversation flowed easily between them, Harry wasn’t Louis’ friend, he couldn’t quite trust Louis. But he wasn’t going to keep ignoring him even if he wanted to.

The walk back went by quickly, Louis talking a mile a minute. This guy really was animated. He was passionate about things and Harry liked that. Passion was a great thing to have, a thing that the people Harry was usually around didn’t have. Flamboyant would also be a good word to describe Louis, he was definitely loud and colorful.

“Hey,” Louis said suddenly as they had reached the Higgins’ driveway. “Are you still mad at me? Cause you’ve barely said a word.”

“No, I’m not still mad. I just, I’m just complicated.” He admitted, cheeks going red.

Louis just smiled at him, “Go ask Anne about tonight. Let me know the verdict.”

Harry started walking towards the house when Louis called him back over,

“I’ll figure you out, Harry Styles, mark my words.” And with that he ran back to his big grey house.


	4. Sketchy Happenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay y'all! Here is another chapter! Sorry it's kinda short, I just love leaving cliff hangers bc I'm heartless. Also sorry that these chapters have been kinda boring, kinda filler-y but the next chapter will be a bit more exciting. Usually my fics (and even this one as hard as I try) are very fast paced so I'm trying to take this one a bit slower.
> 
> Please comment, leave kudos, bookmark! I'm pathetically desperate to know if you readers care about this. (Also massive shout out to the person who sent me a message on Tumblr, I seriously love you and would gift you with this chapter if I knew your username on here!!)
> 
> Drop by my [Tumblr](http://larryismyotpuniverse.tumblr.com/) if you feel like it!   
> Lots of love!  
> -B

Harry went into the Higgins’ house not really understanding what had just happened. It had started off as a walk to clear his head and then he ended up making up with the guy who had thrown him out of his house. But hearing some of the back story did make Harry ease up on Louis. He could understand not being able to trust men. After Des left, Harry had a hard time trusting men, even Robin for a while.

With all of that out of the way, he really wanted to go to this game with Louis. Well, technically it was a scrimmage, but still. He couldn’t deny that the boy was gorgeous, on top of that he was a footie player and openly gay. Harry was smitten.

“Mrs. Higgins?” Harry called, not seeing her in the kitchen or the living room. He went up the stairs, planning on going to her and Paul’s room but stopped at Leigh-Anne’s room, seeing her in there with her. “Mrs. Higgins?” He repeated.

“So you need to put yourself out there with boys-the right ones of course.” Mrs. Higgins finished her talk with Leigh-Anne and looked up to Harry. “Sorry dear, what’s up?”

“Can I go to a scrimmage tonight?” Harry asked, feeling kind of guilty seeing Leigh-Anne’s face fall out of the corner of his eye.

“Who are you going with and when will you be getting home?”

“Friends.” Harry was just going to say Louis but Leigh-Anne would no doubt have a problem with that and he really didn’t want to deal with that at the moment. “And I should be home by 9.”

Mrs. Higgins thought for a moment before nodding her head. “Sure you may go. But you need to be mindful of your homework, I’m sure you’ve got quite a bit of it.”

“Thanks! I’ve got the homework under control though.” Harry smiled widely.

“Alright well, I’m going to head down and clean up. Paul is bringing home pizza tonight.” With that, she left the room.

“Harry! I got the home number for Jade’s place and was planning on going over there, but now since you’re not going, I guess I won’t either…”

“What? You can go over there without me. You guys seemed to hit it off really well. It’s weird actually cause Jade never invited school friends over when I was staying with her. So she must really want to hang out.”

“Weird?!” Her face took on a darkness that honestly scared Harry a little. “We connected like normal friends, Harry! Nothing is weird about this! Just go, Harry. Go.”

He left her room, jumping harshly when her door slammed shut behind him. “Fuck.” He muttered under his breath and stalked to his and Ed’s room as his phone started to ring.

“Hello?” It was a Cheshire number? He really wasn’t sure what to expect.

“Hey, this is Harry, right?” It was a familiar female voice.

“Yes, and this is…?”

“It’s Hayley, your old neighbor! Olly gave me your number, I hope you don’t mind-“

“Hayley Williams?” Harry stuttered out, utterly confused. They were barely even friends. Why was she calling him?

“Yeah, I just, I wanted to say hi.”

“Hi.” A few moments of awkward silence before Harry couldn’t take it. “I’ve got homework so…”

“Right, well we miss you. Don’t be a stranger. Oh and happy early birthday.”

“Thanks…see ya.”

“Old girlfriend?” Ed asked, concentrated on other things mostly.

“Nah, I’m not into girls. That was one of my old neighbors.”

“Oh, it’s nice to keep in contact with people. I didn’t have very many friends from before I was put into the system. But what was that all about with Leigh-Anne?” Ed asked, looking up from the maths book that was open on his lap.

“I don’t know, she just kinda started yelling after I said that Jade and she hit it off really well.”

“Eh. She gets like that sometimes. Don’t stress over it.” Ed went back to his homework.

Harry had plopped on his bed in silence for a few minutes before Harry had to ask, “Do you think she’ll be pissed at me for long?”

“Nah, she gets over things quickly. And speaking of that, I saw you out there with Louis. You guys good now?”

“Mostly, yeah.” Harry unlocked his phone to see that someone had messaged him on Facebook. Great. He really didn’t even know why he bothered with stupid social media anymore.

“Mostly?” Ed began, putting his notebook away and getting out his own phone.

“Well like, I don’t really trust him, and I wouldn’t call us friends but like, I’m going to his game tonight.”

“Dude, that’s confusing as fuck.” Ed commented. “You have the hots for him don’t you?”

“No!” He immediately denied, cheeks flushing deeply.

“Can’t deny it mate, it’s all over your face. Reminds me of when I first met Leigh-Anne.”

“Wait, what the fuck, ew Ed, Leigh-Anne?”

“The heart wants what the heart wants.” He shrugged. “It’s alright though, she shot me down the second I showed interest.”

“That’s just… weird. You’re like siblings!” Harry honestly couldn’t believe this family.

“We are now. Not when she first got here three years ago.”Again he just shrugged.

“So you were the first one here beside Josh?” Harry couldn’t help but ask. He knew that it was against the code of foster kids to ask these kinds of questions but he figured the Higgins were different.

“Yup. I was here 5 years ago, adopted for 4 and a half. Then Leigh-Anne 3 years ago and Lou a year or so ago. All of us were adopted within like 6 months of being here.”

“Wow.” Harry couldn’t help but wonder where he’d be in 6 months.

A silence settled over them as Harry started pulling out his homework. He had quite a bit but he honestly wasn’t too worried about it. School is all he had anymore really. He knew if the accident never happened, he’d be at home right now, with his mom scolding him for his bad habit of procrastination and Gemma would be finishing up her first year of college. He felt like doing well in school, getting into ManU, that was how he could maybe, live out his life how it was supposed to go.

So he concentrated fully for nearly two hours, getting quite a bit done. He only decided to give himself a break because Ed was jumping up saying, “Dad’s home, he brought pizza home!” Harry headed down after Ed, stomach grumbling.

“Josh! Set out the plates please!” Mrs. Higgins yelled over the mess that was five hungry teenagers in a dining room. He mumbled some words that Harry didn’t really hear but Harry really didn’t know how to feel about Josh yet. He just wasn’t sure how the guy felt about him.

“Lou, could you get the door for your dad?” Mrs. Higgins yelled again, not with any malice or anger. Lou hopped up from where she sat at the dinner table, eager to actually listen to her mom. Like how could Paul and Mrs. Higgins take people who are so damaged from a terrible system and just…repair them? Well they’ve met their match. Harry Styles.

“Who’s hungry?” Paul came in, still in his suit, pizzas in hand.

There were choruses of ‘me’ and just general agreements. Harry stayed silent. As much as he really liked (yet at the same time disliked) this home, he wasn’t comfortable enough to just…be. As he took himself a slice, he still felt self conscious, that he’d be scolded for something. It didn’t really hurt all that much when no one made conversation with him. He was just finishing his second piece when he glanced at the clock and he was up.

“Where are you rushing off to, Harry? Meet a pretty girl already?” Paul asked, ghost of a chuckle.

“No, I’m ga-“

“Daddy!” Leigh-Anne interrupted, discreetly shooting Harry a look. “He’s going to the scrimmage tonight. He was supposed to be going somewhere with me, but you know.”

“He’ll have to make it up to you later, huh Harry?” Paul asked, now looking back at Harry sternly.

“Of course, absolutely. Is it alright if I leave now or-“

“Go on, Harry. There will be leftovers if you’re still hungry when you come home.” Mrs. Higgins called as Harry opened the door.

“Be home by 10!” Paul yelled out to Harry. He yelled back an affirmative before closing the door and rushing over to Louis’ house.

Of course, it was his luck that Lottie would be the one to answer. “Hey, Harry! I’m so glad you came by! Did you want to head up to my room or?”

“Um, I’m actually here to see Louis.” Harry turned so awkward when women, especially those younger than him, showed interest in him. It really wasn’t meant to be anything against Lottie.

“O-oh. Okay well um he’s, he’s. Oh, he’s right here. One sec.” She raced off right as Louis appeared at the door.

“Hey!” He said brightly.

“Um, did I upset her?” Harry asked, flushing deeply.

“What? Oh nah, she’s fine. You ready to go?” Louis stepped out and Harry realized that he was all suited up in his football uniform, bag thrown over his shoulder. Harry’s breath caught in his throat. God, Louis looked so good; he could just imagine how the boy would look covered in sweat and grass stains…

“Harry?” Louis questioned, looking at Harry knowingly.

“Yes, what?” Harry cleared his throat, looking back up to Louis’ eyes.

“You ready?” He was smirking but Harry was so embarrassed. Not that he was attracted to a guy but that he was so obvious about it. Could he not be a little smoother?

“Oh yeah. Sorry, let’s just, yeah.” Dammit, Harry. Get your shit together.

They both walked down the little stone path and Harry really should have seen it coming but when Louis unlocked the doors of the Porsche, Harry nearly shit himself. “This is your car?”

“Yeah.” He said casually. “Getting kinda old though, may need to trade it in for a newer model.”

Harry didn’t believe it. One day he’s scrounging around to find something to eat and the next he’s riding in Corvettes and Porsches. It’s official. His life is bipolar and it needs to stop. Well, Harry looked over to Louis who was now seated in the driver’s seat and maybe it might just be okay.

“Get in, Curly.” Louis smirked, turning the car on. “But just don’t piss on my seats.”

Harry flushed and got in. The ride to the school was pretty silent. They mainly just sat there stealing glances at each other, Harry flushing when he got caught, Louis just smiling. It was kind of weird for Harry honestly. He’d never felt the weird feelings he had when he was around Louis and he didn’t know what to do about it. All he knew was that he liked it a lot.

“So,” Louis said when they’d parked at the school. “I have to go to the locker room. But I’ll meet you after, yeah?”

Harry just nodded and headed to the stadium. He was having a bit of nerves due to the fact that he had no idea where he was going to sit. None of his friends were going to be there. So, he ended up choosing the least occupied bench that he could find.

As the players started running onto the field, Harry felt the bench dip beside him. He looked over and it was none other than Zayn.

“Nacho?” Zayn asked quietly, passing over his container of nachos to Harry. Harry took the smallest one he could find and dipped it in the cheese. As he quietly chewed, Zayn spoke up. “Listen, I’m sorry about freaking out on you with the whole Perrie thing, I just-“

The crowd roared as the players took their spots. Louis was on the field, right next to Liam. Harry watched on, biting the skin of one of his fingers as the refs blew the starting whistle.

“I get it.” Harry said once the starting excitement was over. “She’s a catch. Any guy would be lucky to have her.”

“Yeah and she really loves you. When she first came to live with us, all she could talk about was ‘Harry loves football too’ or ‘those look like the skinny jeans Harry used to wear’ and I just assumed, you know?”

“Yeah. We just bonded-“

Again cheers from the crowd interrupted their conversation, Harry jumping animatedly as Louis scored a goal. Granted, this was all mainly just to show the team’s progress over the season/year but Harry was still happy for him. When he’d settled back into his seat, he continued.

“Our backgrounds are kind of similar so we just get each other. Trust me, I am completely and totally gay. Not to mention, interested in someone of my own. Maybe. Kinda. I don’t know. But I do know that even if I weren’t gay, I have enough respect for you and Pez to not try to do anything.”

“Cool.” Zayn nodded and Harry could tell he’d just gained a lot of respect from Zayn. “So we’re cool, then?”

“Yeah.” They did the ‘bro’ handshake and went back to watching the game in peace.

Well maybe not peace. Harry was just naturally loud and unabashed when it came to football. So every time someone scored, Harry was yelling and cheering. It was kind of nice. It reminded him of home. As a sort of bonding time, occasionally Robin would take Harry to games and it was one of Harry’s favorite memories of him. He really did miss his stepdad. He was so good to his mom and Gemma and he never left. Well, he did but. They all left him.

Soon the game was over and Harry was dragging Zayn onto the field to congratulate the players and be the cheerleader that he was on the inside. Harry was looking for Louis but he was in the middle of the crowd of people but he did find Liam.

“Harry, hey you made it!” Liam came jogging towards the two of them. “What do you think of the captain, huh? Pretty talented, yeah?” Liam was a bit out of breath and he was completely gross but he was just so kind. Harry liked him. But not in that way because no.

“Yeah um, he’s actually my neighbor.” Harry’s cheeks were dusted a light pink for no bloody reason at all. “Oh, um, Liam, this is Zayn. Zayn, Liam.”

“We know each other. Had a few classes together over the years.” Liam smiled over at Zayn. Zayn smiled back politely, adjusting the beanie on his head.

“Hey Liam, who are they?” A blond boy came over asking, part of the team as well. Harry recognized him as the goalie. The lad was bouncing with happiness.

“Oh yeah, Niall, this is Zayn and Harry. Zayn, Harry,” Liam motioned between the two. “This is my best friend, Niall.”

Zayn mumbled something under his breath but Harry didn’t catch it as he smiled at Niall.

“Harry!” Louis was running towards them, smiling widely. He looked even better than Harry thought he would all mucked up from the football game.

“I thought I told you to leave him alone, Louis.” Zayn nearly growled. Everyone in the circle of five gasped. Louis looked to Harry frantically.

“Oh, uh, we made up. It’s all good. Don’t worry, Zayn. But thank you though.” Harry’s cheeks just would not go back to the pale that they were supposed to be.

Zayn backed off a bit but it was obvious that he was still unsure of Louis.

“That was tense.” Niall said, flinging an arm around Liam’s shoulders casually. “Li, let’s get out of here. I need a shower.”

As the two left, Harry thought that it was a little odd that Niall wanted Liam to go with him. But then Louis distracted him. Louis was just smiling at him and Harry stopped being able to think properly.

“Well Harry, mom’s here. Do you need a ride?” Zayn asked, looking at his phone.

“He’s riding with me.” Louis was firm but not in a confrontational type of way.

“You sure, Harry?” Zayn looked to Harry.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Harry muttered quietly. He wasn’t sure how he felt about all of this attention.

Zayn left and soon it was just the two of them. Harry didn’t really know what to say so for the first few moments, it was complete awkward silence. He felt like saying a million different things to Louis, like ‘nice job out there’ or ‘you are a really good captain’ or ‘you look really good in those shorts’ but instead he stood there rocking back and forth on his heels.

“Wow, alright, enough of the awkward silence.” Louis broke. “I’ve got to go shower and change and stuff and then I’ll be out and we can go.”

“Okay…do you want me to um, wait by your car or…?” Harry asked, cheeks flushing.

“Uh, yeah or you could just wait outside the locker room for me.” Louis shrugged, trying to seem confident.

“Okay.” The pair made their way to the locker room slowly. A lot of people wanted to stop and talk to the captain.

Eventually they did make it though and Louis left Harry at the door. Harry reverted back to his completely awkward self and leaned against the wall, watching guys gradually come out of the locker room. He should’ve known that trouble would find him though, it always did.

“That bitch was all up on me, I was like sluuut-oh hey, you’re that new kid, right?” Two guys emerging from the locker room asked.

“Yeah.” Harry answered.

“Yeah, this is Tomlinson’s new fuck toy. Fucking faggot knows how to get some-or give some. Tell us kid, is he the bitch? I bet so, he’s got the ass for it.”

“You look at his ass? There something you’re not telling everyone?” Harry shot back. He wasn’t about to let these stupid “tough-guy” punks get to him but he just had to say it.

“What the fuck are you saying, that I’m fucking gay?” The guy stepped closer to him, up in his space. Now, Harry wasn’t the confrontational type of person but when it came to sexuality and defending himself in these situations, he stood firm. No fear.

“You act like I just insulted you or something.” Harry shrugged.

“You fucking-“

“Tom, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Louis stormed from the locker room, hurrying over and pushing the guy, apparently Tom, away from Harry. “Get out of here before I tell coach about this.”

Tom and the other guy stalked away, glaring over at Harry. They were probably trying to look threatening or intimidating but Harry smiled and waved. Fuck that, Harry didn’t believe in closets and he wasn’t about to start because of two guys that were insecure in their masculinity.

“You okay? I’m sorry about that.” Louis was definitely blushing.

“I’m fine. People are stupid, that’s not your fault and it’s not your responsibility to apologize for their actions.”

“Wow, you’re passionate about people picking fights with you.”

“Well I don’t tolerate homophobic people. I don’t acknowledge any of what they say honestly because calling me gay is not insulting me.”

“Wait, they were calling you gay, because of me? I’m sorr-“

“Louis.” Harry warned, smiling sideways at him.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?”

The two drove around for a little bit, Louis just talking more about himself. Harry learned that Louis loved The Fray, Grease the Musical, had a massive crush on David Beckham, and that he thought that Liam was weirdly like Justin Timberlake.

“Harry am I annoying you or summat? You haven’t said but two words.” Louis asked, pulling back into the gated community they lived in. He put in the password and then turned to continue to their houses.

“No. I just. I don’t really- I told you, I’m just complicated. Plus I like hearing you talk…sorry if that was weird, oh god.” Harry wanted to kick himself. Why did he always turn into this giant ball of stupid when Louis was around?

“Not weird, that’s actually one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me.” Louis blushed as did Harry and they both sat there red faced as Louis parked in front of the big grey house. “So I had a really nice time tonight.”

“I’m pretty sure you stole that line directly from a cheesy rom com. We aren’t on a date, Tomlinson. Don’t expect a kiss goodnight.” Harry joked, laughing lightly.

“Shut up! I just meant that I like hanging out with you. Even though the most you’ve said to me tonight was to make fun of me.” Louis faked hurt. “And really, what if I was really looking forward to that goodnight kiss, Harold? You just crushed my hopes and dreams.”

“First of all, it’s just Harry, not Harold-“

“Oh pshhah. I’m still calling you Harold.”

“Fine, Lewis.” Harry shot back, loving this easy banter he had with Louis.

“Touché.”

“Second, just cause your dreams don’t work the first time doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t keep trying.” Harry smirked at Louis before moving on so that he’d have the last word of their banter. “I’ve really got to go though.”

“I really can’t stay!” Louis belted out.

“But baby, it’s cold outside!” Harry joined in before jumping out of the sexy car.

Louis got out too, quickly meeting Harry on his side of the car. “Seriously though, thanks for coming with me tonight, especially after I was a jerk to you. Also thanks for talking with me and stuff. I hope you know that we’re friends now. I added you on facebook, it’s official. You can’t crush my other hopes and dreams tonight so just accept it.” Louis was grinning and Harry really liked when his eyes got all crinkly.

“You’ll just have to wait and see. “ Harry smiled back.

“You have dimples.” Louis observed.

“Yes.” Harry laughed. “But you’re welcome though. I mean, I get it and yeah.”

They both stood there looking at each other for a few moments of silence. Harry had no idea what they were waiting for but he could stand there forever with Louis. In like a non creeper way. But he should probably seriously get home soon. Well to the Higgins’ home.

“Well I should get going…” Harry trailed off, lingering even still.

“Yeah, probably…” Louis also stalled, not wanting the moment to be over. “Well, I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Yeah. Um, bye, Louis.” They smiled at each other for half a second longer before Harry turned and ran towards the front door. “I’m home.” He called out.

“Hey sweetheart! How was the game?” Mrs. Higgins called from the living room.

“It was good, the team here is pretty talented.” Harry said before going up to his and Ed’s room.

The light was off so Harry assumed Ed wasn’t in there. He flipped the light on and went over to his back pack to continue working on his homework. He was done with catching up (he was a fast worker) but he wanted to make revisions and correct things. Call him a nerd but it’s all he had going for him.

He sat down on his bed, sighing deeply. Opening his English book, he concentrated on rereading.

“Harry,” A soft voice said from across the room.

“Shit! What the fuck?!” Harry jumped, causing his books to fall on the ground. He looked up, hand over his rapidly beating heart. “Shit, Leigh-Anne you scared the shit out of me. Why were you sitting here in the dark?”

“I was thinking.” Leigh-Anne shrugged as if it weren’t actually super creepy. “I think best if my eyes aren’t distracted.”

“Okay…why are you thinking on Ed’s bed?” Harry’s brow was furrowed in confusion.

“I just like to be places where I won’t be distracted at all. My room is filled with stuff that will distract me.”

“Okay. Well um, do you want me to leave so you can finish thinking?” He wasn’t sure if she was still mad at him. Not to mention that this was so weird to Harry but he wouldn’t admit that out loud. Foster kids cope in the best ways that they find. Technically, Harry’s coping mechanism was to crawl under beds and cry in the fetal position which wasn’t really normal and probably even more weird than Leigh-Anne’s ‘thinking in the dark’ thing.

“No, it’s fine.” Leigh-Anne flopped back on Ed’s bed, eyes closed.

“Okay…” Harry picked up the book that had fallen to the floor and looked back to it, feeling the tension in the air. He was just about to ask her what was wrong when she spoke up.

“Harry, I need to talk to you.”


	5. Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so I am soo sorry about the wait for the update! So as a way to sort of make it up to y'all, I made this one a little longer than the others are. I was going to make it longer, but I wanted it to be up as soon as possible. 
> 
> Also! Plot development!! Yay!! Also technically there's a tiny bit of smut so ;) I hope you readers like this chapter! If you have any questions or criticisms or whatever it may be you can always comment or message [my tumblr](http://larryismyotpuniverse.tumblr.com/) ! 
> 
> ((Also huge shout out to [obviousleighh on tumblr](http://obviousleighh.tumblr.com/) for messaging me about this fic and giving me tons of inspiration and [this lovely lady](http://stylinsmutreblog.tumblr.com/) for just being amazing and I love her and you should too))
> 
> Until next time!

“Okay, um what’s up?” Harry felt like it was going to be about how angry she was with him earlier, something he still didn’t understand. He had to tread waters carefully so as to not upset her even further.

“I’m not really sure how to…” She was obviously nervous and the way she was acting kind of concerned Harry.

“Um, would you rather go to Mrs. Higgins or Paul? I mean if you aren’t comfortable with me. I’ll listen no matter what is bothering you though, just so you know.” He hoped that sounded supportive because he may not have known her for a long time, but he was a people pleaser by birth. He wanted people to be happy and if he could help with that, then he would, no question.

“No, it’s…about you. And your…preferences.”

“You mean me being gay?” Harry asked, genuinely intrigued. What did that have to do with anything? Especially her?

“Yeah that.” Leigh-Anne was not looking at him and Harry knew that the conversation that was about to follow would probably not be peachy.

“What about it?”

“Um…look this is going to sound…I don’t know, um.”

“Leigh-Anne, you don’t have to be so awkward, it’s just a thing about me. It’s not a big deal.” He explained, moving to sit next to her on Ed’s bed.

“But it is, Harry. It is a big deal. It’s a huge deal. Mom and Dad won’t allow this; I’m telling you that now.” She finally looked up at him with a fire in her eyes.

“How do you know that? Some people can surpr-“

“I just do.” She snapped at him. “You can’t tell them about this. I’m just trying to help you.”

“I’m not hiding who I am.” He said firmly. There was no room for compromise.

“Look Harry,” She stood up and headed to the door, stopping just before actually leaving. “We were all lucky to find a home like the Higgins’. Are you really ready to throw all of this away?”

When she left, Harry crawled under the bed and curled up. He didn’t cry. He just hurt. He remembered back home he’d never even “came out”, he didn’t have to. As a kid, he always said, ‘Mommy, that boy is pretty’ or ‘Look, Gem, it’s the boy with the nice eyes’. They both would just smile and reply with something like, ‘Yes he is a cute boy.’ They just accepted. He didn’t even understand that it was “different” until about fifth grade when he asked Troy Michaels to be his boyfriend and everyone laughed at him. He’d gone home crying and his mom had to sit him down and explain that some people didn’t understand. Some people weren’t accepting. She’d ended her little talk with saying that she loved him no matter who he loved.

Gemma had been the absolute best about it, especially as they got older. Just a week before the accident, she and Harry had gone to the mall and Gemma would whisper every once in a while, ‘Cute guy, 3 o’clock.’ And either he’d scoff at some of her horrible taste in men or they’d silently check him out muttering, ‘ooh look at that booty’ or ‘those biceps though’. Plus they went into Victoria’s Secret once and she didn’t even bat an eye when Harry picked up a pair of lacey dark purple panties. She even bought a few pairs for him. He actually still has them somewhere.

Robin was the worst. Not in a homophobic way but in a constantly trying to set him up on dates kind of way. It was actually hilarious. Harry remembered one night, the four of them were sitting at dinner (one of the first they’d had) and Robin’d said, ‘Harry, my boss’s daughter is single and around your age. You interested?’ Immediately his mom and sister laughed and Harry just smiled, ‘Um no actually. I’m gay.’ Not a second later Robin had said, ‘Well good thing she has a twin brother.’

Harry missed them. God, he missed them so much. He should have hugged them more. Should have said ‘I love you’ more. He should have been in that car. Harry gasped, heart wrenching. He knew that that was just a thought he had had every once in a while, he was remotely happy that his life hadn’t ended in that accident. If it had, he wouldn’t have met Perrie, or Jade or Jesy or Jude. He briefly wondered how Jude was doing. Harry sent a silent prayer up to the burning gases and empty universe.

He also wouldn’t have met the hardest working mother he’d ever seen (next to his own mother of course). He also wouldn’t have met Paul. Or Josh (which, did that kid ever talk?) or Lou or Leigh-Anne or Ed. Or Louis. Or Zayn. Alright, so basically he was grateful for living through that.

The funny thing to Harry was that he’d been at this home for three days and he felt this weird sense of normalcy that he hadn’t felt since his family had been alive. He thought he’d never have stability again but in the span of three days he had grown to care about these people. Maybe not as his own family but as people in his life.

Harry’s thoughts were interrupted by Ed walking back into the room, flicking the light off, and flopping onto his bed. He thanked his (not so) lucky stars that he’d turned the light off, otherwise Harry would be stuck under his bed until Ed had fallen asleep. So, quickly as possible, Harry crawled out from under the bed and out into the hallway. With as clumsy as he normally is, Harry was surprised and extremely pleased with himself that he’d made it to the bathroom without being noticed. He waited a solid two minutes in the bathroom before flushing the toilet, washing his hands, and heading back into the shared room as if he’d been gone the whole time.

“Where’ve you been?” Ed asked tiredly as Harry stripped to his boxers before knocking everything off of his bed and climbing in.

“Leigh-Anne’s room.” Harry tried. There was no way in hell that Harry was admitting to being under his bed, hiding from life. “We’d had a spat and all that.”

“Oh.” Is all Ed said. If he knew Harry was lying, he didn’t call him on it.

He was tired. It’d been a long, emotional day. Even still, he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Leigh-Anne had said. He didn’t want the Higgins to kick him out. It had only been three days, which would look terrible on his record. Plus you know, he might kinda like it here. But that was the secondary reason. The small reason.

“Ed?” Harry asked into the darkness. He wasn’t even sure Ed was still up, the boy seemed pretty zonked.

“Yeah?” His voice was muffled, probably by a pillow.

“If the Higgins said that before they’d adopt you, you had to dye your hair because they didn’t like gingers, would you do it?”

“In a heartbeat.” He said immediately. “Why?”

“Oh um,” He stalled a moment by faking a horrible cough. “One of my other foster homes made one of the kids there shave their head because they were superstitious about gingers. It just got me thinking is all.”

“You need sleep, Harry. That was random as fuck.” Ed laughed. He bought it and Harry was so proud of himself, he was usually a shit liar.

Before he went to bed, Harry checked Facebook. He went through all of his other notifications before clicking on the friend request from Louis. Tonight with Louis had been a lot of fun but Harry wasn’t really sure if he trusted the guy still. Or that he would even call them friends. The term didn’t seem right for them. But hey, he couldn’t crush the lad’s hopes and dreams again, so he clicked confirm. Plus, friends on Facebook didn’t equal friends in real life.

Eventually, after totally not stalking Louis’ profile, Ed began bitching at Harry about the light of his phone, so he locked his phone and settled in for a much needed sleep.

-

Mrs. Higgins was rapping on the door again way too fucking early but Harry pulled himself from bed anyway. Again reminding himself that he didn’t have his guard up when he was asleep. He needed a nice, long, too hot shower anyway. He really was surprised that Lou wasn’t in there yet, which meant he’d have to hurry before she demanded he get his arse moving.

Harry gathered the things he needed and headed to the bathroom, feeling his nipples harden at the chilly air of the house. Quickly as possible, Harry got the shower ready and jumped in. He’d kinda forgot about the whole ‘long’ part of the shower and rushed through washing himself. When he’d finished and Lou wasn’t at the door yet, Harry truly began to relax. The hot water beat down on his tense shoulders and Harry had a hand around his dick before he even realized it. He even gasped in surprise.

It had been far too fucking long since Harry had a nice wank. Showers were really his only time to do so since he was always sharing a room with someone. (Although once he said fuck it and wanked with his roommates in the room, he may or may not have gotten excited at the thought that they could have woken up and saw what he was doing).

He slid his hand up and down his thickening shaft, eyes closing so he could imagine that his only semi-serious ex-boyfriend, Matthew Lush, was the one behind him. He imagined that Matt was the one who’s hand was speeding up on his dick. In reality, they hadn’t done anything sexual, Matt wasn’t ready and Harry respected that. They broke up after six months but it didn’t stop Harry from imagining doing this with someone he could have loved.

Harry imagined that he could feel Matt’s wet body, hard cock, pressed up against his back. His other hand trailed behind him so he could rub at the most sensitive part of his body, letting out a gasp.

“Harry, I need to do my hair!” Lou yelled from outside the bathroom door.

“Just a sec,” God Harry sounded fucking weird.

Knowing that he was pinched for time, Harry went crazy. One hand worked furiously up and down his shaft, squeezing at the tip in the way that drove him a bit mad. The other hand rubbed aggressively at his clenching hole, resisting from actually fingering himself since he honestly didn’t have time. Harry imagined getting fucked, that the friction he got on his hole was a dick driving repeatedly into him, slamming into his prostate. The muscles in Harry’s arms were getting tired, especially in his left hand, the one that wasn’t his usual wank hand. But he worked himself through the pain because he was getting close. He slipped his middle finger in, just the small bit until the first knuckle but it was enough to make him clench and come all over himself.

“L-L-Fuck me!” He yelled just a bit too loud, but in his state of orgasmic bliss, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Harry rinsed himself off in a haze before turning off the shower and stepping out into the beautiful steamy room. He knew if his hair were just a bit drier, it’d be curling even more than normal because of the steam. After drying himself off, Harry got dressed and headed back to his shared room where Ed was still fast asleep. Lou glared at him, stealing the bathroom to do her hair. That girl was obsessed with hair.

The next thirty minutes passed in a blur and before Harry knew it, he was heading off to school. Before the accident, Harry hated getting up and going to school but now he loved it. Working on homework or classwork meant he didn’t have time to think about his life or be sad about everything. So it wasn’t really out of the ordinary that he was smiling so much that his dimples were out when they pulled into the school parking lot.

Harry got out of the car and heard a very high pitched scream and then he was being tackled.

“Harreh Edward Styles!”

“Jessica Louise Nelson!”

They squeezed each other tight, Jesy having tears streaming down her face. “I thought Perrie was just giving me shit when she said you’d transferred here! Harry, you look great. It has been far too long.”

“I know.” Harry sighed, finally letting go of the girl.

“So,” She said, linking her arm through Harry’s as the pair made their way inside the building. “Fill me in. How has your life been since we last saw each other?”

“Oh you know.” Harry made drastic hand gestures, being the dramatic person he is. “I swam a river, climbed a mountain, raced against time. The usual.”

“Dork,” Jesy laughed, hip checking him. “For real though, how have you been?”

“Eh. I’ve been okay. The home I’m in now is pretty nice. And they are the richest people I’ve ever seen in my life. Like, they have a fucking StingRay Corvette, Jessica.”

“I see you still feel the need to say fuck in every other sentence.” Jesy snorted.

“Yup. Fuck off.” Harry teased. “But seriously though, I can’t believe we all ended up together again. I thought we’d…”

“Never see each other again.” Jesy finished. The thing he loved about Jesy was that she was down for all the emotional, deep stuff. Not the Perrie and Jade weren’t, it was just different with Jesy. Harry had been telling her she needed to become a counselor or something. But then they would laugh because how the hell is a foster kid supposed to get money for college?

It was quiet for a few moments until Perrie and Zayn joined them, Perrie ranting on about her and Jade’s new foster sister.

“She’s such a bitch. Like I don’t try to judge people but the girl kept trying to tell me what to do and – “

“Harry?” It was soft spoken but he immediately knew who it was.

“One sec guys,” Harry excused himself from the group, ignoring the odd look Perrie was throwing him.

“Hey, what’s up?” Harry asked Louis, walking away from them.

“Do you not want to talk to me in front of your friends?” Louis asked, odd look on his face.

“No, it’s not that.” Harry said, instantly feeling kind of bad. “I just kind of assumed you wanted to talk privately or-I’m sorry, I’m dumb –“

“No, you’re not dumb.” Louis interjected firmly and Harry was stunned into silence. “So um, anyway, Niall’s parents are going to be out of town tonight and he’s throwing a party and um, do you want to go? We could go together, like since we live next to each other.”

“Sure. Is it okay if I don’t drink though?”

“Totally! I mean, if you’re uncomfortable with the idea then you don’t have to, I just thought I’d offer.”

“No, it’s fine, I haven’t been to a party since – “ And then Harry abruptly stopped, realizing what he was about to say. “Long time. Haven’t been to a party in a long time.”

“Cool we – “ Louis was interrupted by the five minute bell going off.

“Harreh, c’mon!” Zayn said, beckoning Harry back so they could walk to class together.

“See you tonight.” Harry said, waving stupidly to Louis before running to catch up with Zayn. Before the pair turned the corner, Harry looked back to see Louis smiling back at him.

-

Harry and Niall ended up getting paired together for their cultural geography class which was actually a lot less awkward than Harry thought it’d be.

“So,” Niall said, typing things into the computer they’d been assigned to for looking things up about Nicaragua, the country they’d been assigned. “Louis told me he was planning on inviting you to my party tonight.”

“Yeah, he did.” Harry said, not looking up from the chart he was creating to organize the project.

“You coming?”

“Mhm.”

It was silent then, but it was a comfortable silence. Harry’d kind of expected Niall to be one of those who didn’t help with the project until the night before the due date, if at all. It seemed though that he’d completely misjudged the boy. While most other groups were messing around and not doing any true work, Niall and Harry both were laying the foundation of their project and it was then that Harry decided that he quite liked Niall.

“We should get to know each other.” Niall stated, pointing to a fact that he wanted Harry to take down for future reference. “That one, with the bold-yeah. Anyway, I mean, Louis isn’t the type to just invite someone to a party that he just met. You must be pretty special.”

Harry shrugged, blushing deeply. “I’m not that special.”

“Oh c’mon! Everyone is special. I’ll start, fun fact, I was born in Ireland.”

“Shocker!” Harry said dramatically, sharing a laugh with the lad. “I was born in Cheshire.”

“Oh yeah?” Niall asked casually, pointing to some cultural food that this website said is popular in Nicaragua. “Did you move cause of jobs or…?”

“Not quite.” And he said it with a finality that Niall heard and thankfully, he let it drop. “So you’re a pretty good goalie.” He says, mostly to stray from the personal topics.

“Meh. I only really made the team because Louis is Liam’s best friend and Liam’s my best friend so.” His cheeks grew red.

“You can’t fake talent.” Harry insisted.

“Please start shutting down your computers and putting them away.” The teacher said up front and it effectively ended the conversation they were having.

“Hey listen, we’ll probably have to get together at some point for this so do you want to exchange numbers?” Niall asked, closing the laptop.

“Sure.”

-

Back at the Higgins’ house, Harry realized he had a problem. His head snapped up from the homework he was working on, “Ed.”

“What’s up, bro?” Ed was strumming and writing, probably writing more on the song that he’d shown Harry the other day since it sounded vaguely familiar.

“So I was invited to this party tonight. How do I get around Mrs. Higgins and Paul finding out?”

“You sneak out.” Ed said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Just climb out the window, it’s not hard if you’re good with climbing trees. And you can text me when you get back so I can let you in. Leigh-Anne used to do it for me all the time.”

With that settled, Harry went back to working on the homework for his English class, more book reading and corresponding worksheets. He was deeply engrossed in his work when the vibration of his phone startled him out of his concentration.

‘Hey so I forgot to mention that Niall wants this to be a semi small party so is it okay if it’s just you and I? He just doesn’t want to get busted by the cops. Hope this doesn’t ruin your foster siblings’ plans :/’

It was Louis. Harry didn’t even remember ever giving the lad his number but whatever.

‘That’s fine. I didn’t invite anyone. When are we heading out?’

Louis’ reply came instantly. ‘Meet me by my mailbox at 9:30’

Harry sent back an affirmative and refocused on homework until dinner. Again, the family all met down in the dining room after Paul got home from work, Mrs. Higgins already having the table set. It still felt so weird, so foreign to Harry, this sense of total normalcy. This family was so much like his, yet completely different at the same time. He pushed those thought away though, he couldn’t have another freak out moment in front of everyone.

“Earth to Harry!” Josh spoke loudly, causing Harry to snap out of his train of thought. “Could you pass me the mash please?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” Quickly, he passed the bowl to Josh, blushing to the tips of his ears because suddenly everyone was looking at him.

“It’s okay.” Came a soft reply from Josh and then it was silent.

“So I’ve booked our hotel in L.A.” Paul said from the head of the table, which of course broke the weird tension hanging over the family and Harry.

Once dinner was over, Harry was in the kitchen helping Mrs. Higgins wash up the dishes, just the two of them. The rest of the family was elsewhere. Josh had went to visit his mom, Paul and Lou were watching TV. in the living room, Ed was singing his heart out upstairs and Leigh-Anne was outside on the phone. So it just left the two of them.

“You doing okay, Harry?” She asked, handing him a dish to put away in the cupboard.

“Yeah.”

“School’s going good then? Not too hard to catch up or anything?”

“Nah. I’ve already caught up.” He focused on putting up another dish instead of putting a lot of effort into the conversation. He liked Mrs. Higgins and probably trusted her on some surface level , against his instincts but he’s just not going to open up his soul to her at a moment’s notice.

“Alright,” She said, seeming to pick up on the fact that Harry was uncomfortable. “Well if you ever need anything, no matter what it is, you can come to me or Paul, you know. I know it’s a tough adjustment but we’re here for you and always will be, okay?”

“Thanks, Mrs. Higgins.” Harry said, accepting the hug she offered him before heading back upstairs to lay there until 9:30 rolled around.

It actually came a lot quicker than Harry was ready for. It wasn’t that Harry was necessarily opposed to drinking or even that he’d never gotten drunk before, but it always made him sad. When he saw people stumbling around, disoriented and stupid, he wondered if that was what Garrett Henson was like when he got into his car that night.

Harry pushed those thoughts from his mind and instead focuses on climbing down the tree that is right next to his and Ed’s window. He was a naturally clumsy person so of course, he fell the last three feet down the tree. He laid there for a few seconds just laughing at himself and hoping that Louis didn’t see that. Mostly he was glad that he didn’t actually hurt himself. Like, leave it to Harry to hurt himself on his first night of attempting to sneak out.

After a few more moments, he headed over to Louis’ mailbox and waited, just staring at the Porsche that’s parked in front of it. He heard Louis come out the front of his door, jogging over to him. He was wearing this huge smile and his eyes had gone all crinkly again, Harry bit his lip.

“Sorry I was late. I had to bribe Lottie into not telling mom.” He laughed and then Harry did too because wow.

They climbed into the car and started making their way to Niall’s house. Again, the car ride was mostly silent, minus the shit that Louis gave Harry for picking the ‘indie’ station on Louis’ radio. He was smiling though and Harry just stuck his tongue out. And then he felt really stupid and childish and he sat there mentally kicking himself until they arrive at Niall’s house.

His house was just a bit smaller than the Higgins’ or Louis’ house but it is breath taking. Harry’s mom would have loved the way the house was decorated. There was a cute little garden in the front, high privacy fencing encasing the back and a grand stair case, center of the room as you enter.

Louis was right about it being small. When they got there, the only people there were Niall, his older brother Greg and his girlfriend, Liam, and a few other guys from the football team. Thankfully not the two asshats that Harry had to deal with the previous night.

“The party has arrived!” Niall yelled when the two walk in, obviously already pretty toasty. He bustled over to them with two drinks in hand and when Niall offers Harry one, he decides, fuck it. He deserves a night of fun, no more sadness.

“He’s not going to drink.” Louis said when he saw Niall trying to hand off a red cup to Harry. Damn, Harry really appreciated that.

“No, it’s fine, I changed my mind.” Harry said, accepting the drink.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to. Please don’t feel peer pressured because of me.” His eyes were laced with worry but Harry brushes it off.

“You’re not. I want to get pissed.”

“You heard the man!” Niall yelled even though they were standing right there with him. “Now let’s get this party started! Woo!”

Everyone started cheering as Niall let in a few more girls that Harry recognized from class.

“El, Dani, get your sexy butt in this house.” He said, and then Niall was laughing at his own joke which causes everyone else to laugh.

For the first hour, everyone was socializing and drinking, just chilling. Harry was actually really enjoying it too. He chugged his fourth drink, listening to Liam and Louis debate about something that Harry didn’t really care about but he was listening anyway because he likes hearing people talk. He liked hearing Louis talk.

“Truth or dare anyone?!” Niall yelled to the lot.

“Oh for god’s sake, Niall!” Louis said. “We’re in high school now, that’s kiddy shit.”

“You chicken?” Niall challenged and then Louis breaks.

“Fuck no.”

So that’s how they all ended up sat in a circle, drinks in their hands. Harry was really starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, knows he should probably slow down, that he shouldn’t accept the vodka that Greg tips his cup off with but he didn’t give a fuck anymore.

“So LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLiam,” Niall said, looking away from Louis and to Liam. Maybe Harry was just seeing things but he thought he saw the two boys share a look. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Good ol’ sensible Liam.” Louis remarked as Niall continues.

“Do you have a crush on someone in this circle?”

“Yep.” Liam said without hesitation. Everyone else ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s while he turned to face Harry. “Harry, truth or dare?”

“Um,” Harry was even slower when he’s not in his right mind. “Truth.”

“What’s your favorite sex position?” For a moment, Harry was shocked that those words came out of such and innocent looking mouth but then he realized…oh.

“I’m a virgin.” He admits, red in the face. Again everyone else in the circle mades appropriate sounds and Harry turned to Louis because he’s the one he knew the best here. “Louis, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Louis didn’t miss a beat and Harry wasn’t surprised.

“I dare you to…” He trailed off, thinking of what would be the perfect dare. “Stick your hand down Liam’s shorts and leave it there until it’s your turn again.”

Everyone laughed and Louis shoots Harry a look that had him believing that he’s in for it.

“Fine, Harry, truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Truth is always the safer option.

“When you wanked off last, what were you thinking about? In detail.”

Harry’s face was ablaze. “Um, my ex and I fucking.”

“Lucky girl,” One of the other girls murmured. Harry chose not to address it. Instead he continued, daring Niall to make out with the girl of his choice in the circle. Liam did not look comfortable. Granted, he had Louis’ hand down his pants.

It continued like that, things getting gradually worse as time wore on. Harry was proper pissed when it was his turn and he really couldn’t be blamed.

“Liam, toof or dare?” The room was kind of spinning and Harry was lolling to Louis’ side just a bit but he was trucking through this.

“Dare!” Liam exclaimed excitedly.

“I dare you,” Harry pointed, slumping forward slightly. “To call someone you barrrely know and tell, you tell them, that you want ta fuck ‘em.”

“Fuck you Styles.” He grabbed out his phone, dialing a number.

It rang a few times and then went to voicemail. “Hey you’ve reached Zayn, you know what to do.” And then there was a beep and Liam’s drunk voice was calling out in the silence.

“Zayn, god you’re so fucking sexy. I do know what to do, I want to do you. I want to fuck you, Zayn. Nice and hard with my ten inch – “

“Okay!” Niall snatched the phone from Liam and hung up. “Next!”

“Louis,” Liam said, smirking wildly. “T or D?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to snog the hottest person in this room.”

It went quiet, everyone wondering who Louis was going to pick. Harry’s eyes scanned the circle, avoiding Danielle since her last dare was to go completely topless for the rest of the game. But he kept scanning and eventually his eyes landed on Louis. And he saw that Louis was staring right back at him.

Before Harry really even processed what was happening, Louis was leaning forward and kissing him. For a moment, Harry was so completely and totally surprised that he just sat there. But then his brain kicked into gear and he’s kissing Louis back. Louis’ hand gripped the curls at the nape of Harry’s neck, pulling just slightly. Gasping at the unexpected zing of pleasure from the hair pulling, Harry squirmed, and then he felt Louis slid his tongue into his mouth.

Harry hadn’t snogged anyone is a very long time, so he got excited, wrapping his own fingers in the hair on the side of Louis’ head, holding him in place. It got heated fairly quickly. One of Louis’ hands slipped from Harry’s neck and trailed down, thumb rubbing at Harry’s nipple through the thin fabric of his shirt. Harry moaned out loud, scooting closer to Louis, if he wasn’t drunk he’d probably actually climb into Louis’ lap.

“Guys,” Someone, probably Liam called out.

Louis pushed Harry back which caused him to fall unceremoniously back on the floor. His head hit the floor in a way that should have probably hurt but it didn’t. Instead he just started laughing, as did Louis, and probably everyone else too, but Harry wasn’t paying attention to them. Louis surprised Harry by climbing on top of him, attacking his mouth again.

Harry’s getting hard, especially since Louis’ bum was situated right on his crotch. He’d never noticed how perfect it was until just that moment. He probably should have been embarrassed at the fact that this guy who is kind of his friend, but at the same time, person he really didn’t know all too well was sitting on his hard dick but oh well.

“Should we stop them?” Greg asked.

“Nah, I’m totally gonna get some more picture of this. Blackmail the captain.” One of the other football players put in.

“You better be joking, Stanley.” Liam warned.

Harry thinks this is the night. He’s ready to give himself to Louis. It makes perfect sense.

“Shirt,” Louis murmured against Harry’s lips, already tugging at the material. He’d just got it up to his armpits, which was a struggle considering every part of Harry except his cock was limp and lagging.

“Aaaaalright!” Niall came over and pulls the two apart, clearly much to Louis’ dismay.

“Feck off!” He yelled, attempting to go back to Harry. It didn’t quite work though, the Irish hold their alcohol a lot better than Louis or Harry ever could.

“Actually, I think it’s about time we head out.” Greg’s girlfriend spoke up. “And I think we better take these two boys home. He’s not sober enough to drive.”

“Yeah huuuuuh!” Louis whined like he was five years old.

Eventually, Louis and Harry are shoved in the back of Greg’s car, being driven back. Louis has to give them the code to open the gate four different times before he actually mumbles out the correction combination of numbers. And Harry has to dial Ed’s number countless times before he gets it right.

“’Ello?” Came the tired ginger’s voice.

“Ed! Eddie Ed, Ed, Ed! Flamey hair! You’re hair’s on fire, but oh darlin’ my heart’s on fire!” He’s stumbling to the door, clinging to Greg as he does so.

“You home?” He grumbled, shuffling around and Harry assumes he’s getting out of bed.

“Yeahh,” He nearly busted his arse getting up the last step, Greg groaning because of having to keep the baby giraffe from falling down the concrete steps.

The door creaked open and Ed appeared, taking Harry off of Greg’s hands and helping him inside. Getting Harry up the stairs and safely in bed was quite a struggle but Ed managed to do it without waking up Paul or Mrs. Higgins or even any of the other siblings in the house. As soon as Harry’s head hit the pillow, he was out like a light.

-

“Boys! Time to get up. Be downstairs by seven.” Mrs. Higgins was there at the door just as she had been every single morning that Harry’d been there. Usually he found it odd or even a bit saddening because of the general happiness of this home that he wasn’t used to but this morning, he groaned loudly.

Quickly, he dragged himself out of bed and to the shower. If he didn’t find a way to wake himself up, he’d never survive through school-wait! It’s fucking Saturday! By the time he’d realized this, he was already in the bathroom so he figured he might as well finish showering and shit.

“Eeeeddd,” Harry groans when he’s finished and back in the room. “Why are we up at seven in the fucking morning?”

“Mmmph.” He rolled over so Harry left and went to find Lou or Leigh-Anne.

Of course, Lou was in the bathroom so Harry went to her.

“Why are we up early?” It wasn’t that it was a huge deal or anything except that under normal circumstances, waking up early on the weekend sucks. Waking up early on the weekend after a night of partying and getting drunk sucks even worse.

“Mom makes us wake up early on Saturdays . It sucks but it’s whatever. You get used to it eventually. Sundays we can sleep in though.” Lou continued pulling the straightener through her hair, not looking at Harry as she spoke. “It may seem strict but it’s because they care.”

Harry didn’t say anything. He just headed downstairs and sat silently eating. The day went like that mostly. The family just lazed around and hung out together. Harry hung out too of course but he was kind of anxious. Like, Louis hadn’t texted him or called or anything. And Harry saw Niall and Greg come and drop off the Porsche around noon so Louis must have been home. Of course, Harry hadn’t texted Louis but. Maybe he regretted it. Not that Harry really remembered what ‘it’ was. He remembered snogging Louis a bit but then the next thing he remembers is being in the back of Greg’s car. Did they fuck?

Harry bolted up. Holy shit, did they fuck? Did he lose his virginity last night? But his bum didn’t hurt so if he did, he didn’t bottom. Which still sucks but bottoming for the first time is something he wants to be special, the thing that matters to him. But at the same time, he couldn’t really see himself fucking Louis. Like maybe but not. Whatever, he wasn’t going to think about that.

Everyone looked at him when he’d bolted up, now taking out his phone and dialing Niall’s number.

“Everything okay, Harry?” Paul asked Harry, pausing the movie that they were watching.

“Yeah I just need to go call Niall.” Harry stalked out of the room, sliding outside, hearing Leigh-Anne call after him. Normally, he wouldn’t ignore her but he had to talk to Niall and figure out what had happened last night.

“What it is?” Niall answered, trying to sound gangster. If Harry weren’t so stressed he’d probably laugh.

“Niall, hey, so ummm,” He wanted to ask, he just wasn’t sure how to go about it. Blunt would probably be the best option. “What happened with Louis and me last night?”

Niall’s immediate reaction was to laugh which had Harry’s stomach twisting into knots. “Liam dared you two to snog and it got a little…intense.”

“But like, we didn’t…” Harry gulped. “We didn’t do…it?”

“No!” Niall seemed to have found this even more funny and Harry was able to laugh a little, feeling relief wash over him.

“Thank god!” Harry sighed. “I mean not that I wouldn’t, but like if, you know, but only if he, which he probably doesn’t because, I mean who would – “

“Mate, you’ve completely lost me.” Niall laughed even harder, not in a malicious way, but in a way that he was just happy and that was something that was completely foreign to Harry.

“Never mind,” Harry blushed madly, really wanting the conversation to come to an end. “Well anyway, I’m gonna go, I have homework and such.”

“Bye Harry!” Niall laughed, mumbling something about doing homework on a Saturday night, but Harry just hung up.

For a few moments, Harry just sat out on the front step, mulling over how much his life had changed since he’d gotten to the Higgins’ house. It’d been less than a week and Harry could already see a difference in himself. He’d gained friends at school and in the home, he was eating proper meals, he was having ‘boy problems (which, those he could really, really do without) and he’d gotten back in contact with the three girls that he’d considered his best friends in the entire world. He blew him away how all of this could happen in less than a week, but the Higgins did seem magical. But Harry was still nowhere near okay.

Eventually, he heard the door open and he didn’t have to look up to know who was telling him that they should go for a walk to the park. Leigh-Anne. And for some reason, Harry could tell by the gloom of the sky, possibly a cold rain on the way, considering it was the last few days of January, and the look on Leigh-Anne’s face that this would not be a fun-loving conversation.

The two walked in silence, much like the first time they met, except this time, there was no prompt of conversation on Leigh-Anne’s part. If Harry wasn’t such a push over, he’d probably ask her what the fuck her problem was. But he was a push over and he wasn’t rude. So they stayed in silence, all the way to the little picnic bench beside the jungle gym.

“I really like you, Harry.” She starts out and holy fuck, Harry did not see that one coming. She knows he’s gay, how is he supposed to react to this?

“Leigh-Anne, I am flattered but I’m not interested.”

“Oh god, no.” She started laughing and then Harry was really confused. “I didn’t that I Iike like you. I meant like as a person, as a friend and as a foster sibling.”

“Oh.”

Alright, well at least she wasn’t confessing her love.

“I say that I really like you because I don’t want you to be offended. We barely know each other but I’ve asked you to put away your homosexuality. And now I have to ask you something else.”

“Oh god,” Harry groaned, knowing that this wasn’t going to be good.

“There are pictures on Facebook.” Leigh-Anne stated, holding her phone up, which depicted Louis and Harry heavily snogging, a few red cups visible. “You really don’t believe me but you need to get this taken down. If mom sees you snogging a guy, our neighbor, she will send you back. Especially if she notices the alcohol. Harry, look I’m sorry, but you only have two options. You either stay here and just back off, or you leave and who knows where you’ll be or what your circums – “

“How dare you.” Harry stood up from the bench, push over personality being put aside for just a moment. “What makes you think that you can give me an ultimatum on anything having to do with my staying here? “

“I’m just trying to – “

“You’re trying to make me go into a closet that doesn’t exist. I am proud, Leigh-Anne, I am proud of who I am. If you lot can’t accept that, then fuck you all. Do you understand that? Fuck you all.” He started to walk away but then she called after him with such emotion that it physically stopped him.

“Harry!” She seemed as if she were on the verge of legit breaking down. “Please don’t go, I need you. Please.”

“What’s really going on, Leigh?” Harry pushed, coming to sit back down. He was angry but he was raised by an exceptional woman who would be disappointed if he walked away from a girl who was about to cry.

“Look, we’re a family. And before you freak out, no it’s not like your biological family but once someone comes into that house, they’re family. Haven’t you ever seen Lilo and Stich? Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

“You know I could flip that around on you too? If you all are really my family, you’ll accept me. But we’re foster family and I’ve only been here for a few days, less than a week. Why are you getting all intense on me? This can’t just be about kissing Louis.”

“It is. Which, when did you stop hating that dick?” She changed the subject so quick, Harry should have been suspicious but instead he defended Louis.

“He’s not a dick, that whole thing was just a misunderstanding.”

“He’s always been a dick, even excluding the time where he threw you out of his house.”

“Leigh-Anne, are done giving me an intervention? Cause I have things I need to do?” Harry asked exasperatedly. Why did she feel the need to insult a part of himself that he can’t help and then go on to insult his friend? He liked her but if she kept this up…

“Yeah, just. Talk to Louis and see if he can get Stan to take the picture down.”

The walk back to the Higgins’ home was not much different than the walk there. Minus the fact that Harry had turned up the path to the big grey house instead. He may not agree with Leigh-Anne’s reasons but in all honestly, he wasn’t comfortable with a picture of his drunken snog session with Louis being on Facebook or any type of social media. But, he still hadn’t talked to Louis and it was nearing eight in the evening.

Before he could chicken out, he knocked solidly on the door. He waited and knocked a few more times and was nearly about to step away when Louis himself opened the door. At first Louis looked surprised, but then he almost looked relieved.

“Harry,” Louis said, smiling through the pink dusting his cheeks.

“Hey um, could you possibly ask Stan to take that picture of us down?” Blunt is always the best way to go. Straightforward, no bullshit.

“There’s a picture of us? Where?” Genuine confusion laced his expression and for some reason, that comforted Harry just a little.

“On Facebook.”

“Oh, yeah I’ll definitely do that. Sorry for that by the way. Um. I know you probably don’t want to be seen kissing the gay captain on the football team.” Louis’ expression had Harry backtracking.

“It’s not that, I promise you, I’m actually-“ He was just about to say ‘I’m gay too’ but then Leigh-Anne’s hurt voice rang clear in his mind. “Just worried about the alcohol thing. Apparently your neighbors aren’t too accepting.” Harry hoped that Louis caught his drift. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in kissing him, god no, the opposite was true.

“I’m just talking shit.” Louis brushed it off. “But yeah, I’ll talk to Stan. Hey listen, do wanna come in, we could hang out? Low key stuff. No drinking or games or anything. Just chill. I just got the new fifa – “

 

He had opened his mouth to say no but suddenly a thought occurred to him. Leigh-Anne never said he couldn’t do ‘gay’ stuff in private. Just. No letting Mrs. Higgins or Paul find out. “Sure!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOO very sorry about the long wait for this chapter! I hit a bit of a writer's block there for a bit. But, I think this is the longest chapter that I've done so far so yay for that! As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Comments are food for the soul :) You may also drop by [my Tumblr](http://larryismyotpuniverse.tumblr.com/) if you wish!
> 
> Have a lovely day!
> 
> (Also, I wrote this before Derek won! I freaking knew it! Although Frankie and Donny were my favorites.)

“Who do you think is going to win?” Louis asked Harry once they’d settled in his room down in the basement. It was like a fucking mansion down there and it made Harry wonder what the Higgins’ basement looked like. But that was where Josh stayed and Harry wasn’t too sure about him so he wasn’t about to find out any time soon.

“Donny for sure.” They were watching some shit American TV. show that Harry actually loved. Big Brother was a good show even if it was ridiculously cheesy sometimes.

“Really? My money’s on Derek. That whole cop thing really has its advantages.” Louis said, watching as Nicole dogged on someone (Harry can’t remember who) in the diary room.

They finished the show, both anxious to find out what will happen on the next episode. Louis seemed a bit too restless though, so Harry called him out on it.

“Something wrong?”

“I just,” Louis was up near his TV; looking very engrossed with the DVD he was looking at. “I still get the feeling you don’t like me.”

“Why?” He was genuinely confused. He may not trust Louis like he did Perrie, Jade, and Jesy, and even Ed, but it didn’t mean that he didn’t like Louis. He liked Louis a lot.

“You never talk to me, like ever except a word here and there. But I see you chatting it up with those girls all the time. Like, if you don’t want to hang out with me, you honestly don’t have to – “

“They were from one of my other foster homes.” Harry admits quietly. “I don’t talk much until you really get to know me. Not after…”

“Not after what?” Louis pushed.

“Um. I don’t really want to talk about it. I mean, we just met – “

“Hey, that’s fine. I don’t mean to push or anything. I just. I know it sounds pathetic, but I really want you to like me.” He blushed and looked away.

“Well I already like you, so.” Harry shrugged it off, blushing himself.

Louis smiled widely, “Good.”

Too soon, Harry’s phone was ringing, Mrs. Higgins demanding him come home.

“Harry, make sure you ask next time you go somewhere, please.” Mrs. Higgins said as Harry walked through the front door.

“I will, sorry.” He apologized and headed up to his room.

Harry actually did work on his homework that night. He looked up a few more things for his cultural geography class and did an extra chapter of reading for English before there was a knock on the door.

“Hey Harry,” It was Leigh-Anne. She walked in and sat on Ed’s bed, looking almost regretfully at Harry.

“What do you want?” He didn’t mean for it to come off as harsh but he was pretty pissed at her. To him, it seemed out of line to ask what she’d asked of him.

“I just wanted to make sure the picture – “

“Jesus, Leigh-Anne, I asked him to have it taken down. Now could you just, just go?”

“Okay,” She seemed off. There wasn’t the firm, stubborn attitude that she had before. She was gentle, soft, upset probably. “I’m sorry.”

Harry laid there after she left, just staring at the ceiling. He missed his family so damn much. They never would have done this to him, asked him to change based on their own bigotry. Which, he still doesn’t think that the Higgins’ would be massively unaccepting of homosexuality but maybe Leigh-Anne was right. Maybe they weren’t accepting. She had been here longer. He sighed and rolled over. Maybe he’d just have to deal with it.

-

Harry woke up the morning of February first, not feeling like celebrating at all. He turned seventeen, he should be excited. But all he could think about was his birthday the year before. He had gotten tickets to see Coldplay and he was so excited, he hugged his mom for an entire ten minutes. What he would give to hug her again. He just kept thinking, little did he know, by his birthday the following year, his entire family would be dead.

It was a Sunday so the entire house was peaceful and quiet when Harry snuck out of bed at seven in the morning. The previous Sunday, he had slept in until nearly noon and he’d thought that’s what he was going to do this Sunday, but he just couldn’t sleep.

The air is brisk outside when Harry situates himself on the back porch. He brings his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them. If he were home, Gemma would have already shaken him awake and presented him with a handmade present, probably a bracelet with all the colors of the rainbow or something of that sort. She always loved doing things like that for him to show that she supported him. And on days when the two of them would be at odds with each other, he would just look down at the bracelets or find the cards or poems and just know that in the end, they loved each other forever.

Harry stared at his blank wrists, wishing that he was strong enough to wear them. For one, Leigh-Anne would probably have a motherfucking cow if he wore the rainbow bracelets that Gemma had made him, but mostly, it hurt too much. He just couldn’t wear them as symbols of support when he had no more support. Not even that the Higgins’ didn’t support him, but his foundation of support had crumbled right from underneath him. He couldn’t look at the bracelets without remembering that Gemma was buried with the matching bracelets. So he hasn’t worn them since the funeral.

The cold air nipped at his cheeks, it probably wasn’t good to just sit outside like Harry was doing but he needed air. He needed a moment to be alone, to let the cold sink into his bones and chill through the fire burning in his veins. After a few more minutes, Harry heard the door slide open.

“Morning, Harry.” Paul said, sliding the French door closed behind him. “You’ve been out here for a good fifteen minutes.”

“Yeah.” Harry shivered, snuggling into his coat, not looking at Paul.

Paul doesn’t say much, he just sits next to Harry, looking out at their vast backyard as Harry was doing. He wrapped an arm around one of his legs that was brought to his chest, picking at a loose string at the hem of his black slacks. The silence between them was awkward because it was obvious that he wanted to say something but at the same time, Harry knew that he was trying to comfort him and fuck, he had to blink back tears. No foster family had ever provided him with comfort like this. Aside from Perrie, Jade, and Jesy but that didn’t count, not really. This was comfort from an adult, the “parent type” in his life, this was different.

“Listen,” Paul cleared his throat, moving to sit crisscross and patting Harry’s shoulder for just a second. “We know it’s your birthday and it’s probably really hard for you. We would’ve planned a party –“

“No, you don’t have to – “ Harry tried to shoot the idea down, still not looking at Paul.

“It’s what we do for all of our kids and you are no exception, we just didn’t know if you’d be comfortable yet.”

“I’m not.” Normally, Harry would never admit that, just for the fact that it was rude and could potentially hurt the Higgins’ feelings and he really didn’t want that. But there was something about Paul, like he knew that Paul wouldn’t get offended, that he was just being honest, and that they understood each other.

“Thought that might be the case,” He fiddled with his tie just a bit before continuing on. “We got you a few presents but we don’t really know you enough for them to be ‘the bomb’ or whatever you kids say – “

“It’s fine, presents are a luxury in the system.” Harry shivered through the sentence, pulling his knees tighter to himself.

“And that isn’t right. So Anne and I have talked it over and we agreed that in addition to the tiny things we got you, that we’ll get you one thing, whatever you want. It could be tickets to see someone or maybe to a ManU game. Or a new phone or IPod, whatever you want.”

“Take me to see my family.” Harry said without hesitation. Paul went very stiff next to him, pulling at his tie yet again.

“Harry, I can’t do that. It’s impossible. You have no idea how much I want to take away the pain, I wish I had the power to make things right with all of you kids’ parents, but I can’t make your parents or sister come back and I’m sorry.”

“That’s um,” He hid his face in the cocoon of his arms, clearing his throat of the emotion and inevitable tears. “That’s not what I meant. I meant like their um, where they’re buried.”

“Cheshire right?”

“Holmes Chapel,” Harry confirmed, nodding into the confines of his arms.

“Yeah, we can definitely do that for you. Let me go talk with Anne and she’ll let you know later on today.” Paul got to his feet, brushing off the nonexistent dust and dirt on his pants before turning back to Harry. “But hey, there will be cake and ice cream later tonight, that is a must on birthdays.”

“Okay,” Harry laughed just slightly, studying the finish on the wood very carefully.

“Oh and Harry?” Paul turned just as he’d opened the French doors.

“Yeah?” And finally, Harry looked up to make eye contact with Paul.

“Make sure you get in here soon, breakfast is ready and it’s fucking cold out here.” He smiled brightly and went inside shutting the door behind him.

Harry sat there for just another minute, smiling like an idiot. He really liked Paul. He actually really wanted to just give him a big, huge, bone crushing hug. Instead, Harry hugged his knees to his chest just a bit harder and sighed loudly before going inside.

“Happy Birthday, Harry.” Josh, who was walking by, said, smiling at him.

“Thanks.” It was weird to talk to Josh. He normally just kept to himself about everything that included Harry, well minus that one time when he needed Harry to pass him the peas or mashed potatoes or something.

Harry would have possibly tried to further the conversation just out of curiosity but his phone’s ringtone interrupted him. It was Olly.

“Hey mate!” Olly said, not giving Harry time to even say a proper hello, which was just like him. It even made Harry smile just a bit. “I just wanted to call you and say Happy Birthday. I hope you’re having a great one, you deserve it.”

“Thanks Olly,” Harry’s smile grew bigger, despite not knowing how to talk to him since Harry had changed so much since the last time they properly talked (he barely even counts that awkward phone call). “I appreciate it.”

“How are things going anyway?” It was obvious that Olly wanted to talk, actually talk and catch up and Harry didn’t have it in him to let the guy down twice.

They talked for an hour and a half, Harry roaming through the house and trying to relieve some of the awkwardness by messing with things or busying his free hand. By the end of the conversation though, Harry was honestly sad that he had to go. It may have been awkward but Olly was still the guy who had met up with him every day after school to play video games or punch the people who talked shit about Harry’s sexuality or hit on his older sister (that one wasn’t so great but it was pretty cliché so).

By the time that he’d made it to the table, Mrs. Higgins had cleared his plate away, saying, “Breakfast ends at eight, my dear Harry. Happy Birthday sweetie!” Of course then she handed him an apple and two frozen breakfast sandwiches that she’d heated up for him. Man, these people were so…whatever, he was tired of thinking about how great they were. He probably wouldn’t be here long, considering his luck.

It was an odd day for Harry. All of his foster siblings wished him a happy birthday the moment they saw him that morning. He really wanted to just curl up in his blankets and sulk but he knew that wouldn’t prove anything or further himself. And he could just imagine his family telling him that they wanted him to be happy.

Harry was at the bar on the island in the kitchen, just surfing through the internet. Tumblr was his hugest weakness even though most of his favorite blogs were blocked since they were marked as nsfw. It really did suck that they had all the porn sites blocked.

“Harry!” Jade’s voice rang through the spacious room. “Happy Birthday!”

He hopped off of the stool, embracing her small frame. “Thanks, what are you doing here?”

“She came over to hang out.” Leigh-Anne stood a few feet away from the two of them, arms folded over her chest. “Since you refused to go over to her house with me, I brought her here.”

“I didn’t refuse – “

“She’s just joking.” Jade brushed her off, still smiling as if she were the source for the sun. “I tried to get Pez and Jes to come with me but their foster mom was going crazy because someone hinted at the fact that Perrie and Zayn are dating. So it’s a bit hectic over there. They told me to tell you Happy Birthday though!”

“Aw, that sucks…Anyway, you can go with Leigh-Anne if you want, I was just about to go over and see if Louis was busy anyway.”

The two girls headed up the stairs while Harry went and got permission to go outside. He wanted to go to Louis’ but mostly, he just wanted to be alone. Some days it hit him really hard that these people aren’t his family, that his family is all gone forever. Some days he looks around and all he sees are a bunch of strangers letting him live in their house.

As he walks to the park, he thinks about how different his life will look in a year from now. His case worker had said that he would most likely stay here until he turned eighteen but there are no guarantees in the system. More than likely, what will happen is that he’ll be transferred to another terrible foster home, all he can hope is that it won’t be as terrible as his last foster home with Jude. Harry shot a prayer up to the stars for Jude, just as he does every time he thinks of the boy.

And then when he turns eighteen, he’ll be kicked out on his arse with no place to go and nothing to live for. For the first time since the accident, Harry hopes that he stays in this home; that he stays with this family.

Swinging always reminds him of angels. Today he imagines that Gemma is telling all the other angels about how her stupid kid brother is turning seventeen and he’s still a dweeb. He imagines that she’s still wearing the bracelets through every word though.

He’s really trying to pull himself together, to be okay. But today, he just can’t swallow back the need to fall into his mother’s arms. And he needs Gemma’s advice on how to get through this. He needs Robin to pull him into a bear hug and take him to a footie game to get his mind off of things.

All of the sudden, hands on are on Harry’s back, pushing him higher into the air. He gasped, nearly dislodging himself from the swing.

“’S alright. ‘S just me, didn’t mean to scare you.” Louis. Of course. He always seemed to show up when Harry felt like swinging.

“It’s fine.”

For a few moments, Harry just let himself be pushed. The moment was rather sweet actually. It was like Louis sensed that Harry needed some quiet time, so he was content to silently push Harry higher into the cold blue sky. Eventually though, Louis stopped pushing and leaned himself against one of the poles, just watching Harry. It probably should have creeped Harry out but it didn’t, Harry just sat there as his swing slowed down, blush evident on his cheeks.

“Thanks.” Harry said as his swing had calmed to barely even moving.

“For what?” Louis plopped himself down in the swing next to Harry’s, just barely pushing his feet off of the ground to get himself moving.

“I don’t know. Pushing me I guess.” Harry cursed himself for turning so awkward around Louis.

“Anything for the birthday boy.” He smiled softly and Harry’s heart jumped into his throat. Dammit, he wasn’t even supposed to let himself be friends with this guy but somehow he let himself not only be friends with him but he let himself develop a slight, tiny, molecular, miniscule crush on him and also drunkenly snogged him. Fuck. “Did you ask for a StingRay? I heard you like them.”

“How do you know that?”

“I uh,” Louis’ entire face went beet red, eyes wide with shock. “Sorry that’s really creepy.”

“And that’s not an answer.” Was this Harry trying to flirt? Maybe. Harry is so damn awkward though, even he can’t really tell when he’s trying to flirt with someone.

“Alright, don’t laugh.” Louis held out his pinkie very seriously.

“Are we seriously pinkie promising right now?” Harry couldn’t help but laugh just a little.

“Obviously. Pinkie promises are the most binding. If you break a pinkie promise,” Louis said animatedly, obviously about to break out into some grand, completely bull shit story as their pinkies hooked together. “you’ll be put on the list. Do you know what being put on the list means, Harry?”

“No,” Harry humored Louis mostly because whatever the hell he was about to say was bound to be at least somewhat funny. Their pinkies were still connected; Harry was having trouble with focusing on anything other than that anyway.

“It means that your second life will consist of broken pinkies and no promises because you can’t promise anything if you don’t have a pinkie to promise with.”

“That doesn’t make sense. How can life consist of broken pinkies if I don’t have any pinkies?” Harry’s eyes broke from where they were still connected to look Louis in the eye.

“Harold,” Louis sighed, smile still playing on his lips.

“It’s just Harry actually – “

“We’ve been saying the word pinkie too much, Harold. Now it just sounds funny.”

“Anyway,” Harry smiled, he couldn’t help it. Louis’ happiness is contagious. “Now that you’ve finished with your ridiculous story and also weak attempt at diversion, I promise I won’t laugh, but do tell. I want to know what got you all blushy.”

“Um,” Their fingers finally unlocked. Harry held his frown back like it was second nature. “Well I may have asked Niall about you.”

“Why?” That genuinely confused Harry. If Louis had wanted to know something, Harry was literally like twenty steps away.

“I knew that you two were doing a project together. He won’t stop ranting about how you actually do your share of the work unlike most of his previous project partners. So I just asked him about you.”

“But like, why? You could have asked me.”

“That just seemed awkward. Though, in hindsight, it probably would have been less awkward than this conversation. But I don’t know, you just never talk to me. And so yeah. Sorry I’ve probably creeped you out.”

“No,” Harry shook his head. “I’m not creeped out. Just confused. I don’t understand why you care so much about knowing things about me. Like, I don’t know. It just. It’s never mattered to anyone before and I don’t get why you care.”

“Harry,” Louis sighed, looking away from Harry. Harry watched as Louis’ gloved hands slid down the chain links of the swing before he continued. “I don’t know what your past looked like but I think it’s the fucking saddest thing I’ve ever heard that I am the first one to care about things that you care about. I just – “

“Are you crying?” Harry asked incredulously.

“No,” Louis looked back to him and sure enough, there was a single tear staining his cheek, running down his face like it was a race. On instinct, Harry reached out and gently swiped his thumb over the tear, brushing it away. When it was gone, Harry’s hand stayed put. It should have been weird but Louis was looking at him like that and it had him frozen. “I like you.”

“You like me?” Harry repeated, stunned. Slowly, his hand dropped from Louis’ face.

“I know it’s like really soon and we still barely know each other and god, I’ve just made a fool of myself haven’t I?” His laugh sounds forced and very awkward but it still somehow gets Harry’s heart beating faster.

“No.” For a moment, Harry just sits there, smiling like a fool. He probably looks dumb as hell but he doesn’t care. “That was the sweetest birthday present ever.”

“Oh that’s not the – I have an actual present for you at home. I would’ve brought it but I didn’t know that I’d see you.”

“You got me a present?”

Next thing Harry knew, they were down in Louis’ basement and Louis was handing him a rectangular box that had been wrapped with Christmas wrapping paper. Harry chuckled when Louis had babbled his apologies, he quite liked that Louis was the one that was babbling and awkward for a change. Carefully, Harry opened it, revealing a necklace with a small paper plane charm dangling from the chain.

“I um, I saw this thing online about how it doesn’t matter how crinkled the paper is, you can still make a perfect paper plane out of it. It doesn’t matter if the paper is soiled or ripped or whatever, the plane will still soar when it’s made just right. And…I don’t know. It made me think of you. Like this is going to sound super cheesy but like, you may be torn or soiled but you are still soaring. You’re still made with perfection.”

Harry stared at the necklace, not saying a word. He could barely find the strength to even breathe without falling into a sobbing mess at Louis’ feet. It was the single most perfect thing that anyone could have given him (besides of course, bringing his family back). He couldn’t even find the words to explain what Louis’ gift, paired with the words he’d just said, had meant to him.

“I’ve overstepped haven’t I? Harry, I’m so sorry, please don’t be offended, I didn’t mean – “

“No, it’s lovely. It’s so perfect. I love it so much I could kiss you.” Those two little words slipped right out without Harry even realizing what he’d said. Of course, Louis’ face clouds over and Harry wants to sink into the floor and disappear.

“Do it.”

Harry’s not even sure he actually heard that or if his brain played a trick on him. Of course, at that exact moment, Harry’s ringtone starts playing loudly, seemingly louder than Harry remembered it. Reluctantly, he looked down to find that it was Mrs. Higgins.

“’lo?” He answered, turning away from Louis with flaming cheeks.

“It’s time for dinner sweetie.”

“Okay, be there in a sec.” Harry hung up, sighing and turning back to face Louis. “I’ve got to – “

“Yeah, no it’s fine. You can go.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you tagged along.”

“Uh, nah. Mom is making homemade pizza tonight. Thanks though.”

The pair walked silently to the door. Their hands brushed once and Louis pulled back so suddenly, like it’d burned him. Harry felt like maybe he’d done something wrong. Or maybe Louis regretted what he’d said. Or maybe Harry’s brain really was playing tricks on him and he didn’t say anything at all about wanting Harry to kiss him and he just thinks that Harry weirdly said he could kiss him and he’s weirded out. But he’d just admitted earlier that he’d liked Harry. Ughh, boys were so confusing.

“So, I’ll see you later?” Harry turned the last part of the sentence up so that it sounded like a question. He hoped he didn’t sound too desperate. It was just, he may not have said it, but he liked Louis too and he wanted Louis to like him too.

“Yeah,” Louis gave him a half smile and Harry started leaning forward to kiss him before he even realized what he was doing. He was too close to just back away, that’d be suuuuper awkward so he settled for a light peck on Louis’ tan cheek. “H-happy Birthday.”

“Thanks.”

The house smelled like Mexican food, Harry’s favorite. He smiled stupidly to himself for not picking up on Mrs. Higgins continuously asking his favorite types of foods and desserts. He’d honestly expected the family to act like his birthday was just another day, just like all of his previous foster homes had acted with Christmas. But no, they’d pulled one over on him; he couldn’t be any more surprised when he’d sat down to dinner.

He wasn’t surprised when Paul brought the cake to the table once dinner had been cleared but it was still nice. It was nice to be celebrated for being alive for the first time since his family had died. It was a welcome change. Harry physically shook his head to get rid of the feelings, reminding himself that he couldn’t afford to get too attached to these people. It would hurt much more than it would help.

The “tiny” presents turned out to be a pair of beats, a pair of vans, and a motherfucking laptop. In what world is a Mac a fucking tiny present? And the two of them were practically reeking with worry that he’d hate what they’d got him, told him several times that they’d kept the receipts and such. He reassured them that he loved what they got him and gave them both a legit hug.

All throughout the evening, Leigh-Anne had been acting weird. She had a near-constant blush the entire time and she kept fidgeting and brushing a hand over her face or through her curls. It was odd and Harry was slightly concerned for her. However, even though it sounded horrible, he was too distracted by his awesome new laptop to comment on it. Not only that, but he was still mostly upset with her over their conversations recently. He knew she was just trying to protect him but he was still pissed about it. So he let it slide.

Harry’d just finished brushing his teeth for the night when Mrs. Higgins called him into her and Paul’s bedroom. He timidly tiptoed in and tried not to act too shell shocked. Their room was huge. When he was given a tour the first time he got here, the door had been closed, she just informed him that that was her and Paul’s room. He couldn’t believe it. Their master bathroom door was open; revealing a large tub big enough the entire family could probably fit in there.

“Did you hear me dear?”

“Oh um sorry,” Harry said, blushing. “What did you say?”

“Paul and I talked and if it is okay with you, he can drive you to Holmes Chapel next Saturday.”

“Yeah that’s,” He swallowed thickly. “That’s perfect.”

-

Monday, Niall limps to Cultural Geography, still wrapped up in his coat and scarf even.

“What happened to you?” Harry asked, pulling out all the papers he’d printed off the previous Saturday. The project was due the following Friday and they were nearly done. If they played their cards right, they could basically have a free period for nearly a week. And right before finals study guides were about to be handed out, Harry needed that, that’s for damn sure.

“Um, got in a fight.” He cleared his throat, pulling out papers of his own. He winced when he twisted in his seat, entire face going a deep red. A bit of Niall’s scarf gets pulled down, revealing a bruise on Niall’s neck. Niall catches Harry looking and quickly pulls the scarf back up. “Was pretty bad.”

“Oh.” Harry got the distinct feeling that Niall was lying but he decided not to call him on it. If Niall wanted to lie about whatever happened, he obviously didn’t want Harry to know. Another thing that Harry had learned from his time in the system, don’t push people for details. “So I’ll bring the poster board tomorrow or maybe you could come over tonight so we can work on it.”

“Actually I’m kind of grounded. My parents found out…well anyway, I can’t leave the house. I can probably get them to let you over though, since it’s for school.” Niall pulled out highlighters and notecards, working on the presentation.

“Okay. Just text me.”

Most of class was boring as always, not that the Nicaraguan culture isn’t completely and totally interesting, he was just filing through facts and perfecting lists, running things with Niall to make sure the pair was on the same page as far as who did what work. It got boring.

Harry’s brain kept reverting back to the conversation that he and Louis had had. He couldn’t stop hearing Louis say ‘I like you’ and he couldn’t stop wondering if he had actually made up the part where Louis basically told Harry to kiss him. Had he? He might have. But then Louis got so weird, like he clammed up or something. But he did care for Harry, right? Like that’s basically what that whole conversation had consisted of, he’d even gone to Niall –

“Hey,” Harry said suddenly, as the thought had occurred to him.

“Yeah?” Niall was currently working on his maths homework, silently cursing to himself.

“Did…” He trailed off; suddenly worried that it’d be weird to ask Niall about it. Ah fuck it. “Did Louis really ask you about me?”

“He just…he wanted to know if I had any ideas of something cool to get you for your birthday, which Happy late Birthday by the way.” The Irish lad smiled brightly, cheeks going red again.

“Oh.” Harry studied the desk that he was sat at very carefully. He let his curls fall to cover his face so that no one would see the stupidly wide grin that was plastered on his face. He felt…giddy. Part of him maybe thought that Louis was fucking with him, that this whole thing was part of some sick joke. Ever since the accident, good things just didn’t happen to Harry Styles. It was like he was cursed or something. And of course, the way he and Louis met wasn’t so grand so he wouldn’t put it past him to pull some shit to get Harry to fall for him or some shit. Which Harry was not, falling for him. He admitted, there was a small crush developing because who wouldn’t have a crush on Louis Tomlinson? Like the lad was fit as hell, hilarious, and he had the prettiest blue eyes, and don’t even get Harry started on that bone structure, like those fucking cheek bones – and oh sweet baby Jesus, that arse –

“Harry?”

“What?!” Harry snapped out of the trance he was in to see Niall staring at him worriedly.

“I was just saying to not take that the wrong way. Louis never does shit like that for people.”

Harry doesn’t get the chance to respond. The bell sounds throughout the school and then everything gets a bit chaotic as it always does after class ends. Niall is gone before Harry is even finished with gathering his things up.

There have been a lot of boys in Harry’s life that he’s liked. He dated Matt, could’ve fallen in love with him even, if they hadn’t broken up. But something about this thing with Louis, something is different. Something about Louis immediately rejecting him during their first encounter had hurt in a different way (which Harry doesn’t understand because they didn’t even know each other). Even the thought of Louis taking enough time to ask Niall about him, that just meant so much to Harry, made him happy in this weird way.

Throughout his next classes, he didn’t pay much attention. Louis was on his mind in everything he did. At first he was super giddy and excited, but then he’d remembered Leigh-Anne. So even though he had a little crush on Louis and Louis admitted to liking Harry, he obviously couldn’t act on it. Leigh-Anne would shit a brick, and if what she had been insisting about the Higgins is true, then he would get kicked out of the best home that he’d had since his actual home. And there it was, the curse of being a Styles. Fuck the Universe or God or whoever the fuck was responsible for his life turning out like this. For the first time in seven months, he finds a home that he may actually like enough to want to stay and then, in order to stay there, he has to go into the closet for the first time in his life. And turn down a fit football player.

To be fair though, he has no idea if anything is even going to happen with him and Louis. Sure there’s a fair amount of attraction there and at times, bad attempts at flirting (on Harry’s part) but that doesn’t mean that Louis wants to be boyfriends or even that Harry wants to be Louis’ boyfriend. Although…that does sound nice. But he obviously can’t have that if he wants to keep the Higgins.

Lunch comes fairly quickly. Jesy, Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne are already at the table by the time that Harry gets there. The only spot left open is the one that’s right next to Leigh-Anne so he reluctantly takes a seat. It’s not that he hates Leigh-Anne. Like when he thinks about it, if the roles had been reversed, he probably would have done the same thing. Of course, he would have approached the subject a little better but still, in her eyes, she was just trying to do the right thing. Which Harry respects. It means that she really does care about having him around, which in a fucked up way, this whole thing is a compliment to Harry. But Harry’s mad at the situation which in effect, makes him mad at Leigh-Anne.

Apparently the tension between them is obvious.

“What’s up with you two?” Perrie asks, stabbing restlessly at her food without actually eating any of it.

“Nothing,” They say in unison, which causes them to look at each other and smile just for a fraction of a second.

“No, something’s definitely up. Jade has been quiet all day too. Did the three of you get in a fight or summat?” This time it was Jesy who pushed the subject. She had been extra irritable lately due to the diet that she’s trying out. Apparently one of her foster parents had said she was getting heavy or some ridiculously crazy thing like that so she is trying to lose weight. It’s ludacris if you ask Harry.

“We aren’t in a fight.” Jade sighed, pulling her tiny fingers through her hair. “Where’s Zayn anyway?”

“He’s got some art thing that he has to work on. Something with their final project so he’s meeting with the art teacher during lunch period for the rest of the week.”

“Speaking of Zayn,” Leigh-Anne started, “What happened at your foster home with you two?”

Perrie started going on and on about how “the new bitch” is threatening to tell on them and Zayn’s adopted mom sat them down to lecture them but Harry wasn’t paying attention. He knew that it was shitty of him to not pay attention, especially when Perrie was talking about Zayn, but he got distracted by the way that Leigh-Anne kept rubbing her hands together in her lap under the table. It wasn’t like the normal, twiddle your thumbs type of gesture. It was obvious in the way that her hands grasped each other so hard her knuckles turned white, rubbing and pulling at each other before going back to the death grip. She was freaking out about something.

Harry wanted to comment on it but he had no idea how to. Maybe it wasn’t really anything but it didn’t look like anything. But what was he supposed to say? Especially since they’d been basically ignoring each other. He still wanted Leigh-Anne to be okay though, just because he was upset about the circumstances didn’t mean that he didn’t care about her. He had a tendency to get attached to certain foster siblings, Jude, Jesy, Jade, and Perrie were evidence of that. And he’d already grown to care about Leigh-Anne, Ed, Lou and Mrs. Higgins and Paul. It wasn't that he didn’t care about Josh, they just weren’t close. So if it were Leigh-Anne or Ed or any one of the Higgins family that he saw obviously stressing, he would want to help, regardless of the rocky relationship.

He figured they’d just have to talk about it at home. The lunchroom probably wasn’t a comfortable place to talk about things. So for the time being, he just smiled at her when they made eye contact and continued on with lunch.

The rest of the day passed with haste and with no homework to Harry’s delight. Well, minus the project that he hopefully would finish with Niall that night. He was on his way out to the parking lot when he’d pulled out his phone to text Niall and remind him to ask his parents about Harry coming over. With his focus on his phone, Harry hadn’t seen the person in front of him abruptly stop, causing him to smash right into them.

“Sorry, sorry,” Harry was quick to say, blushing from the tips of his ears all the way down his chest.

“’S alright, hey Harry!” It was Liam.

“We keep meeting like this,” Harry laughed, straightening out his beanie.

“I know, but hey I ran into you last time so we’re even now.” He laughed, puppy dog eyes lighting up brilliantly.

Harry just laughed as the two began walking towards the exit together. He glanced over to Liam to try and make some sort of small talk when he saw a blonde hair stuck to Liam’s scarf. “Oh you have a hair, here.”

He reached over to pluck it off, causing the scarf to rustle a bit, exposing some of Liam’s neck. Right near the base of Liam’s neck was a huge bruise.

“Whoa.” Harry says before he can stop himself. Then of course, Liam realizes what Harry’s referring to and then he’s blushing and Harry’s blushing and things get very awkward.

“It’s not what it looks like.” Liam whispers to Harry, obviously very embarrassed.

“It’d be alright if it was. You know, what it looks like.” Harry didn’t get it. Liam obviously had a love bite. High school kids loved to flaunt their sexual encounters, what was so different with Liam? Why did he try so hard to hide it?

Liam mumbles a, “See ya,” When the two split to go their separate ways.

Soon enough, all of the kids are piled in the Volvo, Harry in the back squished between Lou and Josh. For some reason, it seemed that Ed had eternal dibs on driving. Not that Harry was complaining, he didn’t have his license yet. He made a mental note to bring that up with Mrs. Higgins or Paul at some point.

Niall already had his half of things out by the time that Mrs. Higgins had dropped off. Apparently his parents were worried that they wouldn’t actually be working on school stuff so they had to leave his door open. They seemed kind of strict, which had Harry wondering if they knew that Niall and their other son had had a party here not too long ago.

For the first few minutes, they chatted idly about loose ends that they were tying up with their project and other various things that related to Nicaragua. Since they didn’t really have much left, their conversation transitioned into casual small talk.

“Your hair isn’t naturally blonde is it?” Harry asks, gluing the map of Nicaragua onto the presentation board.

“Nah. I started dying it when I was like fourteen or summat. It just kinda stuck.” He shrugged, still filling out the note cards for their speech section of the presentation. “You know, Liam was convinced that you gave yourself a home perm to get those curls, I swear I pulled a muscle I laughed so hard.”

“Really?” He chuckled. “That’s ridiculous.”

“I know…Liam is, he’s really something.” Suddenly Niall looks up, excited. “That reminds me! I, well, Liam and I collabed on a birthday present for you!”

“You didn’t have to – “ He tried to shoot Niall down but the boy would not hear it. He’d run off to his closet, practically leaping with joy. “You’re never unhappy are you?”

“Nah,” He shrugged, handing Harry a gift bag. “Life’s too short to take anything too seriously. Here.”

He pulled out the gift wrapping, setting the blue envelope aside. In the bag was a pair of ManU headphones and a twenty-five dollar gift card to the music shop that’s right down the street from their high school. Needless to say, it was perfect.

“Niall, this is amazing! I can’t believe you two did this for me!” He jumped up and hugged the lad tightly. “Tell Liam that I loved it.”

“Will do. We had planned on going over to your house and actually giving it to you on your birthday but we got a bit distracted…”

“So Liam is part of the reason that you’re grounded?” Harry chuckled, not imagining Liam doing anything grounded-worthy. He picked up the envelope, carefully tearing it open.

“Yeah…”

The card was filled with some stupid jokes that Harry vowed to remember and tell everyone he knew. Taped to the back though, was a piece of cardstock, Harry read aloud. “One certificate for free football lessons with Louis Tomlinson.”

“Yeah we just thought. I don’t know. You like footie and Lou is the best teacher we knew so. You don’t have to if you don’t want to yah know.”

“No, I’d love that. Thank you so much, for everything.”

Harry was carefully placing his gifts back into the gift bag when a thought occurred to him. “You said you and Liam were together yesterday, right?”

“Um, yes?” Niall practically threw himself into the bag of chips that had been brought up to his room.

“And you also said you got into a fight.” Harry stated, putting the pieces together in his head.

“Yeh.” His mouth was stuffed full but Harry could still hear him.

“So did you two fight each other or what?” Harry wasn’t stupid. Niall showed up to school with love bites, trying to cover them up, Liam also showed up to school with hidden love bites. And for Christ’s sake, Niall was limping. So one of three things happened, either they fucked each other, or they both fucked other people, conveniently showing up with matching love bites, or they really did get into a fight, but that didn’t seem too likely. Who would punch just the neck area? No one. Harry had a feeling he knew what was happening.

“Not exactly.”

“You know, you can tell me. If you want to. I’m just saying, I won’t like judge you or anything. Especially since I’m – “ Harry caught himself. He was just about to tell Niall that he is gay but then of course, he thought of the conversations he’d been having with Leigh-Anne, which reminded him that he still needed to talk to her. “like Gretchen Wieners. My hair is full of secrets.” Shut up, it was the first thing that came to his mind.

“Did you seriously just reference Mean Girls?” Niall thought that what Harry’d said was the single funniest thing that he’d ever heard (which changes every time Niall hears something even remotely funny). After Niall swipes away his tears, Harry decides to speak up again.

“That was a bad joke, but I’m serious. I don’t judge and I won’t like spread it. I don’t have very many friends to spread it to anyway.”

“Liam and I are fucking.”

“W-what?” Harry had already figured it out, but he didn’t expect Niall to be so blunt about it.

“Um,” Niall swallowed the mouthful of food, blushing more than he’d ever seen him. “Yeah.”

“So you two … like are you together?”

“No, we just you know.” Niall shrugged. “We’re just like friends with benefits.”

“This may be out of line,” Harry said, gluing another fact to their presentation board. “But I’ve always wondered, like how do those things even happen?”

“It started last summer. We were both piss drunk and ended up fucking. When he decided to talk about it, I admitted that I didn’t really want to stop. And so we agreed to go to each other when we needed…release. At least until we find other people…”

“You know, I don’t judge. I just don’t think I’d ever be able to have that kind of arrangement. I’d probably develop feelings – “

“Well that’s not a problem for us.” Niall snapped, effectively ending the conversation.

They did end up finishing the project, thankfully. Niall’s mom, Maura, ending up giving him a ride home right after dinner. The car ride back to the Higgins’ was sufficiently awkward but she really was a sweet lady.

Lou was working on homework at the island when Harry walked through the front door.

“Where is everyone?”

“Well, mom got sick so she’s up resting. Dad is in the office downstairs working on something. Ed’s out with Josh working on some music stuff, Leigh-Anne’s upstairs and I’m here.”

“Oh,” Harry laughed. “Whatcha working on?” He felt that he hadn’t really talked with her in a while.

“History.” She sighed. “It’s horrible. How was your project with that Irish kid?”

“Good. We finished.” It got awkward. Time to escape. “Well I’m going to go on up.”

He trudged up the stairs tiredly. When he’d opened the door, the light was off. He switched it on and saw Leigh-Anne on Ed’s bed again.

“Holy shit!” He’d jumped. “Thinking again?”

She nodded, not looking at him. Harry set his stuff down and then flopped down on his own bed. He’d been meaning to ask Leigh-Anne what had been going on with her and this was the perfect opportunity, yet no words were coming out of his mouth. He just laid there while she sat there in silence.

“’Bout what?” He forced himself to ask eventually.

“Hm?”

“What are you thinking about?”

“Friends. And me.”

“Anything I can help with?”

“And why would you want to help me? I’ve basically been nothing but a bitch to you ever since you got here.”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s just. You were like my first friend here, even though you changed when I told you that I was gay, which isn’t cool. But I still appreciate you and want you to be okay.” Honesty is always the best policy.

“Well no, there’s nothing you can do. I will just have to deal with this on my own.” She got up off of Ed’s bed just as Ed came into the room.

“Hey Leigh, Harry. What’s up?”

“Nothing.” She said. “I was just going.”

“Hey,” Harry called, stopping her. “Just. Let me know if there is anything I can do, yeah?”

She looked as if she was about to lash out and then she just randomly softened, even smiling at Harry as she nodded. And then she was gone, off to her own room.

“What was that about?” Ed inquired.

“Nothing. Just girl problems.”

Harry got into bed early that night. He was really tired and had to get up early enough to jump in the shower before breakfast. Just as his eyes were about to close, his phone vibrated. When Harry saw that it was a text from Louis, his heart beat just a bit faster.

‘Hey :)’

‘Hi Lou!’ Normally, Harry wouldn’t include the little nickname but his tiredness made him brave.

‘So I got some certificates for half off froyo. Wanna get some with me after school tomorrow?’

Harry was in the middle of replying when another text from Louis came.

‘Get some froyo I mean. And like, not that I want to bc of the half off. We could go without the coupons. Unless you don’t want to.’

And then another.

‘Sorry I’m being awkward :/’

‘No,’ Harry replied. ‘You’re fine :) I would love to go with you with the coupons or without them.’

‘Awesome :) meet you in the parking lot after school’

After their conversation was over, Harry just laid there smiling like an idiot. And then a thought occurred to him.

Did Louis just ask him out on a date?


	7. Drama and Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry about the really long delay on the updates for this fic! I wanted to make this chapter longer to make up for that but it didn't happen. I'm still in college for another two months so I can't promise faster updates but I promise that I'm trying! Also, huge thanks to [Dani](http://www.wattpad.com/user/1Dani5SOS) my awesome beta!   
> Comments are a huge motivator to keep writing ;)
> 
> Visit [My Tumblr](http://larryismyotpuniverse.tumblr.com/) if you wish! And don't forget to have a lovely day! :)

Harry spent the whole next day fidgeting like an idiot. He couldn’t stop fixing his hair or adjusting his shirt. He really cared about looking good for Louis. He’d never confirmed if this little thing was supposed to be a date or not because no one ever seemed to clarify those things anymore. Regardless, he planned to look hot. He’d picked out his tightest jeans and a white t-shirt, he hoped it looked okay.

He was so nervous. This seemed like a pivotal moment. Like what ever happened on this maybe-date would determine the relationship between he and Louis. Maybe he was just imagining things but it seemed that he and Louis were dancing around each other. He’d never told Louis that he was gay but he’d never told him he was straight either. And Louis had straight up admitted that he liked Harry. Was it really that crazy that Harry assumed that this would be a date?

Louis was waiting in the parking lot, leaning against his Porsche and holy shit. Harry about had an asthma attack. Louis looked spiffy as fuck. His hair was quiffed up, extra sexy, showing off his bright blue eyes. He wore his all black vans, and tight black jeans rolled up at the ankle. Harry’s favorite part was probably the fact that Louis wore a simple black blazer over a band t shirt. It was so Louis.

“Wow,” Harry’d greeted, unable to peel his eyes away from Louis.

“Yeah,” Louis breathed, seemingly in the same situation as Harry was. “You look…great. Um, let’s get going shall we?”

Their elbows touched on the center console as they drove to the frozen yogurt place. The ride was mostly silent but they kept stealing little glances at each other. It had Harry’s stomach doing flips.

Louis insisted that he pay for it even when Harry tried to at least pay for his half of it with the money that Mrs. Higgins had given him that morning. She kept giving him these weird looks so he hoped he wasn’t being too obvious but she hadn’t kicked him out so he hoped that was a good sign.

“So. We should play like, twenty questions or something. I still feel like I barely know you.” Louis suggested when they’d sat down with their froyo.

“I feel like I know a bunch about you though.” Harry hadn’t meant for it to come out as creepy as it did.

“What’s my middle name?” Louis asked a breath of a challenge in his voice.

“William.” He answered, like it was the most obvious thing ever.

“Favorite footie team?”

“Rovers. C’mon, ask something actually hard, Louis.” He smiled, only blushing slightly.

“Would I go straight for J-Lo or Mariah?”

“Trick question, neither. You’d go straight for Beyoncé.”

“I’m impressed.” Louis smiled. “I’m pretty sure I only mentioned that in passing.”

“Well I remember it because I agree.” Harry smiled triumphantly. “Damn Jay Z.”

Louis laughed high and loud. It made Harry feel like he just won an Olympic medal or some shit. Louis is easily the class clown type. He makes everyone else laugh; the real gold comes when someone is actually funny enough to make him laugh.

“Okay well I want to get to know you too.” Louis said once the laughter faded. He seemed to notice the way that Harry tensed up. “It doesn’t have to be personal stuff, like your foster care stuff. I just want to know you. Like what’s your favorite band? Or are you a cat or dog person? Favorite starbucks drink? And possibly the most important, where did you get those jeans?”

“Um,” Harry laughed, “The 1975, cats, definitely cats, caramel frap, and Forever 21 I think.”

“Really? I didn’t peg you as the type to shop at Forever 21.” Louis observed, shoveling some froyo into his mouth.

“It was my sister’s favorite store so.” Harry shrugged, going more serious even though he tried not to.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t – “

“It’s fine. You didn’t know.” At first Harry hesitated but then he decided fuck it, he might as well admit it. “I just, it’s not that I don’t really like want to talk about it. It’s more like, these past months in the system and I’ve developed…trust issues. And I don’t want to offend you but I just, I don’t know. I’m not sure about you.”

Hurt flashed through Louis’ features.

“Fuck I’m sorry, I ruined this whole thing. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Harry backtracked, wondering how the fuck he thought it’d be okay to say that.

“No, it’s okay. And honestly, I don’t blame you. Our first impressions of each other weren’t that great. I mean I literally threw you out of my house. So I get it. I just hate that you think that you can’t trust me…What if…what if I told you something about me that’s like, personal so that you know you can trust me?”

“You don’t have to really, I – “

“My real dad left when I was two years old. I don’t like to talk about it much cause it honestly still hurts, even after all this time. He lives about ten minutes out of Doncaster and he uh, he’s never tried to contact me.” He picked at his frozen yogurt, not looking at Harry.

“Hey,” Harry reached out and put his hand over Louis’, squeezing it reassuringly. “That’s not right. You deserve way better than that and I’m sorry that you didn’t have that. And just so you know, that guy is totally missing out because he made a really great son.”

“You think?” He brought his eyes up, meeting Harry’s reluctantly.

“I know it.” Harry said firmly.

After they finished their frozen yogurt, Louis took Harry to the music store that Niall and Liam got Harry a gift card to.

“This place is so cool,” Harry said in awe, looking around at all the instruments and sheet music.

“Come sit with me,” Louis said, pulling Harry towards the grand piano in the middle of the store.

The two of the sat shoulder to shoulder as Louis started playing. Harry easily identified it as How to Save a Life from the Fray which made sense seeing as that was Louis’ favorite band. But like, he actually played it, like not just the simple version, the legit version. And next thing he knew, the two of them were singing it together right there in the store and there was a crowd of people gathering around them and watching with smiles on their faces.

“Oh my god, Louis, that was amazing,” Harry beamed, the people clapping as they finished. “You’re amazing.”

For the entire car ride home, Harry ranted about how amazing and great Louis was at everything. He could sing, he could play the piano, captain a football team, was there no end to the talents of one Louis Tomlinson? Harry has yet to find an end.

“So,” Louis said as they parked in front of the big grey house. “I had a great time.”

“Me too,” Harry admitted, blushing.

“Hey Harry?”

Harry turned to look at him and his heart was hammering in his chest. Louis was giving him that look. The same look that Harry thought he saw the other day. There was no denying it this time though, Louis wanted to kiss him. And he desperately wanted to kiss Louis too.

Louis started leaning towards Harry and Harry forgot what oxygen was. Their lips were so close, just centimeters away from each other and then Harry remembered.

“Wait, Louis, wait,” They were out in Louis’ car, in sight of at least a few of the windows of Higgins’.

“Shit, sorry, was that too much?”

“No it’s not that, it’s just, it’s complicated…” He didn’t know how to explain it without outing himself which he couldn’t really do.

“Okay,” Louis said, trying to recover. “Well how about we go out again, this Saturday? We could go to see a movie or something.”

“I can’t. I’m sorry it’s just – “

“God, please tell me I didn’t make this whole thing up? I thought that we were on the same page here. Fuck I made it all up in my head didn’t I? You’re straight aren’t you?”

“Uh…” Fuck, fuck, fuck. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that?

“Dammit Harry, you’re being confusing as fuck right now.” Louis said exasperatedly.

“That’s not why I can’t go. I would love to go with you – “

“Please just answer the question.”

“I…” Harry hesitated. What the fuck was he supposed to do? “I can’t answer that.”

“Alright,” Louis sighed, nodding to himself. “Okay,” He got out of his car, practically slamming the door. Harry followed suit.

“Louis, wait!”

“It’s been fun Harry.” He was walking away; no Harry couldn’t leave it like that.

“Please just let me explain!” He yelled after him, running to grab at his arm.

“Explain what? It’s pretty obvious to me. Look, I’m sorry but I don’t date people in the closet.”

“Well that’s kind of fucked up.” Harry hadn’t meant to say that. Shit, this was not helping him.

“Is it though? Is it fucked up that I’m tired of being someone’s experiment? Is it fucked up that every single boyfriend I’ve ever had has been “closeted” letting me fall for them before they realize; ‘hey I’m actually pretty straight, sorry mate.’ I know, it’s so fucked up of me to just want a boyfriend who will be proud of me instead of hiding me like I’m a shame. Pretty fucked up huh?” Louis had a single tear running down his cheek, out of instinct, Harry went to hug him. “No, I’m sorry Harry. I’m gay. And I can’t – I can’t let myself fall for you.”

“I’m visiting my family’s grave,” Harry admits quietly, tears of his own streaming down his face. “That’s why I can’t do Saturday.”

“I’m sorry,” He says, wiping away his tears. “That’s horrible. I’m um, I’m going to go inside, I have to make dinner for Lottie. See you around.”

“Wait, please,” Harry wanted to yell it out. ‘I’m so fucking gay, Louis; I’ve never been in the closet. I’d be so proud to be yours. We could snog on a stage for millions of people to see and I wouldn’t care.’ But no words came out and he just stood there, watching until Louis disappeared behind his front door.

He stormed into the house, not even paying attention when Paul had pulled up into the driveway.

“Hey Har – “ Josh tried. He didn’t even get to finish, Harry was storming up the stairs. He stomped straight to Leigh-Anne’s room, barging in. He could see that she was watching videos about Ellen on her computer but that wasn’t important. He couldn’t help but lash out at her.

“I fucking hate you.” He said, tears still streaming down his face.

“What? Harry, I – “

“No.” He interrupted with so much ferocity, she immediately went quiet. “I fucking hate you. I don’t think you even can comprehend how much you’ve fucked up my life.”

“I didn’t make you choose to be gay. That wasn’t me; you did that all on your own.” She bit back.

“I did NOT choose this, are you fucking kidding me?! Fuck you. Just fuck you. You know what I did choose? I CHOSE to HIDE it. Because of you. You and your fucking bigotry.” Harry was absolutely fuming.

“You know what? Fine. You go out there and you tell mom that you like it up the arse. Oh but before you do that, make sure you pack your bags. And congratulations, you’ll be the first kid that they didn’t find good enough to adopt!”

“Hey!” Ed came bursting into the room just as Harry broke down in tears, like legit, loud sobs. “What’s going on in here? Harry, what’s – “

“Better not let him get too close Ed.” Leigh-Anne snarled, only causing Harry to cry even harder.

“What the fuck, Leigh-Anne?!” Ed yelled, pulling Harry into his arms.

“What’s going on in here?” This time it was Lou, who went to Leigh-Anne, who’d started tearing up herself. “Why’s Harry crying? Why are you crying? Why is everyone crying?”

“C’mon, Harry,” Ed led Harry out of the room and to the room that he and Harry shared. Harry was glad for it because he couldn’t even see, he was crying so hard, and loudly. It was actually pretty disgusting but Harry was hardly in a state to care.

“I want my mom,” Harry whispered out, feeling like he was about to have a panic attack. She’d never do this to him. She’d never do this, she’d just hug him. “I want my mom! I want my mom! I want my mom!” He’d started hyperventilating, rocking himself in Ed’s arms.

“Mom! Dad!” Ed yelled over Harry’s demands. Lou came running into the room, looking panicked. “Go get mom and dad, Harry’s freaking out.”

“Okay.”

It was like none of this was actually happening around Harry. All he could think that he needed his mom, his mom would love him. She thought that he was good enough. “I want my mom, I want my mom, I want my mom,” He just kept repeating it.

“Harry, sweetie,” He heard Mrs. Higgins’ voice. “Can you take a deep breath for me?”

“Ed, do you know where Harry keeps his inhaler?” That was Paul, definitely Paul.

“I think in the front pocket of his backpack. Here,”

Harry was continuously mumbling, everything hurt, including his lungs. He felt like he was having an out of body experience. He did inhale when they put the inhaler to his lips which eventually did help a little.

“Harry,” Paul said gently, putting his arms around him. There were tears in his voice as he continued, “I know your mom is watching over you, okay? She’s here and she’s so proud of you, you’re so strong. I never had the pleasure to meet your family but I know that they were amazing. And they loved you so much. And Anne and I are here now, to try to love you half as good as they did okay?”

Harry spent most of the rest of the night in Paul’s arms.

-

The next morning in the Higgins home was very awkward to say the least. Harry refused to even look at anyone. They all saw his little episode, it was embarrassing. And he refused to look at Leigh-Anne, she was dead to him.

Mrs. Higgins and Paul kept looking at him all worried too. He kind of just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. And that’s not even including how he felt about the whole Louis thing.

At school, it was obvious that he was upset. In Cultural Geography, Niall kept trying to ask him what was the matter but he dodged it. What was he going to say anyway? Considering he couldn’t be who he really was, it’d all be lies anyway.

Saturday came pretty quickly and Harry was nervous. He wasn’t sure how he was going to react to seeing his family’s tombstones. It was all very, very surreal. He cried and cried and cried, hugging at the cold stone like it was his lifeline. It basically was. Not much happened other than that, but when he walked away that day, he felt a sense of healing that he never had before.

-

Zayn ended up being the one who pulled him out of the funk that he was in because of the Louis/Leigh-Anne situation. He had invited Harry over lunch to come to his house and hang out, just do lad stuff. It was nice feeling like he actually had friends that were guys. Sure, Ed and Josh were technically his friends but they were also his foster siblings so he always questioned the legitimacy of it. Because like he said, trust issues.

And then of course, there was Louis but obviously they weren’t friends. Louis hadn’t even spoken to him since the incident in his front yard. Whenever they saw each other in the hallway, Louis would act like he didn’t even exist. Which hurt worse than being shoved out of his house. Part of him wanted to just say fuck it and go over and snog the living hell out of Louis but he also loved how Mrs. Higgins legit stole your bacon if you weren’t ready on time in the morning or how Paul was seriously the hugest softy he’d ever met, or the way that Ed’s singing could be heard from everywhere in the house despite it’s size, or how Lou and Harry would compete to see who could get to the bathroom first in the morning or how Josh was getting better at trying to actually talk to Harry or even how Leigh-Anne seemed to be always trying to do the right thing, even when it wasn’t right. He wasn’t sure about a lot of things in life but he knew that he really wanted to stay with these people while he still could.

Zayn seemed to have noticed Harry’s sudden mood change, well everyone at their lunch table had noticed. He and Leigh-Anne were not talking at all. He wouldn’t even acknowledge her if she spoke to him, or if she spoke at all. At first, Perrie and Jesy tried to tell him how selfish and immature he was being. That is until he told them what she’d said to him the other night. Jade seemed to be the only one who remained on Leigh-Anne’s side, which Harry honestly found offensive. But he didn’t bring it up, he wasn’t ready to lose another friend, especially after he’d just gotten her back.

But Zayn, he and Harry had this unspoken respect for each other. So Zayn invited Harry over, even assuring that Perrie wouldn’t be there, being a third wheel would honestly just make him feel worse. Apparently he’d already asked Perrie and Jesy to head to Jade’s house or something so it’d just be them. Well, and the other foster kids and Zayn’s sisters but still.

Thankfully, Mrs. Higgins agreed to taking him over there after school, otherwise he’d probably have felt like shit. For some reason, he was kind of anxious. He’d never hung out with Zayn outside of a school setting so he wasn’t sure what to expect. But the moment he got there, he knew that he was freaking out over nothing.

“Hello, you must be Harry!” Zayn’s foster mom greeted ecstatically when he’d knocked on their door. Their house looked about the size of Harry’s old house back in Cheshire; it was actually kind of comforting to not feel like he was in a mansion.

“Yeah,” Harry’s cheeks pinked up just a little. “Nice to meet you.”

“Oh you too dear, you’re so polite! Well come on in, Zayn’s up in his room.”

He walked timidly and unsurely up to the room that he was directed to. When he walked in, Zayn was sitting in a bean bag, just chilling. He was playing video games and eating crisps.

“Harreh!” Zayn’s entire face lit up when he saw him and Harry just smiled. It was nice to have someone be that excited to see him.

“Zen!” He threw the same level of enthusiasm into it and then they both just started cracking up.

Hanging out at Zayn’s house was amazing. Harry was away from the Higgins’ house and the big grey house that Louis lived in and the empty swing at the park and all the drama. It was nice. He and Zayn literally just chilled out the whole time, talking aimlessly or sometimes not talking at all, just relaxing.

“How’d you know?” Harry asked as they laid, sprawled all over Zayn’s bed carelessly.

“Know what?” Zayn was still half watching the Avengers movie that they’d thrown in his dvd player.

“That this is exactly what I needed. Or better yet, that I even needed a night like this.”

“I think you just said basically the same thing in two different ways there.” He chucked and then paused the movie. “I don’t know, I’m just really good at reading people. I could tell that you were stressed out over something with Leigh-Anne and probably something with Louis seeing as you haven’t talked about him at all in a while. So, I invited you over. In truth, I had no idea what we were going to do. I managed to get a bit of weed in case you wanted to smoke up or something but I get the vibe that that isn’t your scene. I basically just went off of what you seemed like you enjoyed.”

“Wow. You’re like, observant I guess.”

“The system teaches different people different things. For me, I learned how to read people.”

“And I got trust issues. How is that fair?”

They both chuckled lightly before things turned serious again.

“Perrie refuses to tell me what happened between you and Leigh-Anne. And no one knows what the hell happened between you and Louis.”

“Are you asking me to tell you?”

“No, but I’m asking you to remember that you can tell me if you want to.”

“Damn, you’re good.” Harry says, already feeling all the words about to rush out. “It’s kind of complicated but also pretty simple if that makes sense.”

Zayn nods, looking like he is completely and totally invested in the conversation, like he’s already figuring out ways that he can make Harry feel better. No wonder Perrie loves him.

“Basically I’m gay and Leigh-anne told me that the Higgins’ are homophobic so she basically told me I have to go into the closet and she’s been like really fucking rude about it. And with Louis, he basically admitted he liked me and we sort of maybe went on a date but then we kind of had a fight because he won’t date closeted people and it’s all just so fucked up because I’m not in the fucking closet! Or at least I wasn’t. I mean. I don’t know, this whole thing just has me stressing out.”

“You know,” Zayn started, running his fingers through his quiff. “I’ve known Leigh-Anne ever since she was just a foster kid at the Higgins’ house. She never seemed like the type to rude about something like homosexuality.”

“Well she definitely was to me.”

“I’m not defending her. I’m just saying, the pieces don’t quite fit. I think something else is going on.”

-

Part of him is pissed off that Zayn would be on her side – even just slightly – but he also can’t ignore what he’d said. Maybe something else was going on. She had been doing her ‘thinking’ thing quite a bit lately. But what else could be going on? He had no idea.

School was getting intense with finals coming up in early April. Everyone was kind of freaking out over all the things that they had to do before the year was up and Harry was no exception. He’d been working tirelessly to make sure that he was caught up with all his homework and studying and it was exhausting. Things were even worse for Josh and Lou since they were graduating. Ed was supposed to be graduating but he’d failed out of a year before he got to the Higgins’ home so he’d be doing another year while Leigh-Anne and Harry both had two years left.

Amid all the craziness, Harry got brave. He decided he’d go see Louis. He’d tried to text him twice but the lad would not answer so Harry decided to face this head on. He wasn’t sure what gave him the courage to walk right up the path of Louis’ house and knock on the door but there he was.

“Harry!” Of course, it was Lottie who answered the door. Not that he didn’t like her, more he was hoping to surprise Louis so he wouldn’t have a way to get out of it. They needed to talk at least once more.

“Hey Lot. Can I come in?”

“Sure. I’m assuming you’re here for Louis?” There was a twinge of hurt in her voice which caused Harry to feel just a slight bit of guilt. At least he never led her on though.

“Yeah,” Still, his answer was slightly apologetic. “’s he downstairs?”

Lottie just nodded, letting him in. “Oh and Harry? Tell Leigh and Lou to stop by some time. They haven’t in a while.”

“Sure thing.”

He walked shakily down to where he knew that Louis would be. He knocked lightly.

“Charlotte, just go away. I’m not in the m – Harry.” Louis’ voice had gotten closer and closer until he’d actually opened the door. “What are you doing here?”

“I just came to talk to you.” He said miserably. He hadn’t realized how much he missed Louis until he was there, standing just a few feet away from him.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Louis couldn’t even make eye contact with him.

“Well it sure as hell seems like there’s something to talk about to me. Seeing as you can’t even look me in the eye, and you haven’t been since that night. You act like I don’t exist. Like I hurt you so badly when in all actuality, you never even let me explain.”

“Fine. Explain.”

“I – Saturday works. I can do Saturday.”

“That’s not an explanation.” Louis rolled his eyes.

“Louis please, okay. You don’t want to date me, that’s. That’s fine.” Harry gulped loudly. “But you’re a good person and I really. I don’t know. You care about getting to know me and friends just. Friends seems like a good term for us.”

Louis fell silent. It almost seemed like he wouldn’t say anything. But, “I should say no.”

“Buuuuut,” Harry felt a smile twitch onto his face.

“But,” He sighed. “I’m not entirely repulsed by the idea.”

Maybe Harry was overdoing it when he’d nearly jumped into Louis’ arms with joy. But it made Louis laugh and that is always the goal.

-

“So you guys made up just like that?” Ed asked over the strum of his guitar. The scratch of his pencil on paper was louder than Harry’s tired voice.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, can ask you something?” The scratching stopped.

“Sure.”

“Was Leigh-Anne making fun of you being gay?”

“Pretty much. I mean. I don’t know. I’d rather not talk about it to be honest.”

After Ed had went to bed, Harry laid awake in bed. Sleep was just not coming to him, and it was rather annoying.

“No,” He heard a soft whisper, coming from the other side of the wall. Following the whisper, soft, barely audible cries carried through the wall.

“No please,” And that’s when it hit Harry. Leigh-Anne was crying. “Not me. This can’t b-be.”


	8. Say What?!?!?!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiii :) I'm back with yet another chapter, and wayyy faster this time! And I was so tempted to leave you all with another cliffhanger but then I decided that I've put you poor souls through enough. Anyway, finally, it feels like this fic is having some actual plot development!! And I would LOVE to hear what you all have to say about the happenings in this chapter so leave me a comment or two maybe? :)
> 
> HUGE thanks to [my Beta, Dani](http://www.wattpad.com/user/1Dani5SOS) she has been so amazing and helpful! All mistakes in this fic are my own.
> 
> Also, drop by [my Tumblr](http://larryismyotpuniverse.tumblr.com/) if you want to ask about this fic or any of my fics or if you'd just like to say hello, I'm totally okay with that.  
> Alright, lovelies! I'm not too sure when the next update will be because I'm going to try and shift my focus to my [I Hear Symphonies In My Head Series](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2335790/chapters/5147333) and finals are coming up. But I will try my best! Once again, I hope you all have a lovely day!

If he were being honest, Harry wasn’t overly concerned with what he’d heard the night before. He was still very, very upset with Leigh-Anne. He was beginning to think that the real homophobe wasn’t Mrs. Higgins or Paul but Leigh-Anne herself. Part of him really wanted to call her on it, or tell the Higgins what was happening. But first of all, he really needed a stable home and secondly, you never snitch on your fellow foster siblings, its code. Unless you had a death wish. And the fact that she’s already adopted and he’s not raises the stakes even more. So, for now, his lips are remaining sealed.

As he was listening to Niall go on and on about the new song he’d learned on his guitar, Harry realized that he’d told Zayn that he’s gay. He didn’t even think about it at the time, it’s still weird for him to even think about it being a thing. On the bright side though, he and Louis are friends again. Something about Louis Tomlinson is addicting to Harry, like he can’t just let him leave his life like that.

“He’s in the basement.” Lottie answered the door one afternoon.

“You okay?” Harry couldn’t help but ask. She seemed upset and he wasn’t the type of person to ignore that.

“Meh.” She shrugged, letting Harry in the house.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing really it’s just…” She paused, looking as if she wasn’t sure if it would be wise to tell Harry about whatever it was that was bothering her. “Well, Leigh doesn’t ever come over anymore. I feel kind of replaced.”

“I’m sure she hasn’t meant to make you feel like that – “ What was he even saying, defending her like that?

“Not that she would even know how I’m feeling – she’s too busy with Jade to even notice.”

“I’m sorry.” There really wasn’t much else to say. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who was having problems with Leigh-Anne.

Footsteps could be heard coming closer so Harry went to meet Louis, leaving a sad Lottie behind.

“Hey,” Harry smiled, arms wrapping around himself shyly.

“Haz.” Louis returned the smile, “C’mon lets go to the park, if you want of course.”

The two of them sat on the same two swings they did when Louis first told Harry that he was gay. In reality, it wasn’t that long ago but it felt like years.

“The swings always remind me of flying.” Harry says into the silence.

“Hmm,” Louis kicks the dirt mound below the swing, silently encouraging Harry to continue.

“Sometimes I like to swing as high as I can and pretend that I’m flying. I know it’s dumb but, like I pretend that my family is there, flying next to me.” He had no idea where this came from, the sudden seriousness. But the way Louis watched him like he was literally hanging off of every word that Harry said was addicting.

“It’s not weird.” Louis looks Harry straight in the eye as he says it.

“Do you believe in Heaven and like, God and all that stuff?”

“Heaven, sure. God, not so much.”

“Why? If you don’t mind me asking. If you’re not comfortable talking about it – “

“I don’t know, I guess I just don’t take too kindly to the idea of someone making me gay and then sending me to the same place that my biological dad’s going to go when he dies. To me, I just don’t understand it. It’s like he created everything good, takes credit for every good thing in this world but as soon as something bad happens he’s like ‘whoa whoa whoa, I had nothing to do with that!’ And they say good overpowers evil so if he has the power to do good, he’s stronger than evil yet he chooses to let it happen in our lives. And religious people will try to say like ‘Oh well, he wanted you to go through that so that you can learn from it or you can draw closer to him’ or some bullshit like that. If I hadn’t of lost all the men in my life, maybe I would want to be closer to him but the more I think about it, the more I realize what a brainwashed load of bullshit all of it is. So we’re going to hell right, all the gay people? If we act on the fact that we want to fall in love with someone of the same gender? And it’s going to be so painful and shit but I just wonder, if we don’t even have our bodies anymore, how can we even feel that pain? And also, we only have one life. Don’t you think it’d be wiser to not waste it worshiping something you don’t even know is real but actually live life how you want it lived? Fuck.”

“Wow.” Is all that Harry can think of to say. Obviously Louis had been holding that in for a while. “You’ve got a bit of background with that, don’t you?”

“When I was younger, I went through a bit of a crisis. I thought going to church would turn me straight. But when it didn’t and I got tired of hearing how horrible I was, I quit going. When I came out, all my church friends either disowned me or lectured me about how ‘God doesn’t give you something you can’t handle’ and ‘what about that one girl you flirted with once, obviously you aren’t gay’ and shit like that. Sorry for kind of unloading all of that on you, I’ve just never really talked with anyone about it.”

“No, it’s fine. Honestly, I don’t mind. I guess I’m lucky that we never really had that problem in my family.”

“How do you mean?” Louis was looking at him suspiciously when Harry realized what he’d done.

“I – my sister. She was bisexual.” It was the quickest thing he could come up with. The pit of his stomach dropped because he just lied to Louis again. Well, maybe not. His sister had never expressed attraction to girls but that didn’t necessarily mean that she was heterosexual. Either way though, it felt like he was lying to Louis because he was hiding the truth about himself and that came like a slap in the face.

“Oh. Well that’s cool I guess.” The look on Louis’ face was unreadable. “So hey, Nialler’s having another party, you wanna go with me? Like. As friends. Obviously.”

“I’m not in the mood to drink though.” Harry had barely even gotten the sentence out before Louis was rushing to say,

“Oh, we don’t have to. We can stay home and like, hangout and stuff.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to.” Harry shot Louis a cheeky (and maybe just a dash flirty) smile. “Do you know how hilarious drunk people are. We could go and make fun of all the people doing stupid stuff.”

So that’s how they ended up at Niall’s house, the party nearly bursting at the seams. For a while, they stayed downstairs, yelling over the loud music, shuffling close to laugh at the people hanging off of someone they’ll regret in the morning or tripping and spilling their drink all over someone else. After a while though, Louis gestured that they should go upstairs.

“Just head to a room where we can get some privacy.”

Harry tried not to make any assumptions on what that meant so he burst through the first door that he saw. It probably wasn’t the best idea. A couple was in the room having loud sex on Niall’s – oh my god it’s Niall.

“Li – Liam yeah, fuck.”

“S-sorry,” Harry slammed back into Louis forcefully enough to knock the two of them back onto the floor. 

“Fuck,” Louis groaned. “You just elbowed me in the stomach.”

“Sorry,” He apologized again, trying to get up as gracefully as possible but ended up tripping on the rug and falling back down again.

“Harry,” Louis’ fond laugh carried throughout the hallway as he picked both of them up.

They cautiously opened the door to the bathroom, both breathing a sigh of relief when they found it empty.

“So are we not going to talk about what we just saw in that room?” Louis asked.

“You mean the fact that Niall bottoms? I could kinda sense that honestly. Like he seems like he’d be the type to be submissive. Although submissiveness doesn’t always equal bottom. Maybe it’s just like, bottom’s intuition or something but I could just sense it.”

“No, I meant that Liam and Niall are fucking?”

“Well obviously, Louis. Personally I think that Niall – “

“Wait, hold the fuck up. Did you just say “bottom’s intuition”?” Louis was looking straight into Harry’s eyes, probably seeing the exact moment that the panic hit.

“Oh, I meant like. With. So like in a hypothetical situation. I’m not really. I don’t – I’m a virgin so. Yeah.” Really?! I’m a virgin?! That’s the best that he could come up with? Harry barely restrained from face palming as his face instantly went bright red.

“Really?” A huge crash could be heard downstairs, making both boys jump. “I heard that you once had a foursome with three birds.”

“What?! Where the fuck did that come from?” Harry nearly laughed and then puked at the thought of having sex with a girl. Vaginas are a no go.

“Rumors, I guess.” Louis shrugged, easily brushing it off. “So you really are a virgin?”

“Well technically yes.” No, he should not have said that. He really, really didn’t want to talk about that.

“What do you mean “technically”?”

Just as Harry opened his mouth, Louis’ phone started going off, echoing inside the huge bathroom.

“Shit it’s my mom. Hello?”

Harry could hear yelling as Louis silently listened. The call only lasted a minute tops before Louis hung up, having barely said a word.

“We have to go. Our moms are pissed.”

“You mean Mrs. Higgins?” Harry questioned, following Louis out of the bathroom.

“Yes – “

“My boys!” Niall and Liam emerged from the bedroom, looking disheveled and thoroughly fucked. The two were so drunk that they were barely keeping each other up. Harry only snickered a little when Niall waddled down the stairs.

-

“Harry Edward Styles!” Mrs. Higgins yelled from the front door. “Get in this house this instant!”

Both Louis and Harry sent each other worried looks before heading to their respective homes.

“Go sit in the living room. Paul is getting out of the shower, I’m going to let him deal with this.”

Fear coursed through Harry; this was it. This was the moment when they were going to snap and Harry would find out how hard Paul could hit. His luck had run out. He sat alone in the living room for what seemed like an eternity. There were sounds of laughter upstairs and Harry wished he could be up there, listening to the song that Ed was writing for his biological dad or debating with Lou over which hair color Perrie should go with next. He’d even rather be up there with Leigh-Anne debating his sexuality, anything but waiting for the pain that he knew was certain.

“Harry,” Paul’s voice caused Harry to come back to reality. He walked over and sat on the coffee table in front of Harry, looking him dead in the eye.

“Sir,” Harry lowered his eyes to the hands twisting nervously in his lap.

“Don’t have to call me sir, Harry. Paul or dad is fine – “ Paul had reached out to touch Harry’s shoulder but Harry flinched back, gasping loudly.

“S-sorry sir – Paul. I – it won’t happen again.” 

“Harry look at me.” Paul’s voice was oddly calm. But sometimes that could be the most dangerous. Slowly, Harry lifted his eyes to match Paul’s.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

Those six words went straight to Harry’s heart. But still, “But I – I disobeyed, I deserve it. Mrs. Higgins clearly said no parties and it wasn’t – “

“Yes there is a rule in this household; no drugs, alcohol, or sex. But Harry when I so much as touch you, you flinch as if you were expecting a punch. I think that’s a bigger problem than sneaking out to go to a party and trying to get Ed to sneak you back in or, this time, coming home completely sober from the looks of it.”

“Wait, you knew about – ? Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t I get in trouble?”

“Well,” Paul sighed, “Anne and I can see that you’re a good kid. We can see that you’ve been through more than any seventeen year old should have to go through. And right now, we can see that what you need is love and stability.”

Harry sat there, trying to hide how surprised he was. He was honestly rendered speechless. How did he react to that? All he knew was that part of him just wanted to cry. For some reason, Paul always knew how to get straight to Harry’s heart.

“We do think that some sort of punishment is in order though. You have to be home before dinner every night for the next month. And, you and Leigh will be on bathroom duty for the next two weeks.”

“What happened to the love thing?” Harry mumbled aloud accidentally. For a second, he was afraid for back talking but really? He hated the idea of spending every night with Leigh-Anne discussing his wrongness over the combat cleaner. It made him kind of sad because in the beginning, he actually really did like Leigh-Anne and it just sucks that sometimes people aren’t’ what you think.

“Loving children isn’t about giving them everything they want; it’s about molding them into good, loving, kind, and functional members of society. That won’t happen without some discipline.”

“Why her though?”

“When my sisters and I would have a row, my mom would do the same thing that Anne and I am doing with you and Leigh. Bathroom duty. Something about being in close quarters with someone for extended periods of time makes you get over yourself.”

“We aren’t fighting.” Well, not in so many words.

“I know a lot more than you think I do.” Paul nearly smirked and then he was standing up and holding his arms out. “C’mere.”

And that time, Harry barely flinched when Paul hugged him.

-

“Hey so listen, um about what you may have seen,” Niall sat in class, pink-faced and fidgeting.

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry easily brushed it off, meaning what he said and hoping to console Niall.

“I’m not worried. Just, don’t say anything to anyone.”

“I won’t, I promise.” Harry pats Niall’s shoulder just a bit. “You shouldn’t be so caught up on this, it’s not that big of a deal to be with a guy.”

“Shhh,” Niall looked around paranoid. “Jesus, Harry.”

“Sorry,” He glanced around quickly, and just as he had thought, no one was paying attention. “It is okay though, you know.”

“Look,” Niall leaned super close, voice going into a mere whisper. “I’m not worried about the … gay thing. It’s more Liam. He sees how much crap that Louis from the team and especially Coach for being openly gay and he’s just … hesitant. I personally give no fucks. I’m the goalie so if we wanna win the game, the boys are gonna be good with me.”

“God, I fucking hate homophobes.”

“You seem very passionate about this.” Niall observed, sending Harry into a mini panic.

“Yeah well my sister is – was bisexual so.” And there it was again, the self-hate from being such a liar. Fuck. And also the cruel reminder that his sister wasn’t just off at ManU.

“Hmm,” Niall hummed, turning back to their assignment. “Well that’s cool.”

At lunch, Louis stood with Harry waiting for the bell warning them to get back to class. He looked so freaking cute with his beanie and galaxy toms. His eyes were so blue, it was a bit mesmerizing and Harry honestly couldn’t control the (probably creepy) stare.

“You okay today? You seem a little off.” Louis looked genuinely concerned and Harry just bit the skin of his knuckle, trying to refrain from thinking dirty thoughts. He was mostly succeeding .

“Yeah I’m fine. Just some issues at home.” Harry shrugged, feigning nonchalance.

“Like what? I didn’t get you in too much trouble last night did I? I swear, I didn’t mean – “

“Lou, it’s fine. I just got the chore of cleaning the bathrooms with Leigh-Anne for the next two weeks.”

“You never did say what happened between the two of you.” Louis says it offhandedly but it’s obvious that he wants to know about what happened. And she’s the damn reason that he can’t say anything.

“We just had a fight the other day. I ended up crying and I think she did too and it was just a mess.”

“Why did she make you cry?” Louis’ face contorted into the angry pout of a puppy and Harry just really wanted to kiss him. This whole staying just friends thing was going to be really hard.

“She just…said some not so great stuff. I don’t know.” Harry started blushing just realizing how attracted to Louis he is.

“Well – “ His response was interrupted by the school bell and then the inevitable mob of students rushing back to class. “Text me later, yeah?”

“Obviously.” Harry smiled, ignoring how the inner part of his dimples always got a bit more red when he blushed. And also ignoring the nagging feeling that if he wanted to stay with the Higgins family, he needed to try not to be attracted to Louis.

-

“So, how many weeks of school left?” Mrs. Higgins asked that night as the whole family was sat around the dinner table.

All five kids were a chorus of ‘two’. Leigh-Anne piped up immediately,

“L.A. in two weeks, yeahhhh!” Maybe it was being a bit cynical of Harry to wonder how she could be happy knowing that she was keeping him from happiness. Or maybe keeping him happy. Depending on how you look at it.

“Actually,” Paul commanded the table with his tired voice. “I have had some scheduling conflicts so we’re leaving a week later than originally anticipated.”

“Well that’s still good. I can work with that.” Lou said, tapping her fork rhythmically on her plate as she spoke.

“Lou, sweetie.” Mrs. Higgins reprimanded.

“Sorry,” And the rhythmic tapping ceased.

Little things like that were what made Harry want to stay in this house so bad. It was like he’d taken a step back into his real home. His family wasn’t there obviously but maybe these people could come in second. He just wished that he didn’t have to hide part of himself to keep them, for them to want to keep him.

After dinner and a good hour of homework, Harry found himself sitting on the bathroom floor, scrubbing at the bathtub. A few minutes after Harry had gotten settled in, Leigh-Anne walked in. The two made eye contact but no words were exchanged as she started cleaning the mirrors. The entire time that they cleaned, there was nothing but silence. Finally, after an hour they were finished. The only interaction they had was when they both tried to walk out of the door at the same time and they bumped shoulders. Harry mumbled a quick sorry and got out of there as quickly as he could.

In their room, he found Ed packing an overnight bag.

“Going somewhere?” Harry flopped down on the amazingly comfortable mattress, exhausted.

“Yeah, mom and dad are letting me stay at Ellie’s house for the night. We’re in this project together. I still can’t believe they agreed to it! I’ll fill you in later, she’s almost here. Bye H! Have fun with having your own room for the night.”

Oh yes, Harry thought, he will.

After about ten minutes had passed and Harry was sure that Ed wasn’t coming back, he lay in bed, smoothing his hands over his t-shirt. It’d been awhile since he’d had the chance to, get some release. It didn’t take long for Harry to start getting hard. He ran his hand down past his torso, gripping at himself until he couldn’t take it anymore and had to properly touch himself.

Harry whined as he pushed his hand into his trousers and got a hand around himself. He didn’t even stop himself from thinking about Louis. Maybe it was a bit creepy to unashamedly think about his friend while wanking but fuck it, Harry didn’t care. The image of Louis choking on his cock made its way into Harry’s brain and suddenly that’s all he could think about.

He imagined Louis licking sweetly at the tip before going as far down on Harry’s cock as he could, drooling everywhere so that it dribbles down his length slowly and torturing. He imagines Louis putting his fingers at Harry’s lips to keep Harry’s moans from reaching the people in the other rooms or, oh fuck, to get them wet for prepping Harry.

Harry groaned, using the precome leaking from the tip to glide his hand. Fuck. His hips were twitching off the bed every time the imaginary Louis in his brain’s finger circled around his rim. God, he just really wanted Louis to fuck him. Holy fucking shit, he just. If he weren’t lazy, he’d probably dig out the lube that he had hiding somewhere but eh, he’ll save that for another time.

He imagined Louis starting off slow, wanting to make sure Harry was well adjusted. But then he’d start getting pounded once Louis had his fill of teasing Harry with the agonizingly slow thrusts. He’d be hitting Harry’s prostate and it would be so great. Fuck. He imagined Louis tensing up and how it would feel to have Louis come inside him and that thought had Harry’s hips jutting up, orgasm washing over him.

Once Harry finally came down from the high of his orgasm, he did feel guilty. But he put that at the back of his mind and cleaned himself up before falling asleep.

-

Harry was extra careful the next morning. He woke up feeling even more guilty so in an attempt to make himself feel better, he pulled out the purple panties. He’d only ever worn them to school once and nothing happened but he was paranoid about it.

At lunch, both he and Louis sat at their own table. Louis just seemed to sense that Harry didn’t want to sit through Jade and Leigh-Anne laughing too loudly at each other’s dumb jokes (and that’s saying something coming from Harry) or watching Zayn and Perrie snog grossly.

“You have pretty much the weirdest taste in music, Haz.” Louis laughed, pretending not to enjoy the indie band that was coming through the headphones that the two shared.

“Shut up,” Harry pushed Louis, smiling dumbly. “You’re just jealous because you don’t feel music like I do.”

“Is that so?” Louis had this flirty smile on his face, eyes crinkling ever so slightly. The pair got up from the table to put their trays away. “You are so funny, hipster boy.”

“I’m not a hipster – “

“Get out of my way, homo!” A boy from the rugby team bumped Harry into, causing his tray to spill to the floor. Luckily there wasn’t any leftover food, but still.

“Watch it.” Louis’ voice immediately took on this dominant nature, eyes shooting daggers.

“Sorry man,” The rugby boy held his hands up in surrender, walking away.

Harry bent over to pick up his tray, immediately freezing when he felt the cool air on his naked hip. He straightened up quickly, turning to see Louis looking away. He wasn’t sure if Louis saw his exposed panties or not but his face clearly showed how embarrassed he was.

“So um, did you catch that episode of the X Factor last night?” Louis asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“No, I missed it. I was cleaning toilets with my best friend in the entire universe.” Sarcasm was clear in Harry’s tone.

“What?!” Louis gasped, mock offended. “I thought I was your best friend in the entire world.”

“Universe, Lou.” Harry reminded, dimples making a show.

“Oh, excuse me. Best friend in the entire universe.” Louis held his hand over his heart dramatically and the two burst into laughter, barely hearing the bell ring.

-

Harry was nearly fuming that night. Paul and Mrs. Higgins had sent him up to start cleaning the bathroom right in the middle of his show and there he was, alone. He’d done the mirrors, sink, and was nearly finished with the bathtub and Leigh-Anne still hadn’t shown. After a few more seconds, Harry sighed frustratingly and threw off his gloves.

He stomped into Leigh-Anne’s room prepared to start yelling but the problem was that she wasn’t in there. He was just about to stomp down the stairs when he passed his and Ed’s room, the light off. Harry paused, a thought passing through his mind. As quietly as he could, he opened their door and sure enough, there she was. She was lying in the dark on Ed’s bed.

“Leigh-Anne?” Harry whispered into the darkness.

“Shit!” She jumped up, looking wild as Harry turned the light on. Her eyes were red and puffy, the clear signs that she’d been crying. “Oh shit, the bathroom, I forgot.”

“It’s okay,” Harry finds himself saying. Seeing her so clearly distraught immediately dissolved some of Harry’s anger. “I uh, I’ve finished most of it except for the toilets and the floors.”

“I can go finish it.” She started to get up, shuffling awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I just spaced it.”

“Um, is everything okay?” Harry almost hated the fact that he can’t just let her go finish her part and let her be upset. She had been horrible to him and yet here he was, caring about her well-being. 

“Yeah,” Leigh-Anne sniffled, trying to move past Harry again, clearly feeling awkward.

“No,” Harry moved in front of the door so that she couldn’t leave. “You’re crying.”

“So what?” She tried once again to move past Harry.

“So you’re not okay.” Harry really wasn’t sure what he was doing but he knew that he couldn’t keep seeing her upset, she needed a hug or something. “What’s going on?”

“Why do you even care, Harry?!” Her eyes were filling again, hands pulling awkwardly at her curls.

“Just. You seem like you need a hug.” He reached out and pulled her into a hug.

“Harry,” She whispered, voice cracking. It didn’t take long before she started softly crying. “I’m sorry, Harry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Harry whispered back to her.

“It’s not,” She pulled away from the hug, looking to the ground. “I’ve been such a dick to you about … everything. And it’s not okay.”

“Yeah you have been.” Harry admitted.

“Well, don’t worry about the bathroom, I’ll finish it.” Leigh-Anne left the room, wiping at her tears.

-

The next week passed by so quickly, Harry didn’t even realize that finals week was upon them.

“Harry, c’mon I’ve barely seen you,” Jesy complained to Harry as the pair walked into school on the first day of finals.

“I’m still grounded.” Harry groaned.

“Until when? Aren’t you going away with the Higgins?”

“The end of this week. So as soon as I’m ungrounded, I’m going to see if I can come over.”

“Sounds good. Oh hey Louis,” Jesy smiled, winking discreetly at Harry.

“Jes.” Louis nodded. “So listen, Haz, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh look at that,” Jesy pulled out her silent phone. “I better take this. See you guys later.”

Harry couldn’t help but giggle into his hands, a blush forming on his cheeks. “Anyway, um so what’s up?”

“So my mom is going out this weekend and Lottie is staying with my grandparents. I was thinking you could come over and we could hang out.”

“Sure. Is it going to be a party?” As much as Harry enjoyed the last time that they went to a party together, he’d rather not get grounded again.

“Nah. I was thinking it could just be the two of us.”

“Oh,” He tried not to sound overly pleased with that knowledge. And he also tried not to think too much into it. They had promised they’d be just friends.

“Are you okay with that?” Louis’ face contorted into one of worry. “I mean, I’m not trying to like, hit on you or something.”

“Oh no, I know. Don’t worry, I’m not like. But yeah, I would love to.”

-

His exams were all fairly easy for the day, just emotionally draining more than anything. He was half asleep by the time he’d made it to the Volvo. He’d made it just after Ed, meaning he’d get passenger seat.

“Harry, c’mon wake up, we’re here.” Ed shook him awake gently.

Paul was already sitting at the dinner table, looking actually upset.

“Can everyone gather around the table please, we need to have a family meeting.” Mrs. Higgins said, coming to stand behind Paul, massaging at his shoulders.

“We heard from your social worker today, Harry.” Paul began and Harry’s heart dropped.

“No,” He whispered. His social worker had said, he’d said that Harry would be here until he was eighteen. Even the Higgins had said that he’d –

“It’s not what you think, don’t worry.” Paul shot Harry a comforting look. “But there is a problem.”

“Well what’s the problem? He’s still going to stay here right?” Josh piped up from behind the refrigerator door.

“Yeah he will. During our trip too it seems.” Mrs. Higgins said to them all.

“What?!”

“It’s against the law to take Harry out of the country with us since we haven’t officially adopted him.”

“So what does that mean for me then? Am I staying here?” Harry asked, trying not to be too bummed about not going to L.A. More than that though, he’s relieved about not having to leave this family.

“We’ve talked to Jay Tomlinson and she’s agreed to help keep an eye on you while we’re gone. I’m sorry about this, we should have made sure about this before we got your hopes up.”

“Oh no, it’s totally fine – “

“No, it’s not fine! Harry was the one who picked L.A. It wouldn’t be right to go without him! It’s not fair, it just isn’t fair!” To his surprise, Leigh-Anne was the one who spoke furiously to his defense.

“The tickets are nonrefundable.” Paul informed regrettably. “And the hotel is already paid for. I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“It’s seriously okay. I’ll…I’ll just go on the next trip, yeah?” Harry’s heart ached, showing just a little of how much he wanted to be in this family. Also, more time with Louis didn’t seem like that bad of a time to Harry.

“For sure, bud.” The tone in Paul’s voice sounded so truly sorrowful that Harry just wanted to hug him.

After dinner, he and Leigh-Anne were cleaning the bathroom yet again. It was their last time (Anne had said after the news had been broken that they were being let off of the hook early).

“Thanks for um, earlier.” Harry said, breaking the silence. Even after the little moment they’d had, the two were still walking on eggshells around each other.

“It’s not a problem…thanks for um, the other day.” Leigh-Anne wasn’t looking up from where she was cleaning the toilet.

“It’s okay.” Harry paused, unsure of what he should say next. “You know, I am still here if you need to talk. Despite all the… stuff between us.”

“Thank you. And I’m sorry.” She finally looked up. “I’m sorry for what I said and sorry for how I acted.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yes,” She agreed even though she looked so afraid of what his question may be.

“You really don’t want me to say anything about me being gay because you want me … as your … brother?”

“I…” Her eyes dropped. “Yeah.”

“So it’s not because you’re like, uncomfortable with my being gay? Or like, you’re homophobic or something.”

“Oh god no. I’m not. Jade, she’s pansexual and I totally accept her and stuff. I just. Mom and Dad aren’t cool with it. And I don’t want to lose you.”

“Okay.”

“So can we go back to being cool with each other? Contrary to what you think, I actually do like you.”

“Sure.” Harry laughed, running the cloth along the faucet.

-

“Harry,” Paul knocked on Ed and Harry’s door, opening it as he came in. “You’ve got company.”

“Am I allowed to have company?” Harry was sitting on his bed, studying for his finals.

“Well, I think you’re allowed an exception.” Paul winked and opened the door further, letting Louis in.

“Louis, what are you doing here?” Harry asked pleasantly, closing his book and trying not to act too pleased.

“Missed your baby face.” Louis cooed at him, tackling him on his bed, hands roaming his sides and tickling him evilly.

“Stop!” Harry gasped through his laughter. “Stop, please!”

Louis finally did stop, somehow ending up on top of Harry with Harry begging his dick to not get too interested. He could feel Louis’ breath on his lips and god, what he wanted to do in that moment. Harry was pretty sure that his face was basically begging Louis to kiss him. And the way Louis’ eyes kept drifting down to Harry’s lips told Harry that he may just actually do it. Harry’s eyes drifted closed delicately and he swore he could hear his heart beating. He felt Louis move and his breath stuttered –

“Harry, Pitch Perfect is on downstairs, do you and Louis want to come watch?” It was Paul, having about the worst timing in the history of ever.

Harry pushed Louis away so fast, Paul didn’t even seem to notice the position they were in. “Oh um, another time. I think Louis was just talking about um, the war. The world war um, one. World War One. His exam is tomorrow so.”

“Okay that’s cool. You guys study hard!” And with that, he left, leaving the door open.

“So um.” Louis was sitting on the far end of Harry’s bed, hands clasped in his lap.

“Sorry about that, I just. I – “ Harry awkwardly stuttered his way through, face flustering.

“Alright, enough awkward.” Louis clapped his hands on his knees. “I wanted to see if you wanted to come play footie with me in the park.”

After convincing the Higgins, the pair ended up in the grassy part of the park, lazily kicking the ball around. Well, more like Louis running after the ball that Harry had properly aimed or Harry tripping over the ball.

“This is the best time I’ve had in years!” Louis laughed breathlessly.

“Go on, take the piss. I know I’m shit at this.” Harry laughed, somewhat insecure next to Louis’ talented self.

“I’m not, this is actually fun.” There were lights in Louis’ eyes and Harry was smitten as fuck. “How do you do it? I play with Liam and Niall all the time and never have as much fun as I’ve had with you today.”

“It must be my charming good looks.” Harry was a flirt at heart, honestly he couldn’t help himself. Maybe it was a little to publicly gay to flirt with a guy but they were in a fucking field, no one would know; it wasn’t hurting anyone.

“Must be.”

-

It was nearly pitch black outside by the time Louis and Harry made it back home. Anne was fast asleep on the couch, snoring so loudly, Harry was sure she’d rupture a lung. Paul was next to hurt, rhythmically running a hand through her hair. It was too much cute for him to deal with. Just as Harry started up the stairs,

“Harry are you headed up to your room?” Paul whispered from the couch.

“Yeah,” He stopped and turned, watching Paul. “Could you send Leigh-Anne down when you get up there please?”

“Sure thing.”

He tiptoed to her room, hoping that he didn’t have to wake her. But when he slid the door open, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Leigh-Anne was fucking awake alright. She was on her bed with Jade’s tongue down her throat and hand down her pants. What the actual fuck?!!

“Oh my god, Harry!”

The two split apart fast, both babbling awkward words but Harry wasn’t listening.

“What the fuck is going on?” He demanded, staring daggers at both of the girls.

“It’s not what it looks like, I swear!” Leigh-Anne tried.

“Really, Leigh?” Jade turned to Leigh-Anne, looking hurt.

“No, I mean, I just. I – “

“Whatever,” Jade straightened herself up and walked over to Leigh and Lou’s (speaking of, where was Lou?) window. “Harry, you and I can talk tomorrow.”

As soon as Jade was gone, Leigh-Anne started sobbing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Without saying a word, Harry went and sat next to Leigh-Anne. He was furious as fuck but he had enough self-control to hold it in until a later time, when the entire house wasn’t trying to sleep. Or fuck Harry’s best friend. Whatever.

“Harry please, before you get mad, let me explain.” She begged, trying to calm herself down.

“I just want you to know,” Harry began, rubbing her back comfortingly. “That I totally accept you. Knowing that you like to do stuff with birds doesn’t change a thing about how I feel about you. You’re still my foster sister. And that, Leigh-Anne, is how you’re supposed to react when you aren’t a lying, hypocritical homophobe. Not making someone feel bad about themselves and nagging constantly to make sure that the homo is hidden. If I were a fucked up person, I’d throw all the words you said to me back at you because while you’re over here fucking one of my best friends, I was trying so hard not to fall in love because I want a stable fucking family.

“Like, I honestly cannot fucking believe you right now. You lied to me over and over. Every time you were making sure that I had my homosexuality in check, you were sneaking a girl into your room. That is so fucked up and I am so hurt. Do you know how much you hurt me? Fuck, Leigh-Anne.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Harry, please.” She was practically hyperventilating. “I know that I fucked up. I was so scared of what I’ve been feeling my whole life. And I thought that I could make it go away. Until I met Jade. I’m not just physical with her, you know. I’m like, in love with her. And that scares the shit out of me and I just wasn’t ready, I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I almost told you, in the bathroom when we were cleaning. I almost said it then but I got scared and I’m just so sorry!”

“Wait so this whole thing has been a lie? With Paul and Anne? You lied about all of it because you weren’t comfortable with your own sexuality?!” Throughout this whole fight, Harry had managed to keep his voice down, ‘saving it for later’ be fucked. They were talking about this now. However, he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to control his volume.

“No! No, I never lied about mom and dad. They seriously don’t accept gay people. They don’t accept … us. Ever since I got here, mom’s always been stressing about why I haven’t dated any boys yet. Like every time I turn around, she’s asking me about boys. Just, trust me, they will kick both of us out if they find out about us.”

“Do you swear that you’re not lying to me about this right now?” Harry asked skeptically.

“Why would I lie about this?”

“Leigh-Anne.”

“Yes! I swear, Harry! I do care about you as a brother and I want you around for a long time! The only thing I lied about was me. And I’m sorry. Please, please forgive me.”

“Before the accident,” Harry started, looking down at his hands. “I never had to come out to my family. They always just sort of … knew. And they always made me feel loved and accepted. Because of that, I never felt ashamed of who I was. Until I came here. I’ve been so fucking mad at you for these past few weeks, like fucking furious. At one point, I swore you were dead to me. But you never got to feel like I did. To be able to come home and talk about that cute boy in class, or I guess girl in your case, with your mom or scope out the birds with Ed and Josh in the mall. And I’m sorry for that. I don’t think it excuses what you did though. You also know firsthand the struggle that it’s been for you and I don’t know why you wouldn’t just tell me so we could go through this together.”

“So you don’t forgive me?” She asked in a small voice.

“I don’t know. I’m still so mad but I also understand. I don’t know at this point, Leigh-Anne. Plus,” Harry said in a much lighter tone. “Jade is one of my best friends, like really?!”

Leigh-Anne laughed softly. “Hey, you should be mad at her, she kissed me first!”

“Oh trust me, she’s going to get it tomorrow!” Harry assured, smiling. He wasn’t sure how the fuck he went from pissed to playful but fuck, did anything about his life make sense?

“Leigh-Anne!” Paul came bursting into the room, tone disapproving. “Did I just see Jade Thirlwall running across our backyard?!”

“She was here because of me!” Josh came out of nowhere, taking all the blame.

“Really?” It was easy to see that Paul didn’t believe it.

“Yeah, I um. Well, she asked me out and I turned her down and she ran out crying.”

“Okay, well, don’t let it happen again.” And then he was gone. Josh merely sent Leigh-Anne a wink before he was gone too.

“Jesus that was close.” Leigh-Anne sighed.

“Too close.” Harry agreed.


	9. Smiles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update notes at a later time. I'm exhausted at the moment but I couldn't wait to get this out to you all. Have a lovely day!

It was the last day of school and Harry didn’t know how to feel. He’d been with the Higgins for two entire months already. Before them, he was bouncing from place to place, staying as little as two weeks and at max, an entire month. He’d been moved so many times in his short time in the system, most other foster kids were astounded. Harry’d always felt that it was because he wasn’t wanted anywhere. But, two months here has shown Harry that there is someone, a family that wants him. He’s not ready to delve into what that truly means for him or how he feels about it, but he can accept that it’s there and that’s probably the most progress that he’s made since his family passed.

Harry was late down to breakfast and he wasn’t even that mad that Anne had stolen his bacon. All he could do was hug her.

“What’s up, love?” She asked, seeming to sense that he was feeling emotional.

“Not much,” Harry replied cheerfully. “Just thank you.”

He didn’t give her time to reply but he had a feeling that she understood what he meant. Harry was out the door in seconds. Normally, he drove with the rest of the Higgins kids but as soon as he left the front door, Louis was beckoning him over to the Porsche. And really, who turns down a ride in a Porsche with a fit driver?

“You seem happy today,” Louis observed once they were settled in his car.

“It’s the last day of school!” And really, that wasn’t a lie. He was extremely happy for long nights and late mornings and no cares in the world (kind of). But it wasn’t entirely why he was happy.

“Yeah. Hard to believe that I’ll be in my last year next year.”

“Lucky! I still have two years left.” Harry’s thoughts drifted to the cap and gown that he’d seen both Josh and Lou with. In two days, he’d be attending his second graduation ceremony. The last time he’d been to one, it was Gemma’s. And suddenly he wasn’t feeling nearly as chipper as he was before.

“Sorry,” Louis seemed to notice the shift in Harry’s mood.

“You’re my best friend.” Harry had startled himself a little with the blunt words but they weren’t untrue.

“Really?” Louis wasn’t looking at him but Harry figured that was a good thing, seeing as he didn’t want to die in the parking lot of their school. As soon as the car was successfully parked, Louis turned to face him. “Why?”

“Um?” That wasn’t really the reaction that he’d been expecting. He stared at Louis in confusion. How was he supposed to answer that?

“I just mean like, you’ve got Perrie and Jesy and Jade and all of the Higgins kids. Why me?”

“Because you’re you.” There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation. “You’re different than the rest of them.”

Louis’ answering smile is so bright that it shines straight to Harry’s heart. “You’re my best friend too, ya know.”

Eventually, they have to leave the car and head into school to take finals. Harry wasn’t as nervous as he figured he’d be. Studying hard has it’s benefits, it turns out. Again, by the end of the day, he’s emotionally and mentally exhausted but confident that he did well. Lou and Josh both have to stay late to practice for graduation so all of the Higgins kids decided to hang around aimlessly until they were ready to leave.

Ed had decided to meet with Niall to jam together in the music room while Leigh-Anne was off texting or something. Jade had stayed to be with Leigh-Anne but Harry decided that they needed to have that little talk that they planned the other night.

“So,” Harry began. “Leigh-Anne.”

“I know,” Jade started in a rush. “I know that she’s your sister and I’m one of your best friends but – I fell in love with her. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t mean to. And I’m sorry that I hid it and didn’t tell you. She’s fragile about it, you know? With the way Paul and Anne are, we had to be careful. And she didn’t really, doesn’t accept herself. She’s got a long way to go. And I just wanted to be a good girlfriend. But, I swear I had no idea that she was forcing you in the closet. I didn’t know! I mean I was curious because you never talked about it anymore but I just figured you were, like, I don’t know. Upset because the Higgins were homophobic. Or something. I’m sorry, I’ve been a shit friend.”

“Are you done?” He prompted, one eyebrow raised.

“Yes. But, don’t yell at me too badly. Even though I deserve it.” She hid her face in her burgundy hair, long nails pulling through the tangles nervously.

“I’m not going to yell.” After that night, Harry never thought he’d be saying this. When he first thought about this talk with Jade, he imagined yelling, hands being thrown through the air carelessly, and a bit of wild eyes. But there he was, calmly leaning against the wall.

“You’re not?” The surprise was evident in her voice.

“Do you not know me at all?” Harry laughed, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve never been the kind of guy to get pissed at someone for who they fall in love with. I generally try to stray from that kind of thing. If you want to be with Leigh-Anne, then by all means, go ahead.”

“That’s it? You’re not mad at all?” She looked to him incredulously.

“I’m pissed at the situation. I’m angry that society still won’t let us be who we truly are. I’m angry that Leigh-Anne felt that she had to make sure that I wasn’t being ‘too homosexual’ in order to keep me around. And sure, I’m mad that all this has kept me from telling the one boy that I like –”

“Louis?” She asked softly, smiling knowingly at him.

Harry’s smile just deepened, dimples making an appearance. “But I will never get angry with you because of who you love, that I can promise you.”

“Well that was a bit anticlimactic.” Jade joked. “C’mere.”

She pulled him into a hug and it felt like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He and Jade were going to be okay. Harry was going to be okay. And that was just about the best feeling in the world.

“Hey, I’m going to be home alone for nine days. You and Jes and Pez need to come over. I feel like we all got so wrapped up in our own things that I haven’t been able to properly hang out with my girls.”

“I’m so down!”

-

The first few notes of the graduation song start sifting through the auditorium and Harry tried not to be upset. He had Ed on one side and Anne on the other. Feelings of guilt just wouldn’t stay away. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy for Josh and Lou, he just couldn’t stop thinking about how just a year before, he was sitting next to his mom and Robin, watching Gemma graduate.

“Are you okay?” Ed whispered to Harry as they listened to the Valedictorian drone on and on about some inspirational shit.

Harry shrugged. He really didn’t want to make this day about him. This day was about celebrating Lou and Josh. He didn’t dare spare a glance back at Ed, he just silently watched the ceremony and before long, they were announcing the names.

“Joshua Devine, moving on to University of Westminster, Building Engineering.” Harry cheered brightly for Josh even though he never got very close to him. And when the drone of names finally got to Lou, he cheered even brighter.

“Louise Teasdale, moving on to Ray Cochrane Beauty School.”

When it was over, that’s when it got even harder for Harry to pretend that he was okay. They were all taking pictures and laughing and smiling and it was overwhelming. Every time he stood next to a graduate, he got a flashback to when he was standing next to Gemma.

“Harry, c’mon get in this one –” Paul gestured for Harry to scoot closer to Josh but Harry needed some air. They were outside but he still felt like he couldn’t breathe. In order to stop himself from having another panic attack, Harry inched farther away.

“Actually, um, I think I’m going to head back in and use the loo.”

Once he was in the safety of a bathroom, he glowered at himself in the mirror. That guilty feeling kept nipping at him. The person he saw staring back at him wasn’t who he wanted it to be. He wanted to be ecstatic. But Gemma leaping around in her gown and smiling and looking so much like their mom, that just wouldn’t leave his mind.

Eventually though, after splashing his face with water and plastering on a smile, Harry emerged from the bathroom. He nearly startled out of his skin when he saw Anne there waiting for him.

“Hey honey,” She smiled at him so gently that immediately told Harry that she had cottoned on to what was going on with him.

“I’m sorry.” Harry apologized straightaway.

“What on earth for?”

“This is a special day for Lou and Josh and I –” He felt the tears start to rise and he cut himself off, looking down the hall and away from Anne.

“C’mere.” And then Anne was engulfing him in a hug and it just reminded him so much of how his own mother would be. Tight in her embrace, Harry couldn’t help but let a few tears loose. “Wanna tell me why you’ve been sad all day?”

Had he really been that obvious?

“Um,” Harry cleared his throat, pulling away from the hug. “I just, last year, I went to my sister’s graduation. And it’s hard not to think about her, that’s all.”

“I’m so sorry that this is hard for you. You didn’t have to come if you weren’t up for it, we all would have understood. Do you want me to take you home?” She rubbed his arm soothingly.

“No, I can handle it, I just needed a moment.”

“Okay. Hey, before we go back out there, I just wanted to let you know that Paul and I are always here for you okay? It doesn’t matter what you need. We both love you very much.”

“Thanks.” And honestly, the words got to him more than he’d ever admit.

-

Once everything was said and done, Harry was glad that he went. Sure it was pretty hard for him but it did help him gain just a little bit of closure.

“Hey Harry,” Ed said as soon as Harry’d emerged from the bathroom. “Wanna listen to this new song that I’m working on?”

“Sure.” Harry laid back in his bed and closed his eyes as the first few notes filled the room.

What I never told you

Is that your eyes are my favorite kind of blue

Deeper than the ocean

Hide my love away in a room with glass walls, love.

Is it okay now?

The strumming of Ed’s guitar signaled that they were heading to the chorus. Harry had his lip trapped between his teeth.

It happened so quick

Between hellos I was sold

Our eyes tell the stories left unsaid

All the things my mouth can’t say yet

“And that’s really all I’ve got so far.” Ed stopped abruptly. “’ve you ever been in love?”

Ed just laid it all out there, he looked tough on the outside but anyone who knew him knew that he was actually just a huge teddy bear.

“I’m, well I’m not sure. Love is. Well I don’t know.” He struggled. He’d never really felt like he was in love with anyone but all he could think about during Ed’s song was Louis.

“Do you want to help me write the second verse?” He asked, scribbling on his little notebook.

“I don’t know, I’m not an expert – ”

“Tell me about that then.”

“Um…” Harry let a few moments of silence drag on before he started. “You hear all about Prince Charming as a kid. But what if that’s not who I want? What if I want just  a simple boy who laughs at my stupid jokes or reassures me when I’m uncertain or whispers about kisses? I’ve never felt the kind of love that keeps marriages intact for sixty years. I’ve never been kissed in the rain. I want it so much it feels like I feel like I’m going mad. But what if I find my own version of perfect and he doesn’t see the same in me? What if I fall in love by myself? Is it worth it?”

Ed scribbled furiously and honestly, Harry kind of went off in a zone and totally forgot that Ed was there. He blushed furiously realizing all the things he’d just said to Ed, how vulnerable he’d just made himself.

And then Ed just started singing,

Our hearts beat the same beat

Our breaths mingle as you say you want to kiss me

I meant to guard my heart

But it’s too late now

It happened so quick

Between hellos I was sold –

“Um, Ed?” Harry reluctantly interrupted.

“Hm?” Apparently Ed wasn’t bothered by the interruption, because the second he stopped singing, he was back to scribbling notes in his notebook.

“Is that second verse about me?”

“Well obviously, I just asked you – ”

“But,” Harry persisted, Ed wasn’t getting it. “This is your song. Why would you write about my feelings in your love song?”

“Not all of my love songs are about my love, Harry.”

-

“You should dye your hair pink! It’d look so cute on you!” Lou and Perrie were discussing hair color while Jade and Leigh-Anne  were off in her room doing god knows what. Which left Harry and Jesy. And Harry was honestly okay with that. He felt like he saw her the least out of all of his girls.

“We need to talk about hot boys. C’mon, it’s been forever.” Jesy prodded gently at Harry’s knee.

“Fine,” Harry smiled. He and Jesy used to do this all the time back when they were all in the same foster home. Perrie was usually too private about the people she liked and Jade was usually too busy actually acting on her crushes.

“What do you think about Simon Amstell?” Jesy started, holding Harry’s pillow to her chest.

“Isn’t he gay?” Harry asked, pretty sure he’d seen the curly haired lad checking out a few other lads in the hallways.

“I don’t know. I hope not. I thought he was cute. And hey, if he is, you should get on that!” She nudged him playfully.

“Nah. He’s not really my type.” Harry shrugged.

“And what is your type? Because the last time I remember talking about this, you were saying that you’d give a fair chance to anyone.”

“I don’t know,” A blush made it’s way to the surface of Harry’s cheeks. “I like them confident and funny and…athletic and good with his family and really this is just a plus but I like them out and proud too.”

“Well. That’s pretty specific. I can think of one guy that fits that description at this school –”

“Okay! So who else do you like?” Harry was quick to change the subject.

“How about Sam Smith?”

“Definitely gay.” Harry could confirm this. He’d accidently walked in on Sam and some random guy making out in the bathroom. And he’d been friends with him on Facebook long enough to know.

“Nooooo!” Jesy shouted, groaning frustratingly. “Why are all the cute and nice guys gay?”

“It’s part of the agenda.” Harry said and then both of them were laughing hysterically.

“Harry! Leigh-Anne! Dinner!” Ed yelled up the stairs, the smell of salmon tacos following his voice.

Once everyone was downstairs and around the table, everyone sort of exploded. Anne was busy talking to Jade, while Perrie and Lou continued to talk about hair colors – a topic that never  seemed to end with the two. Leigh-Anne and Jesy were going on and on animatedly about something that Harry honestly wasn’t paying attention to. Ed was too invested in his phone (probably texting Ellie) to truly pay attention. So it was just Harry and Josh, awkwardly eating in silence.

“So Westminster, huh?” Harry asked, swallowing down a bite of salmon.

“Yeah. Engineering is kind of what I always wanted to do. I briefly considered doing med school but I don’t think that’s for me.”

“Well that’s cool.” Harry said, realizing that this was the first actual conversation he and Josh were having. After two months, they were finally talking. “At least you know what you want to do.”

“You don’t?” Josh pushed, spooning some rice into his mouth.

“I mean, not really, no.” Harry shrugged, finishing the food on his plate. “I’ve considered doing therapy. Or being a social worker. But I also feel like that’d be too hurtful.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” He bit his lip and then decided fuck it. “I know what it’s like to jump from home to home to home. And I also know that my case worker sometimes doesn’t have control over what happens to me. I used to beg for a different home and they couldn’t always give that to me. And I don’t know if I’d be able to deal with that, like emotionally.”

“Well,” Josh pushed his plate away and clasped his hands on the table. “I get that. I mean, I was never a foster kid but, I was a part of a huge custody battle when I was thirteen so I kind of get the feeling of not knowing where I belong.”

“Really?” Harry couldn’t help but ask. “Your mom never really talked about your dad.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of a long story.” He shrugged. “You wanna come play FIFA? I have the new one that just came out.”

“Um,” Harry glanced at his friends but they were all still otherwise involved. “Sure.”

As it turned out, Harry still sucked at FIFA. Josh would probably have more fun playing with Louis. And just the thought of Louis was enough to distract Harry from the game completely. Because he thought about how good Louis was at FIFA and then he thought about how good Louis was at football in general and then he was thinking about Louis’ bum in those football shorts and it was all downhill from there really.

“What?” Josh asked, pausing the game.

“What?” Harry mirrored his confused expression.

“You just mumbled something. It sounded like you said something about Louis.”

“Oh.” Harry instantly flushed. “Um, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” The silence only lasted a few more seconds. “There’s a reason that my mom never talks about my dad.”

Harry hums to show Josh that he’s listening.

“Their marriage was honestly pretty toxic. They got married because mom got pregnant with me. So they’d had problems all the time. But um, when I was eleven, I came out.”

Harry smiled gently although it was obvious that the ending of this story wouldn’t be so pleasant. Not only with the tone of Josh’s voice, but also in knowing that the Higgins’ are homophobic.

“I’m transgender.” Josh said, almost as if he were expecting Harry to gasp or freak out or something. Harry just continued smiling.

“Okay.” Harry said, realizing that Josh was waiting for him to say something. “So you’re a girl? Should I start using she/her pronouns? Or like, they/them?”

“No. I um, I’m a boy.” And then it clicked for Harry.

“Okay.” Harry nodded, even reaching out to rub Josh’s arm. “So Anne accepts this? She’s obviously been using the correct pronouns and name and stuff.”

“It’s…” Josh sighed. “Complicated.”

Just as Harry was about to let the subject drop, Josh continued.

“My parents fought about my…stuff for two years. It’s what drove them apart. Mom, she loves me. But it was hard for her to realize that I was never going to be the daughter she wanted. My dad’s main point against her in the custody battle was that she wasn’t accepting of me as their son. But eventually, she came around because she wanted to keep me. So.”

“That’s a good thing, right? She came around.” Harry was always one to try and seek the positives.

“Well I mean, if my dad hadn’t challenged her on it, she may not have.” Josh said quietly, no longer looking at Harry.

“Well I support you. One hundred percent.”

“You’re the only one that knows. Besides my mom and Paul.”

“Why did you tell me?” Harry couldn’t help but be curious. “Not that it’s a bad thing that you did, more just. Why me? I’ve been here the shortest out of everyone. Like, why not tell Ed? He was the first here, right?”

“I told you because,” Josh hesitated. “Well,”

Josh’s eyes met his and before Harry even realized what was happening, Josh was kissing him.

“Whoa.” Harry pulled back, stunned. “I’m not, I’m um.”

Josh’s entire face was flaming red. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay. I just. I’m not – ”

“Is it because I’m not really a boy?” Insecurity showed through and instantly Harry felt bad.

“What? Absolutely not! You’re just as much a boy as I am! It doesn’t matter to me, honestly. It’s not you, I swear. One day someone’s going to come along and love you for every bit of you – ”

“Someone meaning not you.” Josh whispered sadly.

“Wait, how’d you know I was gay?” Harry asked after a sad silence.

“Let’s just say the vents blow in more than just cold air.”

“Oh.” Harry shrugged. “I’m sorry though. About this. And everything. You know, one of things that really hurt me about my family situation was that my mom never, ever hesitated to accept me and I don’t get that anywhere else. Not everyone got as lucky as I did.”

“I’m still sorry for kissing you.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry that I don’t feel that way for you, I hope this doesn’t, like, make things weird between us.”

“It won’t.” Josh’s cheeks were still burning red.

“C’mere.” Harry pulled Josh into a hug.

-

Harry tiredly headed up to his and Ed’s room after the emotional conversation with Josh. He was ready for bed, that was for sure. Without thinking, he barged into the room and turned the light on. The sight of Leigh-Anne sitting on Ed’s bed nearly caused him to jump out of his skin.

“Jesus!” He yelled instinctively.

“Harry,” Leigh-Anne jumped just slightly. “Sorry that we keep meeting like this.”

“It’s fine.” Harry dumped himself on his bed, closing his eyes. “What’s on your mind this time?”

“Mom,” Leigh-Anne cleared her throat. “Mom set me up with one of her friends’ sons. And she keeps telling me that you and Jade would make a great couple.”

“Well – ” Harry nearly brought up Josh but he cut himself off. Obviously his situation wasn’t something that he was ready for the others to know. “I’m sorry. I know this whole thing sucks.”

“Well I’ve been thinking and I may have a solution to this that will get mom off both of our backs about it.”

“I don’t know if I like the sound of this.” Harry said dubiously.

“What if you and I date? – ”

“Um Leigh-Anne?” Harry interrupted. “Hi, I’m Harry Styles. I don’t think we’ve met before. At least you seem to have forgotten. I’m gay. Like pretty fucking gay. And last I heard so are you – ”

“That’s,” Leigh-Anne held up her hand, almost laughing. “Not what I meant. Do you know what it’s called when a gay man and woman date each other? It’s called bearding. Maybe we could beard for each other so that mom will think we’re straight.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a great idea. I mean, we’re supposed to be like siblings or whatever.”

“Trust me, mom would be more supportive of this than she would of us being in homosexual relationships.”

“But why though? Like, why not just deal with this? Why go as far as a fake relationship?”

“I’m tired of my mom trying to force me into some relationship when I’m already in one. It already hurts enough to have to h-hide who I am.” Emotion clouded Leigh-Anne’s face but Harry honestly wasn’t convinced.

“Can I at least think about it?” Harry asked.

“Yeah,” Leigh-Anne caved. “Of course. Just remember that it’s not just me that it’ll help. Eventually, she’ll ask you about girls too.”

Harry went to bed earlier than the rest. All his girls had to leave because opposite sex sleep overs were off limits. Plus everyone else was last minute packing since they left at six am for the airport. He was still kind of upset that he wasn’t able to vaca in America but if he were being honest, he was just glad that he was still with the Higgins family.

-

“Boys,” Anne whispered into the dark, rainy morning. “Be downstairs in ten minutes.”

“Ughhhh,” Ed groaned, rolling over just as Harry peaked his eyes open. And that’s when Harry saw it.

“What happened to you?” Harry asked in a tired haze.

“Remember that one time I convinced mom and dad to let me stay at Ellie’s?” He asked, rubbing over the large bruise over his heart, that Harry realized was due to some activities that he didn’t want to picture Ed doing.

“Yeah,” Harry blushed, remembering what he did when Ed was gone.

“Well we sort of fucked. And sort of haven’t stopped.”

“Oh well,” Harry rubbed at his face tiredly. “Cool I guess.”

“’ve you and Louis fucked?”

Harry literally accidently knocked himself out of his bed, dumping unceremoniously onto the floor. “What?!”

“Was just wondering. You two are always giving each other the bedroom eyes – ”

“Bedroom eyes? I don’t give him bedroom eyes!”

“Sure, mate.” Ed shrugged. “Better finish getting ready before mom steals your bacon.” And with that, he walked out of the room.

Quickly, Harry fit himself into a random pair of jeans and a band t-shirt. Before heading downstairs, he washed his face and brushed his teeth.

“Harry!” Lou yelled up the stairs and Harry finally made his way down the stairs.

Breakfast passed in a blur and before he knew it, the family was out the door and on the way to L.A. Harry spent the first thirty minutes aimlessly scrolling through channels on the telly before he got too bored. It was too silent. Over the months since his family passed, Harry had gotten used to yelling. Everyone was always yelling at something. Whether it be the telly, each other, or nothing at all, there was always noise, always yelling. But Harry sat there, the entire house dead silent, and it got to him. So Harry did the first thing that he could think of. Silently, he trudged up the stairs and slid under the bed. He curled his knees into his chest after putting headphones in his ears. He had a playlist for times like these, when he was under the bed. It was composed of songs that reminded him of his family in some way. There were some songs that were happy sure, but most of them were super sad and depressing. He never really played it since he knew it’d make him upset and he didn’t like to have other people see him upset.

As the first few notes of the first song on his playlist floated through the headphones, Harry thought back to the first time he heard it.

He’d gotten up in the middle of the night to steal some ice cream when he heard music softly coming from the kitchen. He peaked into the room, watching as Robin slowly twirled his mom and spun her back into his arms.

“You’re still the one I run to, the one that I belong to, still the one I want for life.” Robin whispered the lyrics just loud enough for Harry to hear.

As Harry watched them dance around in their pajamas with sweet, tired smiles and tangled hair, Harry knew. If he found a love like that, he’d be one of the lucky ones.

When Gemma’s song came on, Harry lost it. Sobs viciously shook Harry’s body.

How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

And now you gon’ be with me for the last ride

It’s been a long day without you my friend

And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

We’ve come a long way from where we’ve began

I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

When I see you again

Turned towards the wall, Harry sobbed, almost starting to hyperventilate. His sobs were so intense, it was at the point of giving him a migraine. When Harry felt arms wrap around him, he jumped so powerfully that he hit his head on the bed above him and let out a scream. He immediately turned to see that it was Louis and that honestly did nothing to help his heart stop racing.

“Jesus fuck,” Harry exclaimed, taking his headphones out. “You scared the fucking shit out of me!”

“Sorry. The door was unlocked so I just came in…Could hear you crying from the front door.” He said softly and it was like all the emotions came rushing back to Harry at once.

“Um,” Harry’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Louis said with the most genuine eyes that Harry’d ever seen. Louis scooted just a little bit closer, pulling Harry into him and Harry just broke.

The sobs returned, gross and loud. He shook and Louis held him tighter. When he had a hard time breathing, Louis rubbed up and down his back soothingly.

“Everything is so fucked up,” Harry whispered, voice hoarse from the intense crying. “This July will mark a year.”

“Hmm,” Louis hummed to show that he was listening.

“A year since some drunk fuck hit the car my family was in. My mom and stepdad were driving my sister to visit Manchester. She was going to go to Uni there. They’d barely made it out of town before the piece of shit hit them. Gemma and Robin, they – passed right there on the road. My mom, she lived for two days before she – she died. She didn’t look like my mom anymore. She looked, she looked scary.” Tears were flowing down Harry’s cheeks and his heart almost felt as if it’d rip out of his chest.

“Harry,” Louis sounded close to tears himself. “I’m so sorry that you had to go through all that, I’m literally so fucking sorry. If I could take your pain away, I would. In a fucking heartbeat.”

Harry looked at Louis’ beautiful blue eyes that were filled to the brim with tears, searching. Searching for a reason, searching for the lie. But all he could see was genuineness. So he lightly gripped at the hairs at the back of Louis’ head and he kissed him. Finally, he kissed Louis. It was clear that Louis was surprised but he was quick to kiss back. And all Harry could feel was happiness. Despite how sad he’d been just moments earlier, kissing Louis made it all better.

“Wait,” Louis pulled back. “What – ”

“I’m gay. God fucking dammit I’m so fucking gay.” The moment the words were out, relief flooded through him.

“Hold on, we’re not having this conversation under the bed.” Louis scooted out and got up until all Harry could see were his feet.

Harry scooted out from underneath the bed pretty much as awkwardly as he could. He nearly got rug burn on his elbow and almost fell onto Louis as he was trying to get up. But eventually he made it up and he and Louis were both standing there, face to face.

“Look Harry, I’m happy that you told me. I’m so fucking proud of you for telling me. But what I said a while back hasn’t changed. I don’t date people that are in the closet. And don’t tell me that we can be fuck buddies because I already have feelings for you so that’s fucked.”

“Oh my god,” Harry couldn’t help it, his eyes started filling with tears.

“Don’t cry, Harry, please don’t cry.” Louis begged, looking upset himself.

“I was never in the god damn closet! Growing up, I never even had to come out, it was a non-issue. But then I come here and Leigh-Anne tells me that they’re homophobic. So if I want to stay in the only loving home that I’ve had since my family died, I have to pretend like I’m not thinking about kissing you pretty much every day! I’ve always fucking liked you. When we went on that date, I wanted to tell you that I was gay so fucking bad, but I, I looked over at that house and.” Harry paused, taking a breath to prevent the wave of emotions that threatened to escape. “I need a family, Louis. I need a stable family. And I need a family who loves me. What was I supposed to do?”

“Babe,” Louis voiced, sounding sad yet again. “I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve to have to make that kind of decision.”

“Leigh-Anne thinks that we should beard for each other. She thinks that that will keep them off of our backs.” Harry whispered, noticing how Louis was inching closer to him.

“Wait? Leigh-Anne is gay?” Louis looked surprised.

“Yeah, you couldn’t tell?” Harry teased, dimples showing as he smiled faintly.

“I’m sorry. Not all gays have gaydar.” He sassed and Harry’s heart felt light and heavy at the same time.

“Where does that leave us?” He asked the question, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer. Louis was so close, he could feel Louis’ breath on his cheek.

“In the four-ish months that I’ve known you, you’re all that’s been on my mind. It’s driving me a bit mad to be honest. I know you said you were never in the closet but you kind of are now. I believe you though. I want you so badly,  it’s just that I’m nervous.” Louis looked so vulnerable and Harry wasn’t used to that. He liked it though, loved actually, that Louis was sharing his real feelings with him.

“I want you too. I want this. I want to be able to be open with you. And honestly, I already have strong feelings for you too. I don’t know what I can say that will change your mind about being nervous.”

“Promise me.” Louis said strongly. “Promise me right now that you aren’t going to wake up one day and realize that you’re straight. Promise me that I’m not your experiment.”

“You will never be my experiment. I’ve always been gay, there was never even a day where I ‘realized’ I was gay. It’s just how I’ve always been. Creep on my Facebook far enough and you’ll see that I was openly in a relationship with a guy. I’m not ashamed of you. But would it bother you if I pretended to be with Leigh-Anne?” He had to make sure before things went any farther.

“As long as I get to do this,” Louis paused and for a moment, he looked as if he were about to kiss Harry. Instead, he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. “I’ll be fine.”

“Kiss me.” Harry whispered. And not even a second later, Louis’ lips found his, molding together in an already perfect rhythm.

“So, boyfriend, do fancy a cup of tea? Unless you take yours with sugar, if that is the case then I’m never speaking to you again.”

And this time, Harry’s laugh carried all the way through the house. Leave it to Louis to find him a sobbing mess and then turn him into a laughing mess.

-

The two weeks without his family – the Higgins, was difficult. He spent most of the two weeks with Louis, letting Louis distract him from the odd … void he felt knowing that his house was empty. It was also difficult to see all the pictures all over facebook and the repeated statuses that he was tagged in, “wish you were here!” The thing is, he really, really missed them. And as much as he tried to convince himself that it was because of the fact that they were on some lavish trip in a city he’d always dreamed of visiting, it wasn’t. He missed being unable to sleep because Ed was still in his writing zone; and he missed waiting grumpily outside the bathroom for Lou to finish in the morning. He missed Leigh-Anne’s constant nagging; and he missed the quiet misunderstood Josh. And he fucking missed the way that Anne never let them sleep in because sleeping in is wasting the day. And god dammit, he missed the way everyone in the house got a rush of excitement every time that Paul got home from work.

But, Louis was definitely a distraction. Honestly, dating Louis didn’t feel too much different than just being his friend. With Lush, they went from being friends to being boyfriends. But with Louis, it felt like they were still best friends except they could love each other and kiss a lot. Even two weeks in, Harry loved it. He can already tell that if things with he and Louis go south, it’ll hurt.

On the night that everyone is supposed to return, Harry sat on the porch of the big grey house with Louis and Lottie. The siblings were actually acting civil with each other and Harry didn’t dare question it. When the Higgins finally pull into the driveway, Harry broke into a run to meet them at the car.

He crashed into Josh first, slowly working his way through all of his siblings. Anne pecked his cheek lightly but when he turned to Paul, it almost looked as if Paul were about to cry. Paul literally picked him up in a huge hug, even making his legs swing around just a bit.

“Hey bud,” Paul said with a huge smile. “We all missed you! How was your time here? Didn’t get too lonely huh?”

“Nah, Louis kept me busy.” Harry said, Paul letting him down.

“Aw,” Anne added in. “You two really are getting to be great friends.”

Harry glanced at Leigh-Anne at that comment. He’d already decided what he’d do about the situation that she’d brought to his attention before they went on vacation. And he was planning on telling her all about it as soon as she’d gotten settled in.

As everyone started filing inside, Harry snuck back over to Louis’ porch, for some quality time together before things got really, really crazy. He honestly hoped he wasn’t about to make a really fucking stupid decision.

“Hey,” Harry said, stepping closer to Louis than probably necessary.

“Oh my god,” Lottie complained. “Would you two just kiss already and get it over with?”

“Shut it,” Louis snapped, cheeks turning a pretty light pink. Harry liked that look on Louis. “Wanna head to my room for a sec? I need to tell you something without the LotMonster here.”

They bickered for a few more seconds while Harry stood there waiting, chewing on his lip. Eventually, the two make their way downstairs. The second that the door is closed behind them, Louis is hugging him.

“What did you want to talk about?” Harry asked, inhaling the sweet scent that was the laundry soap that the Tomlinson’s used.

“Nothing,” Louis said with a smug smile. “Just wanted to do this.”

Louis leaned down, capturing Harry’s lips in his own.

“God,” Louis sighed as they pulled away. “I still can’t believe I can kiss you.”

“Lou,” Harry’s stomach seized up. “Are you sure that you’re okay with this? I hate the idea that we have to hide away in your basement just to kiss each other. This is exactly what you said you didn’t want. Do you promise you won’t like, resent me because of all this.”

“The fact that you are worrying about my feelings reassures me that you’re in this for me.”

“And you’re okay with me pretending to be with Leigh-Anne?” Harry triple checked.

“Harry, yes. I understand that this is what you have to do to stay with the Higgins.”

“But this is going back on everything that you said that you wanted. This is pretty much the exact opposite.”

“It’s the same for you though! You said you’d never had to hide before. And you told me that you and Leigh-Anne got in fights over it. Obviously this is going back on everything you wanted too.”

“Yeah, but – ”

“No buts. You’re compromising too. And I’ve already decided. We’re in the together.”

Louis had barely gotten the complete sentence out and Harry was kissing him. Heat swirled through Harry and for a second, he thought that maybe they were going to go farther. Even though it was way early, Harry would’ve. But, the sound of his ringtone interrupted whatever amazing experience was about to happen.

It was a text from Anne, calling him back for dinner. As much as Harry was annoyed, he was felt affection ebbing at him. He needed this.

“Gotta go?” Louis guessed, even still a smile on his face.

“Yeah. Kiss for the road?” Harry asked hopefully.

“God we’re already disgustingly cute.” Louis kissed him, all giggly. And Harry’s heart felt simply happy.

-

After dinner, Harry pulled Leigh-Anne into his and Ed’s room. Ed was with Ellie again already and Lou was nursing an intense sunburn so their room was off limits for this conversation that they were about to have.

“So,” He began, closing the door. “I’ve thought about it.”

“And?” Leigh-Anne asked anxiously.

“Let’s do it.”

“Yes! Harry, I fucking love you!” Tears instantly sprang to her eyes as she practically jumped into his arms. “I could kiss you if I weren’t so fucking gay!”

Harry smiled, proud of her, proud of his sister. Not obviously like Gemma but still.

“Now comes the fun part,” Harry said. “Planning how we fell in looooove.”

“Let me get my notebook!”

**-**


End file.
